


A Thousand Winds that Blow

by codasaurusb



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Anyway all the characters are young adults who are about 18, Different backstories for all the characters, Different magic from dnd tho, F/F, F/M, General amounts of canon-typical angst and trauma, Happy Ending, I realize now that was confusing sorry, M/M, Maybe warning for some canon-typical violence, Slow Burn, just to make it clear because it isn't magic isn't supposed to exist in this universe, similar but adapted for the setting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-06-22 15:18:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 52,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15584799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/codasaurusb/pseuds/codasaurusb
Summary: Caleb's been caught playing with fire one too many times. He's not imprisoned; far from it, he's at the school of his dreams, able to have a fresh start he could only dream about before. But he expected privacy, time to hide and hone his gift.He wasn't expecting to live with other students in any kind of close proximity, and he certainly wasn't expecting one of his suit mates to be so....unashamedabout poking around what Caleb would obviously like to keep keep secret.But something tells him that Mollymauk Tealeaf has secrets of his own.Alt title: critical role but it's a cheesy young adult novel





	1. Chapter 1

" _Scheisse,"_ Caleb Widogast whispers as he reads the email from housing services for what must be the third time. He wonders, briefly, if he's misreading it- Common is not his first language, after all- but dismisses the thought. He is not a fool, he knows what it says. He opens a new chat window.

 

**Caleb:** Nott, are you there?

**Nott:** yep! just got my housing assignment! 

**Nott:** right next to the showers, and two windows! not bad, right Caleb?

**Caleb:** _Ja,_ Nott, that sounds very good, but I have a problem here.

**Caleb sent an image to the chat.**

**Caleb:** I specifically requested a  _single,_ Nott.

**Nott:** it looks like you've got one?

**Nott:** oh.

**Nott:** is this about the suite?

**Caleb:** _Of course this is about the suite_

**Caleb:** I need privacy, Nott. I told disability services that I couldn't cope with living with other people.

**Nott:** they're not really living with you though, are they?

**Nott:** you just share a common area, that's it!

**Nott:** and it's just two other people, Caleb, I'm sure you can ignore them.

**Caleb:** It's not whether I can ignore them, it's whether  _they_ can ignore  _me._

**Nott:** if it makes you so nervous, why not just email housing services, or disability services?

**Caleb:** I had not even thought about that.

**Caleb:** You are right. Give me a moment.

 

He flicks back to his school email and freezes. There's a new email since last time he checked it, from Dayana Prucine, the absolute last person that he wanted to see an email from. He takes a deep breath and opens it.

 

"Dear Mr. Widogast,

You may be wondering why you are in a suite when you asked for privacy. 

You may recall our conversation about your activities. I was, to put it mildly, unconvinced that you had dropped them entirely. I trust that this is an acceptable compromise; you have a private space to retreat to, but any activity outside of normal will be noticed. If it makes you feel better, at least, these are misfits much like yourself.

Yours,

Dayana Prucine"

 

Caleb grits his teeth. It stings, to read that: misfits. He knows he could be called far worse, and probably deserves to be. 

 

**Caleb:** I am back.

**Nott:** you sent the email?

**Caleb:** _Nein._

**Caleb:**  This is Prucine's doing.

**Nott:**....I'll kill her, if you want.

**Caleb:** _Nein,_ I have had enough trouble with the government for a lifetime.

**Nott:** so there's no chance of you getting privacy?

**Caleb:** Now that she's been involved? None.

**Caleb:** She did mention, though, that my new neighbors are "misfits much like yourself."

**Nott:** what does that mean?

**Nott:** misfits like outsiders, or misfits like, you know, us?

**Caleb:** No idea, but it's an interesting thought. 

**Caleb:** How about your roommate?

**Nott:** she hasn't contacted me yet?

**Nott:** her name is Yasha apparently, so it doesn't sound like another goblin :/

**Caleb:** Sorry, Nott. I know you were hoping.

**Nott:** no, it's not like I was expecting anything, to be honest.

**Nott:** how many goblins are there who want to go to college instead of, I don't know, joining gangs?

**Caleb:** It is still unfortunate. I hope you and Yasha get along, at least.

**Nott:** How bad can she be? It's not like she's going to eat me alive.

**Caleb:** _Ja,_ that is a good attitude to have.

**Caleb:** I think I need some space.

 

Nott, bless her, leaves him on read, doesn't make him reply to something. She knows him better than anyone else. They've been friends for years, now, since middle school when he found her picking the lock on his locker and she caught him. She'd been expecting a fight, been expecting another lecture from the principal (but they wouldn't kick her out, oh no. Not when her parents got involved). He had, instead, asked her to teach him how to do what she was doing, and ever since then, it had just been Caleb and Nott, Nott and Caleb, two miscreants with a knack for not getting caught anymore. 

It's hard, now that they're further apart. He can no longer exchange a look with Nott, tell her with his eyes that he's in trouble and needs rescuing. Even if he could, what could one goblin do against a government that had its eye on him, watching, waiting for him to cross it again. One more strike, he knows, and he's out.

It would be so easy, he thinks, just to disobey, ignore the consequences, follow the path that Mr. Ikathon started him on. But even the thought of that make the bile rise in his throat, remembering the last semester, the sound of crackling wood, the screams echoing through the halls, billowing clouds of smoke-

He shakes his head vigorously, clearing it as best as he can. He controls his breathing, automatically falling into the well-rehearsed pattern. It's familiar, this calming ritual, and it would be so easy just to give in, follow the next step. So he does, holding out his hand and concentrating.  _Not much this time,_ he thinks desperately,  _just enough that I know I can still do it._

A flame pops to life in his hand, impossibly, the size of a candle flame. He lets it sit there, a tiny bit of victory surging through his body, before closing his fist on it deliberately, allowing his mind to clear again. There isn't even any smoke as the flame goes out. He looks at his hand again, a tiny smile on his lips, curling his fingers and examining his unmarked hand. He shouldn't be doing this, he knows, but it's addicting to know that he can do something nobody else can do. It's even more alluring now that he knows he shouldn't do it, to be honest.

He looks back at his computer screen, and is startled to notice a new chat window has popped up. He glares at it, wondering if it's more spam, but no, it looks like a serious conversation.

 

**Mollymauk Tealeaf created a group.**

**Mollymauk Tealeaf renamed the group "the suite life"**

**Mollymauk:** hello caleb!

**Mollymauk:** im molly and also fjord is in here too!

**Fjord:** Hey.

**Mollymauk set his nickname to "Molly".**

**Molly:** we're sharing a suite with you and just wanted to make sure we were all on the same page

**Molly:** apparently fjord is bringing a huge toolbox and first aid kit so don't bother bringing those because we can all share

**Molly:** and I've got a very convincing fake ID so don't worry about getting booze

**Molly:** so what do you bring to the table?

**Caleb:** Um. I used to tutor at my old school, so if you need assistance in your studies, I may be able to help?

**Fjord:** That's mighty kind of you, Caleb.

**Molly:** little bit boring but ok

**Caleb:** If you don't mind, I am a very private person.

**Fjord:** That's fine, Caleb, I can respect that. Let us know if you need anything.

**Molly:** unacceptable but I guess it's your choice

**Molly:** lmao it's like jinx but in reverse

 

Caleb mutes the conversation and closes out of the program entirely, falling into bed instead.  _One more month,_ he thinks, tired.  _One more month and I'll be at Cobalt Soul University, and I can do what I want, have a place where I can be with Frumpkin._ He tries, almost successfully, to push the roommate issue to the back of his head. Molly seemed annoying, but truthfully, it seemed like he could live with Fjord, who had backed off respectfully, offered his help but not forced himself on Caleb. The question remained, niggling at the back of his mind, of how he was going to deal with Tealeaf, who was, from Caleb's initial assessment, a troublemaker- not a subtle one, like Nott and himself, but a showy one, someone who would draw trouble back to his door. He sighed, closing his eyes, deciding he would deal with it tomorrow.

It was shaping up to be an interesting year.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Caleb gets to Cobalt Soul University at 7:00, before the lines hit in earnest, and manages to get his room key and paperwork before a huge crowd swarms into the gym, parents and students and siblings all chattering, arguing, making a lot of noise. Caleb stumbles out, clutching his bags as if expecting someone to take them from him.

He hasn't packed very much. Moving from foster home to foster home, and then living at a boarding school, he's grown used to having to move his junk at a moment's notice. He shipped his bedding and a lot of his necessities beforehand, too, so really, he's traveling very light: just his backpack, a duffel bag full of clothes, and a soft, rectangular bag with mesh patches that he, currently is holding very carefully as he walks to his building.

The bag twitches, and a bloodcurdling shriek emanates from it. Caleb winces as passersby stare at him. "Behave," he mutters under his breath. "We are almost there, and then I can let you out, I promise." The bag twitches again, but settles. Caleb speeds up, power walking to the door. He swipes his new ID, fumbling a bit. It doesn't work, so he tries it the other direction, and the keypad blinks green. Inside the door, he hears a locking mechanism disengage. They have good security here, evidently, and he relaxes a bit at that. He drags his bag into the lobby, looks around for a second. It's pleasant, really; he looked it up, when he was trying to decide on a dorm, and evidently Leakytap is considered one of the nicer dorms. It has a smell that instantly reminds him of boarding school, and he takes a few deep breaths, lets himself relax. He's not in government custody anymore.

He's living on the second floor, so he hauls his bags up the stairs rather than confront the mysteries of the elevator, unlocks the first door, the suite door. The common room is surprisingly spacious. He can tell that, if he were the type to host parties, he would be delighted by this. But he's not; he's mostly just worried that his suitemates  _are_ the type to host parties, and he will be huddled alone in his room, unable to go outside.

His bag makes another sound of protest. All right, not  _entirely_ alone. He goes over to his door- 209A, with an obviously hand-made door deck tacked to it- and lets himself in. He shuts the door firmly behind him, locks it, and then, placing the bag on the ground, unzips it. A furry orange tabby struggles out before he's even done, making loud, protesting noises.

" _Ja,_ I know, I know," Caleb whispers, petting the cat. "You have a chance to stretch your legs now, while I go get everything we need. Be good." He kisses Frumpkin's head, much to the cat's displeasure. He slips out, careful not to let the cat out, and goes to pick up his packages.

When he returns, sweating a little bit in the heat, his suite mates are still nowhere to be found. He unlocks his door, setting the stack of boxes down, and looks for his cat. He's still sniffing around the room, making himself comfortable. When he notices Caleb, he yawns and stretches, tiny form shaking slightly. Caleb smiles down at him, scratching his ears. "Everything satisfactory?" he asks Frumpkin softly. "No leaks, or mice, or listening devices?" He knows it's ridiculous, talking to a cat like he's a human person, but it's not like he's going to ask anyone else. Besides, Frumpkin sometimes seems almost like he understands. Right now, though, Frumpkin just washes his paw, looking disinterested in Caleb. "You are right," Caleb says, standing back up. "I should be unpacking."

He sets to it, putting out Frumpkin's litter box and food and water bowls first, just in case. He makes his bed, sets up his computer and charging cables, puts away his school supplies, and is halfway through folding and putting away his clothes when he hears he suite door unlock and a muffled curse. He pauses, listens to the sound of banging as someone drags something large and heavy through the door. He resolutely keeps himself from opening the door to peer out and resumes unpacking as quietly as possible. 

It's not long after that that he hears the suite door slam open, and someone proclaim loudly, "Fjord, my darling, I have finally arrived." The following conversation is too indistinct for Caleb to follow, but he's glad to hear that Fjord sounds just as weirded out by that entrance as he is. The muffled voices continue, until he hears one- Mollymauk's?- coming closer, saying, "-I don't know, I think he's here." There's a loud, quick burst of knocking at his door. "Caleb? Are you in there? You've ignored us all summer, but that's not gonna work anymore." 

Caleb sighs, resigned, and stands, opening the door and slipping out, closing it behind him before Frumpkin can slip out with him. Standing before him is a tall, widely grinning, obnoxiously dressed tiefling. He raises his eyebrows.

"You have my attention,  _ja,"_ he says, and Mollymauk's eyebrows go up.

"Ooh, I didn't realize you had an accent," he says. He turns, yelling, "Hey Fjord! Our suitemate's here, and he's cute, and he's got a Zemnian accent! And," he says, whipping back towards Caleb, his eyes glinting, "he won't let me see what's in his room." 

"It's not that," Caleb says, a little bit overwhelmed by Mollymauk's general demeanor. "I have a, um." He struggles, trying to remember the phrase in Common, and is distracted when Fjord enters the common room. The man turns out to be a tall half-orc with a pleasant face. For a second, Caleb wonders what it is about Fjord's face that confuses him, and realizes that the half-orc has no tusks. Caleb fumbles a second longer for the right phrase, and gives up. "A cat, who is here to act as a companion and ease my anxiety." 

"An emotional support animal?" Mollymauk asks, as Fjord says, "Shit, I'm allergic."

" _Ja,"_ Caleb says, before processing what Fjord has said. He winces. "I will keep Frumpkin out of the common area, so as long as you avoid my room, you should be fine." Truth to be told, he's a little bit glad that Fjord won't want to spend time in his room. 

"Huh," Fjord says, looking doubtful. "Anyway, I'm Fjord. I'm in the middle of unpacking, but just holler if you need me." He gives Caleb a friendly nod and exits back into his and Mollymauk's shared room. Caleb notices that Mollymauk's door deck looks a little bit rushed, a little sloppy, as if whoever had made it was on a short time schedule.

"Anyway," Mollymauk says breezily, and Caleb's attention snaps back to him, "I just wanted to introduce myself, make sure I knew my suitemate." He continues babbling, but Caleb tunes out as he starts to fully appreciate the eccentricity of the tiefling's appearance. Mollymauk is tall, wearing a crop top that reveals countless white scars on his chest, arms, hands, even a few on his stomach. Caleb looks uncomfortably away from those; in his experience, people who are scarred that often and in that way don't want to tell the story behind them, and he doesn't like to think of it. His eye settles on the tiefling's coat, instead, a ridiculously gaudy thing that the man has  _no_ business wearing in late summer.

"Enjoying the view?" Mollymauk enquires, amused, and Caleb becomes acutely, uncomfortably aware that he's been eyeing the man's body for the past thirty seconds. 

"Aren't you hot?" he asks, trying to gloss over his indiscretion, and Mollymauk's eyebrows raise slightly. "In a temperature sense, Mollymauk, we are not middle schoolers."

"Beauty is pain," Mollymauk says loftily, and then, "and it's Molly to my friends."

"Are we friends? We have just met."

"And you did spend most of the past month ignoring me." When Caleb is about to open his mouth to say something, Molly shakes his head. "No, don't apologize, no judgement. I personally believe we should be friends, if we aren't already. And," with a tiny wink, "if you want to make it up to me, you could introduce me to your cat. Pumpkin, was it?"

"Frumpkin," Caleb corrects, and then, because Molly is looking at him expectantly, he reluctantly opens the door, stepping through and grabbing Frumpkin before the cat can escape. Molly steps in, looking around.

"Nice place," he says. "Love what you've done with the walls." Caleb suspects that Molly is fucking with him, as he has not put anything up on his walls. He sighs. 

"I'm used to relocating a lot. I do not have much wall art."

"Evidently." Molly reaches out, letting Frumpkin sniff his hand. "Hello, Frumpkin," he breathes, and Frumpkin nuzzles into his hand. "Oh, he's so cute," he says to Caleb, sounding almost matter of fact, and Caleb hands Frumpkin to him. Molly accepts the cat, crooning softly in a language that Caleb thinks to be Infernal. Caleb allows himself to space out, sitting with his back against the wall, until Molly puts his cat down, standing and dusting his hands on his jeans.

"Well," he says, and there's an air of regret to it that Caleb strongly suspects to be bullshit, "I should go finish unpacking." He walks to the door, and then stops, turning. It's all so rehearsed that Caleb practically rolls his eyes, and then Molly asks, a little offhandedly, "By the way, have you talked to Dayana Prucine?" and all the air leaves Caleb's lungs at once. He flinches like he's been punched, and when he stammers, " _Nein,_ who- who is that?" Molly looks almost offended by how poor a lie it is. 

"Thought so," he says enigmatically, and leaves, leaving Caleb with a racing heart, a bored cat, and a list of questions a mile long.


	3. Chapter 3

There's a lot for Caleb to unpack, both literally and emotionally, after Molly leaves. His head whirls with questions:  _how does Mollymauk know Prucine? Is he the spy? Is he... like me? Is that where the scars come from? Does he agree with her, if she has control over him as she does over me?_ He places the final touches on his room and stands back to admire his work. He has to admit, in light of Molly's comments, it is pretty... sparse. Blank walls, black lamp on the desk, plain grey sheets, the only real splash of color in the room Frumpkin, curled up on his bed. He sits heavily on the bed.

"What shall I do, eh?" he murmurs, gently rubbing under the cat's chin. Frumpkin makes a soft  _mrrt_ sound as Caleb touches him, but raises his head obligingly. "Avoid them, I think, is all I can really do." Frumpkin tires of his petting and bites at his hand. Caleb jerks back with a yelp. "You are an ungrateful little fur ball," he complains, sitting in his chair to check his email and messages for the first time.

It's nothing very interesting: an email from the college-affiliated furniture store, a few messages from "the suite life", which he studiously ignores. Nott's window opens after a few minutes.

 

**Nott:** CALEB

**Nott:** update: my roommate may actually eat me alive

**Nott:** update: she also might be a Xhorhasian spy who will kill me in my sleep

**Caleb:** That seems.... unlikely?

**Nott:** update: my other suitemates are equally deranged!!

**Nott:** there's a mean human one who glares at me and a tiefling one who is just  _weird._

**Nott:** oh god I'm covered in glitter please come quick

 

Caleb, truth to be told, has had quite enough of weird tieflings, but it's Nott who's asking, and he's missed her. He listens at the door. There's been pop music blaring from the other room for the past half hour, occasionally joined by Molly's vocal accompaniment. He's not entirely sure how Fjord feels about this, but he slips out, making sure to take his new ID and his keys. 

It's nice to walk through the campus like this, he reflects. It feels like he's a normal person again, after being locked in the.... quarantine? prison? safe house? He's never been quite sure what the point of isolating him was. Maybe all three. The sun shines on his face, and all around him is a quiet buzz of excitement, students finding their new home. He breathes it in, relaxes a bit, and something in his chest unknots.

He reaches Pillowtrove sooner than he expects. He's read the campus maps over and over, even though his perfect memory probably would have had it down after skimming it quickly, but he honestly expected to have more trouble translating it into real life. He pulls out his phone. He's had several more messages from Nott.

 

**Nott:** update: the tiefling might actually be nice but she also slipped a pamphlet for some god into my pillowcase when she thought I wasn't looking

**Nott:** definitely not an approved god I'm keeping it as blackmail material! fair is fair

**Caleb:** Where is your room?

**Nott:** 109B

**Nott:** other roommate still unpacking. considering hiding under bed?

 

Caleb speeds up his pace, swiping and entering the building. Pillowtrove is generally considered to be a fancier dorm by some, a more pretentious dorm by others. He's impressed by the grand piano standing in the center of the room, and is almost tempted to check the manufacturer before he remembers Nott, and veers back towards the rooms. The door to the suite is open, and he knocks tentatively.

"Caleb?" He hears Nott call. She throws the door open, and seeing him, rushes forwards, clinging to him. "Oh, thank the gods."

Caleb kneels, allowing him to hug her back. Her skin is a little bit greasy, and she smells oddly like fish, but it's familiar, and he relaxes into it. "You are all right?" he whispers. "The others, they are not upset that you are a goblin,  _ja?"_

"I'm fine, Caleb," she says. She pulls back suddenly, looking him over. "You're all right?" she asks, her eyes large and worried. "You said you were, but I didn't know if they were making you say that, and..." 

"I am fine, Nott," Caleb says, standing. "They did nothing to me. Just... kept me alone, for a while." Her eyes narrow suspiciously. "Honestly, Nott."

"Who did what?" asks a familiar voice. Caleb jumps, whirling to see Molly leaning against the wall.

"You," he hisses, full of fear- Molly can't know about Nott. "Why are you following me?"

"Awfully presumptuous of you to assume I care about you," Molly drawls. "No, I was visiting a dear friend of my own who lives here. You two were just blocking the door, having your little moment. I couldn't help but overhear."

Caleb shakes, about to- he doesn't know, punch Molly, set his coat ablaze _rules be damned_ , but just then a voice from the other room calls, "Molly? Is that you?" and a huge, hulking woman appears at the door behind Nott, who, looking terrified, grabs Caleb's hand and tugs him out of the doorway.

"Yasha!" Molly cries joyfully, and Caleb blinks at Yasha.  _This_ is Nott's roommate? No wonder she's terrified. "Come here, my love!" He flings himself at her, and she smiles softly, wraps her arms around him. 

"Hi," she says softly, surprising given her size.

"We have so many guests!" says another voice, accented. Caleb looks up to see a blue tiefling beaming at them. He appraises her quickly. This must be the weird, religious suitemate that Nott mentioned. She's dressed in clothes that look simple, but Caleb knows must be more expensive than half the items in his dorm room combined, tailored to fit. Her tail swishes eagerly. "Everybody come in and hang with us! I'm going to go make some tea and then I can introduce myself properly and we can all get to know each other!" She skips into her room, calling, "Beau! Beau, get up, come hang with us, we have so many visitors and some of them are  _cu-ute!"_

"I'm gay!" he hears someone groan, but a moment later a human monk appears, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She looks a mess, but Caleb notices the alertness in her eyes, her toned form, ad hazards a guess.

"Student athlete?" he asks, and she nods.

"Yeah. Uh, I'm Beau. Got a scholarship here for gymnastics."

He nods. Most people would normally ask for his name in return, but evidently Beau doesn't care much. She's looking at Molly instead, still wrapped in Yasha's embrace, and Caleb sees an expression of jealousy flit across her face for a second before she pushes it back.

"Hey Yasha," she says, sounding almost casual but not quite reaching it. "Who's this, your boyfriend?"

"Nope!" Molly says, finally separating from Yasha to smile maliciously at Beau. "Yasha is single, if that's what you're asking."

"What?" Beau says, flushing slightly. "That's not what I was saying at all, man."

"Wasn't it though?" Molly asks lightly, turning to Nott. Caleb instinctively takes a step towards her, as if about to shield her from Molly. "Who is this... friend of Caleb's? From what I could tell, Caleb is incapable of making friends."

"This is Nott," Caleb says quickly, seeing Nott bare her fangs in a snarl at Molly. He really doesn't want Molly to think about Nott too much.

"You look really familiar," Jester says, returning with teapot and cups and frowning at Nott. "I don't know what it is, but I feel like I've seen you before, Nott?"

"Not all goblins look the same!" Nott says, sounding panicked.

"I don't think so either!" Jester hastens to assure her. "It's just that I feel like I've seen you before. Not in real life, though."

"What kind of tea is that?" Caleb says, trying to distract her. Nott obviously doesn't want people knowing about her identity, something that he can relate to. 

It works, and Jester perks up. "It's really good! It's this special cherry blossom rose green tea blend and it's really good, and I always wanted to have someone to share it with, and now I have a bunch of new friends!" She busies herself pouring the tea, setting it on the low table provided in the suite, and Caleb doesn't have the heart to correct her, not when she's so obviously excited about meeting them all.

"Tea sounds wonderful," Molly says, sitting on one of the couches and grabbing a cup.

"I like tea," Yasha says quietly, sitting next to him. Beau immediately rushes to sit next to her, grabbing a cup. Jester sits, having finished pouring, and Caleb and Nott exchange a look. Nott sits next to Jester, tentatively, and Caleb, sighing internally, joins her, picking up a cup. It's good tea, actually, and he sips it carefully. Jester sets her mug down first, beaming.

"Isn't it so good!"

"It is," Molly says appreciatively, and there's a collective murmur of agreement around the table, except from Beau, who says, "I dunno, I've never really  _understood_ tea. Like, coffee, you drink it, you aren't sleepy. Booze, you drink it, you get shitfaced. Water, you drink it, you're hydrated. What's the point of tea?"

"It combines the hydration of water and the caffeine of tea," Molly points out.

"But it like, half-asses both of them," Beau complains. "But sure, yeah, this is good for tea, I guess."

Caleb fights the urge to roll his eyes. "If you do not like it, then you do not have to drink it," he says. "It is churlish to not appreciate Jester's hospitality."

"Yeah, whatever, man," Beau says, rolling her eyes. "Jester knows it's not personal, right Jester?"

"It was actually pretty rude, Caleb is right," Jester says cheerfully. "But it's ok! You're my roommate and I forgive you."

"Yeah, exactly," Beau says. Caleb is impressed. He had thought  _he_ had a talent for putting his foot in his mouth, but Beau manages it and doesn't seem to even notice that she's done it.

"....Anyway," Molly says. "What were you saying earlier, Caleb? Nott was asking if someone had done something to you, and you said you've been alone for a while? What's that all about?"

"What is it to you?" Caleb asks, allowing his hostility towards Molly to creep into his voice. "How is this any of your business, Mr. Mollymauk?"

"Okay, hang on," Beau says, frowning. "You're Mollymauk, you're Caleb, and you're Nott, right?" When they all glare at her, she shrugs. "Sorry. I'm bad at names."

"It's not my business," Molly says lightly, turning back to him. "But you're my suitemate, and I figured we should get to know each other a bit better."

"Holy shit," Beau says, looking back and forth at them. "You guys live together? Wow,  _awkward."_

"What has happened in my life," Caleb says, enunciating every word clearly, "is  _none of your business,_ and I would appreciate it if you respected that, _danke."_

"I've been alone for a while!" Jester says, smiling brightly. "I was raised alone and basically I only ever got to talk to the Traveller!" 

They all look at her. It defuses the tension somewhat, Caleb has to admit. He feels Nott settle next to him slightly, and he follows her example, pointedly ignoring Molly.

"That sounds... bad?" Yasha says slowly, quietly, and Caleb notices she has one hand on Molly's shoulder, calming him or comforting him or holding him back, he can't tell. "Who is this traveller?"

"Okay, well, first of all, he's not a traveller, he's  _the_ Traveller, and he's the best god ever, and he taught me a bunch of things, and," and she continues; there's more that Caleb doesn't hear, too shocked at what Jester just said. Sure, Nott had mentioned she had slipped a pamphlet into Nott's bed, but that was plausible deniability. Jester was, right now, confessing to a  _deeply_ illegal belief, and to a bunch of people she had literally just met.

"Jester, stop," Molly says, and Caleb looks at him to see that his face is intense, pale under his purple skin. Jester stops whatever she was saying at that: his demeanor has changed entirely from his normal foolishness. "I know you haven't been in the Empire long, so I just want to make something  _very_ clear. You do not  _say_ that you worship an unapproved god. You do not  _tell people_ about this god. You  _especially_ do not tell complete strangers about this, because the rules here are horrible, and you  _will_ get hurt." He takes a deep breath. "Now, I've already forgotten what you just said, and I suggest that the rest of you do the same." He looks at each of them in turn, and they all nod. When his eyes meet Caleb's, they narrow, and Caleb feels his face match that resentment, nodding despite himself. Some part of him wonders if this is a test, if Molly really is some kind of hired Empire spy, checking to see if they're willing to turn in a traitor, but he dismisses the thought, seeing the fear and anger on Molly's face, his hands clenched white-knuckled in his lap, the fine drops of perspiration on his forehead. He doesn't think anyone is that good an actor. Molly looks up at Yasha, who is already nodding, and some of the tension drains from his face. "Right, then," he says, his voice dangerously pleasant. "What were we talking about, again?"

Jester looks upset to the point of tears, and Caleb steps in for her, trying to keep her from dwelling on Molly's ominous messages. "Ah- what are we all planning to major in, for now?" It's lame, but a safe topic. 

"Theater," Molly says immediately. "Maybe double major in visual art." 

"Undecided," Yasha says quietly. "Maybe literature?"

"Uh, probably economics," Beau says. "Boring, but it gets you a ton of money, and I'll probably drop out before that anyway."

"Chemistry," Caleb says quietly, and Nott echoes him.

"Visual art!" Jester says, sounding almost like her usual self. "And maybe writing, so I can write about- religion." She catches herself just in time, and Molly gives her a tiny nod. 

"Well!" he says. "All of you are welcome to visit me and Caleb any time- 209, Leakytap- but we really should be going. Fjord wants us."

"I am not going anywhere with you," Caleb says immediately.

"Yes, you are!" Molly says, glaring at him. "Fjord needs us."

"You didn't even check your phone," Caleb points out. "You are lying."

"I got the message earlier."

"You have not checked your phone this entire time."

"Before we got to the room."

"Bullshit."

"Enough!" Beau says before Mollymauk can respond. Caleb turns to see everyone looking at them awkwardly. "Look, guys, this is great and all, but it's the first day. Get your fucking shit together."

"I do not want-" Caleb starts, but Beau stand and tugs him to his feet.

"I don't give a shit. Go into our room and fix whatever it is that's making you two so..." she waves her hand generally. "Whatever makes you like this." She firmly shoves him into the room. Molly follows him and shuts the door behind him. Caleb ignores him, walking to the opposite side of the room and crossing his arms, pointedly examining the decor. Beau's side is all teals, a few posters of female wrestlers tacked haphazardly to the wall. Jester's is a nauseating shade of pink, boxes of candy sitting on the bookshelf, fluffy throw pillows. They are very dissimilar.

"So," Molly says, carefully so. "I think we got off on the wrong foot."

Caleb only glares at a stuffed plush toy on Jester's bed. His hands are getting hot, and he wipes them on his jeans, as if that'll help.

"I... I thought that you might be like me," Molly says, sounding very, very careful. "And then I thought you might be a spy. But I think you've proven yourself just now."

Caleb does look up at that, reluctantly. Molly looks... nervous. It's clear that he's being transparent, and Caleb takes a few deep breaths, forcing himself to calm down.

"How-" he begins, and cuts himself off. There's a moment of silence, and then he tries again. "How did you think that I could be like you?"

"I-" Molly says, and then cuts himself off with a strangled laugh. "The problem," he says, "is if I'm wrong, then you could get me in some  _serious_ trouble."

"And if you're right?"

"Then you're the second person like me that I've met."

"I have," Caleb says, trying to be very vague, "an... interesting talent? If that is something that helps."

"How interesting?" Molly asks.

"Some would call it unique."

He hears Molly exhale. "Well, isn't that odd?" he asks. "I have a unique talent too."

"And Dayana Prucine..."

"Does not approve of it. Very much so."

"She disapproves of mine as well." He's close, so close, to just showing Molly what he can do, end this tiptoeing around the truth. But if he's wrong, if Molly is not to be trusted, he could get in incredible trouble. And if Molly really doesn't know what he's talking about- well. Magic doesn't exist, shouldn't exist, and he doesn't want a shocked Molly spreading the word around that  _Caleb Widogast can hold fire in his hands, conjure it out of thin air, and it doesn't burn him._ So instead, he continues, "But- I, I do not know that I want to share that right now. A story for another day, perhaps."

"Perhaps," Molly agrees, the facade dropping back over his eyes. "I have to admit, it's- it's not an easy thing to discuss. But... but I would like us to be not enemies, at least. Fjord will kill me if I come back having pissed you off this badly." He offers his hand.

Caleb doesn't want to live across from someone thinking him to be an enemy, and it's only a handshake, after all- Caleb doesn't believe in the binding power of a handshake. He reaches out, shaking Molly's hand, and the tiefling looks concerned almost immediately.

"You're so warm," he says, looking at Caleb worriedly. "Are you feeling ok?" He reaches out with a hand for Caleb's forehead, and Caleb steps back instinctively.

" _Nein,"_ he says, shaking his head. "I do not like to be touched by- by strangers." 

Molly retracts his hand. "Sorry," he says. "Should have asked. You're feeling all right though? Not feverish? You weren't out in the sun, were you? No heatstroke?"

"I am fine," Caleb says, a little stiffly. " _Danke."_

"Right," Molly says, a little awkwardly. "First aid kit in our place, remember, I think we've got some fever medicine if you need any."

"I run warm," Caleb says quietly, walking towards the door to signal to Molly that the conversation is done. It's not true. He generally runs too cold, but when he's angry, or scared, or upset, and he loses control, he heats up. Push him too far past that, and...

Well. He's not thinking about that now. 

They re-enter the suite, and the quiet conversation that appears to have been taking place halts as everyone looks at them, and then pretends to not be looking, except for Beau.

"What's the deal?" she asks bluntly. "You guys chill?"

"Yep!" Molly says, all smiles and charm again. "Resolved our differences peacefully."

Beau, looking unconvinced, looks at Caleb, who nods awkwardly. "We have reached an agreement," he says.

"Cool," Beau says. "Now get out. Jester wants to do face masks and have some girl time, get to know each other." Caleb shoots Nott a glance, and she nods almost imperceptibly. She seems to have calmed slightly about Yasha. 

"All right," Caleb says. "Thank you, Jester, for the tea." And he leaves, hoping to leave before Molly finishes goodbyes, but to his horror, he spends a second too long glancing around for the door, and Molly catches up to him.

It's an awkward walk back to their dorm. Caleb doesn't speak to Molly, and Molly doesn't press him. When they enter the suite, Caleb immediately enters his room, almost tripping over his cat.

So. Molly might not be a spy.

He was still a prick.


	4. Chapter 4

Caleb is uneasy for the rest of the day. He avoids looking at Molly when their RA comes and introduces himself, lays down the rules, and hands Fjord a roommate contract. He flees back to the sanctuary of his room as quickly as possible, resolving not to go out again until he's calm, controlled, and entirely sure that he's not about to burst into flames. He lies down on his bed, takes some deep breaths, trying to meditate, and in the process accidentally falls asleep, waking several hours later. There are strange noises coming from outside his door, and cautiously, he opens it, slips out. For a second he thinks the suite is empty, and then he hears a morose sigh and looks down. Fjord, looking supremely uncomfortable, is sitting outside the door, looking at his phone and cringing at the noises coming from out of the door.

"Fjord?" Caleb asks, and Fjord looks up at him.

"Oh. Hey, Caleb."

"What is going on here?"

Fjord sighs. "We filled out the roommate contract, and the last question was how we felt about having guests over, and he asked me how I felt about him having... more than friendly company over, and I said, 'fine', and. He just said "excellent," picked up the roommate survey on his way out, and came back an hour later with those two." He jerks a thumb at the door, and Caleb's eyes widen.

" _Two?"_

"Yeah. They said I was welcome to watch, and I politely declined and got the hell out of there." There's a sudden outbreak of giggling, and Fjord covers his ears, cringing. "Oh gods, I can't tell who's giggling."

Caleb makes an impulse decision. "I tell you what, Fjord, why don't we go visit some friends of mine."

Fjord surges to his feet, relief in his eyes. "That sounds fuckin'  _excellent."_

Caleb pulls out his phone on the way back to Pillowtrove.

 

 **Caleb:** Just so you know, I am visiting again, and I am bringing a friend. Not Mollymauk.

 **Nott:** ok sounds good! I need to talk to you in private anyway.

 

They arrive outside the suite, and Caleb hears the sound of laughter and music. He turns to Fjord. "I feel I should warn you, the people there are a little bit odd."

"Hey, as long as they aren't all fuckin'."

Caleb nods and knocks on the door. Beau opens it and glares at him.

"Oh, it's you again."

"Hello, Beau." Caleb steps aside so she has a better view of his companion. "This is Fjord. He is Molly's roommate. We are here- well. I am here to talk to Nott, but we both would rather not be in our suite."

"Why, what's going on?" Beau asks, leaning against the door frame, and lazily raising one eyebrow.

"He has... brought company over," Caleb says, trying to be delicate.

Beau's eyes widen, and then she doubles over with laughter. "Holy  _shit,_ dude!" she wheezes. "He's sexiling you two on the  _first fucking day!"_ She laughs long and hard at this, and finally manages to get herself together enough to open the door all the way. "It's Caleb again, and some other dude!" she calls over her shoulder. "And Molly is  _already fucking someone_!"

"Two people," Fjord mutters, and Beau overhears and practically collapses on the floor howling. Jester pauses the music to look at her, concerned.

"Beau, are you okay?" she calls, and Beau manages to get herself back together. 

"Molly is having a  _threesome_ ," she explains. "It's like he's some sort of  _chaos being._ If this is the shit he pulls on the first day, I can't fucking wait to see what happens at the end of the semester."

Caleb remembers his manners, and tugs Fjord into the room. "Oh, uh, everyone, this is Fjord," he says lamely. "My other suitemate." 

There's a silence, and then Jester says, "Wow, he's  _super_ hot." 

" _...Ja,_ well, that is Jester. The tall one is Yasha, this one is Beau, and the goblin is Nott." He looks sidelong at Fjord, but Fjord doesn't seem to be upset about the goblin. Rather, he's still flustered by Jester's remark.

"Hello, Fjord," Yasha says uncertainly.

"Why don't you come sit down and tell us all about yourself?" Jester chirps, and Fjord casts a pleading look at Caleb, who looks at Nott instead.

"Oh, yes!" Nott says. "You can have my chair, Fjord, and Caleb and I are going to go sit in a room together for... for  _very non-suspicious reasons!"_  She stands up and scampers into her room, and Caleb, wincing, looks at the others and says, "Really, the reasons are not suspicious." He follows her and shuts the door.

It's very obviously Nott and Yasha's room. Yasha's side is barren of most decoration, similar to Caleb's room, but he notices a bunch of dried flowers on her desk, and there are some other small touches that suggest that Yasha is a fan of some of the softer things.

Nott's side is.. to be honest, very tacky. Nott is a fan of shiny and sparkly things- and is, in fact, partial to taking them by illegal means whenever the opportunity presents itself- and it shows in her decor: sequined mermaid pillows, bead necklaces, rhinestones. On the desk is a glitter spill and some shards of broken glass, and looking at the shelf above the desk, Caleb sees several jars of glitter in various colors. Evidently Nott had an accident- probably startled by someone or something, if he knows Nott right. The one plain thing on her side of the room is a cork board, and Caleb glances at it and feels a wave of emotion as he recognizes the photos that she's pinned to it: every single one is of the two of them together at school.

"What's Mollymauk's problem?" Nott asks, almost immediately after the door shuts behind him. "Is he trying to, I don't know, spy on you? Spy on  _us?_ Do I need to do something to him?" 

" _Nein,"_ Caleb says hastily. He thought Nott was joking the first time she had offered to harm someone on his behalf, but she carried a knife at all times and was deadly serious about using it. "He is... puzzling. I think he may be like us. Like Astrid, or Eodwulf."

She gapes at him. "What? What did he do?"

"So far, nothing, but he.... he hinted at it. I haven't asked further in case he is spying on me. In any case, I think you, at least, should stay far away from him, just in case he is a spy. And Nott," he turns serious. "I know you are, ah, unused to living with others. I want you to promise me you won't reveal anything to your roommate. She is Mollymauk's friend, after all."

"I'm not stupid," Nott says. "I promise, Caleb. But... promise me you won't do anything in front of Mollymauk, please. I don't trust him. If he brings it up, and proves that he can... do something, then you can tell him. But not until then. Promise me that in return?"

" _Ja,"_ Caleb says, a little reluctantly. Part of him had been hoping to get it over with and tell Mollymauk everything, consequences be damned, but he had to admit that Nott had a point. 

"Is that it, then?" Nott asks. "Everything else okay? This... Fjord, does he seem like a spy?"

"It is possible," Caleb admits reluctantly. He's been thinking along the same lines, to be honest. There's no way Prucine would allow  _three_ people with magic powers they weren't supposed to have live together unsupervised. Either Molly or Fjord has to be a rat. He says as much to Nott, who nods.

"Don't do anything unless you're in your room, alone," she says. "And don't do anything in there until I have a chance to search for cameras, or microphones, or- I don't know, smoke detectors? Any kind of trap."

"I already looked," Caleb says. "I found nothing."

"That's nice," Nott says. "I'll come over after dinner tonight to look." 

Caleb sighs, but he has to admit that Nott has much more practice finding and destroying surveillance devices than he does. Changing the subject, he points to the glass and glitter mess and says, "What happened there?"

"Yasha came in while I was putting it up there, and I screamed and dropped it," Nott says, frowning at it. 

"Be careful cleaning it up,  _ja?_ You might cut yourself."

Nott shrugs. "Or, I could just..." she glares at it intently, and the whole mess slowly lifts off the table and drops itself neatly into the garbage can. Caleb glares at her. "I thought we agreed to be more careful," he says, trying for a stern look. "Yasha could have walked in."

"Sorry, Caleb," Nott says. "But it's clean now." She smiles nervously up at him, the same smile she always gives him when he lectures her- about stealing, getting in fights, doing anything dangerous. He gives in.

"It is fine. Just be more careful,  _ja?"_

"I will," she says. "Do you like the room? And... the pictures?"

"I love them,  _ja,_ " Caleb says, smiling reluctantly. "I wish I had some to put in my room, I did not think to get any decorations." 

Nott goes to the board and picks off three, handing them to him, and then opens a drawer and rummages for a second, pulling out some tape. When he begins to protest, she says, "I can always print more." She raises her eyebrow as if daring him to argue. He doesn't, and takes them, murmuring,  _"Danke,_ Nott." He stows them in his backpack, thankful that he's gotten in the habit of bringing a bag with him.

"We should probably go join the others," Caleb says regretfully. "It feels odd to have us conspiring in here when they are all out there."

"I suppose so," Nott says, looking at him out of the corner of her eye. "And also, I think they are fun. Nice, even."

Caleb bites back a pang of fear. He and Nott havebeen a pair for a while now, and it's intimidating to imagine her starting to hang out with a new group of friends, maybe leaving him, Caleb, behind. "That is good," he says, trying to keep his voice casual. 

"Caleb," she says, taking his hand. "I'm not going to just  _forget_ about you. Just- we can make more friends, together. More people to watch our backs."

Caleb forces himself to relax, and nods, reaching for the door handle. Nott squeezes his hand as they walk out, and Fjord looks at them and chokes on his words mid-sentence.

"What?" Caleb asks defensively.

"Nothing!" Fjord says. "I just... didn't realize you two were together."

"They literally went into a room for no discernible reason together, dude," Beau says. "Pretty obvious."

"What- no!" Nott splutters. "Caleb could do  _so much better_ than me!"

"Besides," Caleb chimes in, equally outraged, "Nott is  _family!_ It would be like- like dating my..." he struggles for the word in Common, and finishes, " _sister!"_ just as Nott says "Mother!" He looks at her, aghast. 

"That is just as bad!" he says. "Nott, I am  _older than you!"_

"I'm a mom friend!" she retorts. "Age has no meaning!"

Fjord looks much more relaxed now than he did before, Caleb notices. He changes the subject. "So, have you learned all about Fjord now?" he asks Jester hastily.  "Oh, yeah," Jester says enthusiastically. "And he's really cool, Caleb, did you know he's lived on boats all his life, he even lived in a house boat-"

"Really?" someone asks from the door. "That being the case, I would have assumed you were well-acquainted with seamen, Fjord." It's Molly, of course, shirtless, his coat tied around his waist. Caleb can't tell if he's wearing shorts under it. He gets the feeling he doesn't even want to know. "I'm surprised you left that hastily."

"Molly?" Fjord says, and he's back to horrified. "What the fuck are you doin' here?"

"My dear friend Yasha texted me and told me we were back to partying over here," Molly says, looking supremely smug. "I brought refreshments." He places a plate on the table. It's heaped with fruit.

"Where.... did you get all of this?" Beau asks suspiciously.

"So many questions," Molly says airily, and everyone exchanges a look that very clearly says,  _you had all better not touch that._

They break for dinner half an hour later, and then it's back to their dorms for icebreakers. Caleb mostly looks at the floor and ignores everyone as much as possible. Fjord keeps him company, to an extent. Molly is in the middle of every activity, laughing, charming, flirting, and Caleb looks at him with great distrust. Finally, finally, everyone is sent to bed before meeting with their advisors the next day, but Caleb stays up a few hours later on his laptop, Frumpkin curled in the hollow at the back of his knees. His anxiety won't let him fall asleep, a low, baseline buzz that causes him to check campus security alerts again and again, terrified that there will be a report of a suspicious-looking person stalking the residence halls. He calms slowly, very slowly, and he puts his laptop away and closes his eyes.

He's almost asleep when a frenzied pounding on his door wakes him, and his heart immediately races. He keeps a hand behind his back, ready to create a fireball, and he calls, "Who is it?"

"It's me. It's Mollymauk," Molly says, and there's panic in his voice. "There's something wrong with Fjord, I don't know what- come quick." 

Caleb opens the door to find Fjord gasping and coughing, a puddle of fluid on the ground around and in front of him. There's a strange smell in the air, not the usual smell of vomit. Caleb thinks for a second before recognizing it as brine, salt water. He kneels by Fjord, careful not to touch the puddle.

"Fjord, can you breathe? What happened?"

Fjord coughs for a few seconds longer before gasping, "Yeah, I'm fine- shit." He resumes coughing, and Caleb looks up at Molly, panicking. He knows nothing about first aid. He's about to go for the RA when Fjord grabs his arm. 

"No," he wheezes. "I don't want anyone knowing about this, yeah?"

Caleb hesitates, but Fjord stops coughing, and he settles uneasily back into his crouch. "What happened?" he asks, trying to keep his voice calm.

"Dunno," Fjord says. "Maybe something at dinner disagreed with me? I feel fine now, though." 

Molly is kneeling by the puddle, and his face betrays his confusion. "Fjord," he says, hesitating, very unlike him, "this is  _salt water._ Like, from the ocean."

"Nah," Fjord says. Molly shrugs, takes a bit on his finger and tastes it. Caleb cringes. "Molly, that's so gross," Fjord says.

"Nope," Molly says, wiping his finger on his coat. He still hasn't gotten into any kind of pajamas. "That's definitely salt water. And you were coughing, it's like..." An odd expression settles over his face. "It's like you were drowning in your sleep, but that's... impossible." His eyes dart to Caleb, and there's a moment where the two of them look, wide eyed, at each other.

"Yeah, no, must just be some weird medical thing," Fjord says. "I'm gonna go get cleaned up and go back to sleep. Sorry to worry you." It's a clear dismissal, and Caleb is suddenly exhausted in the aftermath of his absolute panic. He trudges back into his room, locks the door, climbs into bed, and falls asleep almost immediately.


	5. Chapter 5

For a moment, when Caleb wakes up, he panics, not entirely knowing where he is. The light hits his face at the wrong angle, a different angle from the past six months or so, wakes him up far before when he expects to. He considers going back to sleep, but he feels rested, and besides, Frumpkin is stirring at the foot of his bed, making small, startled noises. He leans over, rubs his cat's ears, smiling at him as the cat yawns and blinks slowly at him.

" _Guten Morgen,_ my friend," he murmurs softly. "What shall we do today?"

Frumpkin only begins to wash himself, and Caleb nods. "A shower would be good," he says, as if the cat had responded. "Especially now, since nobody else is awake." He guesses the time is about six thirty or so, and truthfully nobody has anything to do until the afternoon. He grabs his shower shoes, toiletries, and his towel, and goes to shower. It feels good, there is plenty of hot water, and it's nice to take a chance to have some time alone. By the time he's finished, he feels much more relaxed and much more awake. He even hums a little tune as he opens the door.

That stops when he sees Mollymauk lounging on one of the sofas. "There you are," he says, and Caleb immediately feels himself starting to tense. "I was wondering if you were still asleep. We need to talk about what happened last night." Caleb nods, heading for his room, and Molly swivels to face him. "I mean now, Caleb."

"Mollymauk, I am  _naked_ right now. I am only wearing a towel."

Molly looks blankly at him. "So?"

Caleb rolls his eyes and lets himself into his room. He's starting to get an idea that Molly is unused to boundaries, and that's... not great. Caleb likes having boundaries. He quickly dries off and changes into his normal clothes: plain, faded T-shirt and jeans. He mixes it up with ratty hoodies in the fall. He grabs his phone and checks to see if there's anything new and pressing. The only thing he sees is a text from Molly from last night.

 

 **Molly:** yooooo we really need to talk about fjord

 

He sighs and opens the door. "Why don't we talk in here," he says reluctantly. If they're talking about Fjord, he really doesn't want the half-orc overhearing.

"Good plan," Molly says. "Wait, hang on." He pulls out a lime-green stack of post-it-notes and a pen, scribbles something on it, and sticks it on the inside of the suite door. Caleb squints. In almost illegible handwriting, it reads, "talking in Caleb's room if you need me" under it, he's drawn a heart. It's very Mollymauk. 

"So," Molly says."Last night. That was seawater, Caleb, I know that for sure. The question is, how the fuck is Fjord getting it in his lungs in the middle of the night?"

"I do not know," Caleb says. "Perhaps it is a side effect of living on a boat?" It sounds stupid as he says it out loud, and Molly looks at him, exasperated.

"Right," he says sardonically. "In his sleep, my roommate tapped into the secret well of ocean water he keeps in his chest and spat it out all over the suite on his way to the bathroom."

"All right then, Mr. Mollymauk, what is your explanation?" Caleb hisses.

"I don't know," Molly says reluctantly. He looks up at Caleb and hesitated. "It's... unusual to the point of being almost unique, wouldn't you say?"

" _Ja?"_

Molly chews on his lip. "I got an email from Dayana Prucine," he says, avoiding eye contact. "It suggested that she was keeping an eye on me, but also that... I was in the company of others like me."

"I received a similar email," Caleb says.

"Which raises the theory," Molly says, looking steadfastly at Frumpkin, "that there is one other person like me in this suite, and one spy."

"I had the same thought," Caleb says.

"Right," Molly says, and one of his hands goes to his face, running his fingers absentmindedly across his tattoo. It's a nervous tic, and Caleb memorizes it, adds it to his growing file of information on Molly. "And, given our conversation the other day, I had, maybe naively, assumed you were... well. Not trustworthy, no offense-"

"None taken."

"But you weren't actively looking for reasons to get me in trouble," Molly says. He finally meets Caleb's eyes, and his face is hard. "But if Fjord is doing something impossible, I have to wonder, Caleb Widogast, if you are fucking with me."

Caleb meets his eyes, glaring back at him. "And I have equal reason to believe you are, ah, fucking with  _me."_

It's tense, for a moment, and Molly finally speaks. "And if, you know, you have any kind of  _proof-"_

" _Nein,"_ Caleb says immediately. This reeks of a trap, meant to test if he would show off his power to anyone who asked for it. "I cannot do that for you, Mollymauk."

"Right," Molly says, standing suddenly. "I suppose that clears some things up, at least." He gives Caleb a very unfriendly smile, and Caleb longs, for a second, to summon fire just to wipe that smile off his face. He clenches his hands into fists and shoves them into his pockets. He settles for meeting Molly's eyes directly, glaring at them, and is about to say something to Molly, ask him what he's being  _offered for this,_ but there's a knock on the door and Fjord calls, "Hey, y'all still in here?"

They exchange a split second look, mutually agreeing not to start a scene in front of Fjord, and Molly opens the door, a smile appearing on his face as if by magic.  _Theater kid._

"Fjord!" he says, grinning broadly and kissing his roommate on the cheek. "Are you feeling better, sweetheart?"

"Uh, yeah," Fjord says, sounding awkward. "Look, I, uh. Gotta come clean about something."

"Now?" Molly says, and his eyes dart quickly, almost unconsciously at Caleb. "I think I should know before Caleb does. I mean, I  _am_ your roomie, and he's been ignoring us all summer."

"Nah, this concerns the both of you," Fjord says. Molly protests again, but Fjord says, "Molly, can you shut up for once?" and Molly does, but sends a look in Caleb's direction that very clearly says,  _if you fuck up what I'm planning I will murder you and feed your body to wild dogs._

"Yeah, so, uh.. aw hell," Fjord says, and sneezes. "Shit, ok, I'll make this fast. Uh, y'all seem like fine, upstanding people, and I have to admit, I was plannin' on keeping this close to my chest, but,"

"Fjord," Molly interrupts again, "Whatever you say next, I would strongly advise you to reconsider."

"I'm trying to tell you something important, Molly, I thought about it all night, can you  _please just shut up._ So, uh, I guess they had me down in their books as some kinda rule-abiding quiet kid- got good grades, worked in my family business, had a good recommendation letter, the works, and uh... I got an email from some Dayana Prucine before I got here- _Ow!_ " He swears, suddenly, closing his eyes and wiping at them violently. "What the fuck?"

"You're obviously sick," Molly says instantly, attempting to tug him up. "You need to go to bed, or the health office, or-"

"Molly, can you cut this shit?" Fjord says, raising his voice. He wipes at his eyes, blinking rapidly. "What the  _fuck?"_

"Fjord, are you-"

"Both of y'all shut up, okay? Let a man finish his sentence. So, I got an email from some Prucine, and she says that she's concerned about the pair of you. Says she wants me to keep an eye on you, make sure you aren't doin' anything unusual, and if I notice anything weird, shoot her an email. And, uh." He runs a hand through his hair, looking embarrassed. "She said it'd go towards my scholarship if I caught you."

"Oh," Molly says, sitting down abruptly. He looks a mixture of confused and upset, like a man who has just been mugged by someone wielding a water pistol. "You- what?"

"Yeah. Uh, I kind of... thought y'all might be dicks, honestly. But you seemed nice, and," he blinks, wiping at his eyes. Caleb notices, detachedly, that there are a few drops of blood trickling down his face. "Well. Last night, you were so concerned for my wellbeing, and I ain't a snitch on folks who don't deserve it. And I just wanted to get that out into the open, and I want to promise y'all that I'm not gonna rat you out."

"You... are spying on us?" Caleb asks.

"No," Molly says suddenly, shaking his head, his jewelry jingling gently. "No, you coughed out all that ocean shit, you're not a spy."

Fjord looks at him, mystified. "The fuck does that have to do with- Gods, Molly, what happened to your neck?"

Molly's hand flies to his neck, over the tattoo. "Bug bite," he says. "Must have scratched too hard."

"More importantly," Caleb says, "What's wrong with your eyes?"

"No idea," Fjord says, wiping his face. "I went blind and my eyes stung." He glances at his fingers and does a double take when he sees the blood. " _What the fuck?"_

 _"Ja,_ we are taking you to the health office."

"No!" Molly blurts out, and Fjord and Caleb turn to stare at him.

"You were just saying," Caleb says, "that you thought Fjord needed to go there."

"Yeah, but..." Molly trails off. "You know what? Maybe it's a good idea, but I think you should rinse your eyes first. The blood is a bit... dramatic, and if you got some chemical in your eyes..."

"Yeah," Fjord says. "You know what? Sure." 

"I'll go with him," Caleb says. "In case he goes blind again. Don't want him to lose the way."

"Yeah," Molly says. "Yeah, sounds good." He takes a deep breath, and suddenly the smile reappears. "You know what? I'm going to go see Yasha. Or, better yet, invite her here. She still hasn't seen my room." He leaves quickly, and Caleb looks at Fjord and shrugs. 

"I think he's just a bit unsettled," he says.

He escorts Fjord to the bathroom and then to the health office without incident, and sits in the lobby for about an hour before Fjord is allowed to see someone, playing mindless games on his phone to settle his anxiety. He's reeling a little bit from the events of the morning. He had been so sure that Molly was a traitor, and then Fjord had just... confessed to it? No poking, no prying, just felt like he had to say it. Strange. He gets the sense that Fjord is a decent person. He likes Fjord, he decides. He might not trust Fjord, but he likes him, and definitely respects him.

Fjord emerges half an hour after he's called in, rubbing at his eyes.

"How did it go?" Caleb asks, rising.

"Weird," Fjord says. "She looked, but there's no obvious wounds or trauma, and I don't think she believed me about the blood. She said maybe it happened because I sneezed too hard, but I think she was just tryin' to appease me."

"They're not doing anything?"

Fjord snorts. "They gave me these eye drops, but I'm gonna be honest, Caleb, I'm never gonna use them."

"Odd," Caleb says, suddenly struck by an idea. "Next time, we will take a photo then,  _ja?"_

Fjord sighs. "Probably would assume I was playing with stage makeup."

They walk in silence for a while, and then Fjord says, "Listen, Caleb, I meant it. I'm not gonna tell anyone about anything that happens in the suite."

"I believe you," Caleb says. He doesn't really mean it. He looks up at Fjord, squinting uncertainly up at the taller man. "But... you really don't know what happened with the water?"

Fjord is silent for a second, and then says, "Caleb, do you believe in any superstitious shit?"

"That is a heavy question," Caleb says, avoiding the question. "I suppose it depends on what you talk about."

"This is gonna sound really stupid," Fjord says, chuckling a little bit. "You're going to think it's stupid."

"Try me," Caleb says.

"Well," Fjord says, and then stops. "I mean, it's not really something I think means anything, but..."

"Just tell me."

"I had a pretty weird dream," Fjord says. "I dreamed that I was drowning, and there was something watching me."

"Is that it?" Caleb asks, feeling a little disappointed.

"I mean, yeah."

"I think that makes sense," Caleb says. "Like when you hear a sound while you wake up, and it is in your dream."

"Yeah," Fjord says, looking uncertain. "I dunno, Caleb, it was a lot more... vivid than dreams normally are." He shakes his head. "Listen to me. I sound like some kind of superstitious old grandma." They've reached Leakytap, and Fjord courteously holds the door open. Caleb thanks him and steps inside.

"Well, it is a curiosity," he says. "Let me know if anything else interesting happens,  _ja?"_

Fjord smiles. "I think it'll be pretty obvious if I cough out salt water again, yeah?"

"I suppose."

By the time they get close to the door, they hear voices and laughter. Caleb gingerly opens the door to find that Jester, Nott, Yasha, and Beau have joined them. They're all huddled around the coffee table, and when Jester sees Caleb, she squeals- actually, properly squeals- and runs up and hugs him.

"I heard that you went to go take Fjord to the health office, Caleb that's so  _nice,_ I can't believe you did that," and she whirls to glare at Molly, "and I can't believe that his own roommate didn't do that!"

"I was busy," Molly said unabashedly. "Besides, Caleb has a much better sickbed manner." He's got an arm slung around Yasha's shoulders.

"Anyway, so we saved some breakfast for you so you don't have to go all the way to the dining hall," Jester says, shooting him a final glare. She points to the table, where there's a Tupperware full of scrambled eggs, a Tupperware with pancakes, and some chipped purple dinnerware.

"Oh shit, right!" Beau says, standing. "Hold up, I have some bacon." She removes ten strips from pockets in her cargo pants and sits down, tossing them onto a napkin. "There you go."

"I am  _not_ eating pocket bacon," Caleb says fervently. Fjord nods in agreement. 

"Cool," Beau says, grabbing a piece and tearing in. Nott joins her, and Caleb winces. 

"I think I'll just wait for lunch," he says. He's never really been one for breakfast anyway.

They spend most of the day drifting in and out of the room, breaking off to talk to their advisors, get lunch, do errands. The dishware turns out to be Molly's, and he pulls out more plates when Yasha and Beau return from obtaining lunch for all of them. It's a nice environment, and it doesn't go unnoticed by anybody that Jester is flirting with an embarrassed Fjord, and Beau is trying and failing to flirt with the oblivious Yasha, much to Molly's delight. The RA kicks the girls out at around three, telling them to go bond with their own dorm, and Caleb is relieved to have some quiet. He stands to go up to his room, and sees that, under his door deck, there's a lime green post-it-note with a doodle of a cat and the word "Frumpkin" in Molly's nearly illegible handwriting.

"You see that?" He asks Frumpkin softly as he enters. "You are my official roommate now."

He spends the rest of the day quietly, looking for courses that he and his advisor agreed on, napping, researching Fjord's symptoms. He's not very surprised to find that "coughing up seawater" and "bleeding from eyes that leaves no damage" isn't really a common problem. He has his own suspicions about the latter, though, and after dinner (being dragged along to dinner with his hall is one of the most excruciating experiences of his life), he musters his courage and messages Molly.

 

 **Caleb:** Can you come to my room for a while? I think we have some things to discuss.

 

Thirty seconds later, there's a knock on the door, and he lets Molly in. Molly sits on his chair, straddling it and sitting backwards. Caleb remains seated on the bed. There's a moment of awkward silence before Molly says, "I suppose you're expecting an apology?"

"What?"

"I made some assumptions that were wrong," Molly says. "And to be fair, I think you made some about me. Call it even?"

"That's not what I wanted to talk to you about," Caleb says shaking his head. "But fine, we are even. No, I wanted to talk about Fjord again."

"You're obsessed," Molly says, shaking his head. He reaches up and touches the tattoo on his face. He's nervous. "Should I expect him to spend the night here soon?" He winks. It's very overblown.

"Mollymauk, I... I have my own suspicions about what happened this morning."

"Oh?"

"It seems a little too convenient that an excuse to hustle Fjord out of the room of someone you believe means him harm appears just when you wanted it," he says, looking meaningfully at Molly. "And that he bleeds from his eyes, and you from your neck at the same time." He pauses. Molly says nothing. "You said you had some unique talent. Is this... part of it?"

"Ah, you would have figured it out sooner or later," Molly says, sighing. "Yeah, it was me."

There are a billion questions in Caleb's mind. He settles for, "You can blind people?"

"Yeah, I can blind people. I can do a lot, but all of it involves..." he trails off.

"Blood?"

"The scars make it a bit obvious, huh?" He chuckles. "I can do a little bit without having to draw my own blood, like blinding people, but in order to do anything interesting, I have to. Well. You can probably imagine why I'm not too keen to do a lot of that."

Caleb nods. 

"I can do magic," Molly says unnecessarily, looking at Caleb. "I just told you I can do what is, essentially, magic, and you didn't even react."

"I think we are long past that,  _nein?"_

"Still nice to know for sure. What's your thing?"

Caleb hesitates. It's on the tip of his tongue, but he doesn't know how Molly will react. Fire is dangerous, and he can imagine that "I set things on fire sometimes by accident" is not exactly what Molly is looking for in a suitemate. "It's... private," he says carefully.

"C'mon, dish. I told you mine, fair is fair."

"I figured yours out," Caleb corrects. "If you figure mine out, then it is fair."

"You're the worst," Molly complains, but his eyes are alight with the prospect of a new challenge. "Fine then, I'll just have to figure it out, then, won't I?" He stands and stretches.

"One more thing," Caleb says. "You said earlier that I was the second person you knew who could do things."

Molly freezes mid-stretch. "Yeah?"

"Who was it?"

"I think that's something  _I_ would like to keep private," Molly says. Caleb has a guess, but he decides to wait on it, gather evidence, see what comes up.

"Fair enough," he says.

"Goodnight, Caleb."

"Goodnight, Mollymauk."


	6. Chapter 6

Caleb spends much of the next few days in denial about a lot of things.

For one thing, he tries resolutely to convince himself that he and Nott are  _not_ a part of the rapidly forming group that meets regularly in their suites. For the most part, it's Molly, Jester, Fjord, Nott, Jester, Yasha, and Beau, and he's either dragged along to Pillowtrove, complaining half-heartedly, or teased out of his room. Occasionally, they're joined by some of the people Jester drags along to meet them all; Calianna, Keg, Nila become semi-regulars, coming and hanging out for a few minutes before leaving. As orientation week draws to a close, he has to admit that they're part of the group, if only because he finds himself coming up with excuses for why he is going out with them instead of studying or reading.

For another, he tries to tell himself that he's going to avoid Molly. Even knowing that Molly is like him, he doesn't trust the tiefling as far as he could throw him, and he's probably the weakest member of their little group. (Beau, of course, is on the gymnastics team, and has, apparently, black belts in three different martial arts, and hopes to become an MMA fighter or pro wrestler; Yasha and Fjord have both joined the fencing team and spot each other weightlifting in the mornings; Jester is obscenely strong, for no discernible reason he's been able to find, unless she's been sneaking out and breaking into the gym in the middle of the night, although he wouldn't put it past her; Molly is lithe and wiry, and Caleb's seen him pick up a foil and hold his own against Fjord; and, well. Nott isn't strong, but she's beaten him in enough arm wrestling competitions that he knows full well who is stronger.) Nevertheless, Molly is incredibly, relentlessly friendly, and loves Frumpkin, and those two things together means that Caleb often finds himself huddled on his bed, poring over a book, resolutely trying to ignore Molly's presence as the tiefling plays with his cat. Molly peppers him with questions, during those times, about his powers, his past, his family. Caleb ignores the questions or says single-syllable answers. When they get too painful, he shoos Molly out, and Molly, to his credit, never tries to hang back.

But most importantly, he tells himself that he is not going to play around with fire. His room has been given the go-ahead by Nott, and that? that is dangerous. Knowing that he can conjure flame at his fingertips without being detected is alluring. He can ignore the temptation for a while by telling himself that he will not be responsible for another accident, until part of his brain whispers to him that the only way to prevent an accident is to keep practicing, keep it under control. So, every night, at around 11, Caleb looks guiltily around, double checks that his door is closed and his blinds are drawn, and then sits for half an hour watching fire dance across his fingertips. He doesn't create any flames larger than a golf ball- too afraid- but he finds himself, as always, mesmerized by the dancing flames. There's an incident, one night, where he forgets himself for a second, staring into the flames, and when he snaps back to reality, both of his hands are flaming. He quickly puts it out, heart racing, and does not sleep well that night.  _Next time,_ he tells himself,  _next time I will be more careful._ He doesn't even bother to pretend there won't be a next time.

The last day of orientation week, there are no activities planned, no seminars the freshmen have to attend. Caleb wakes up to the other students moving back in, and is immediately unsettled. He dresses quickly and texts Nott.

 

 **Caleb:** I was thinking we could go look at the used bookstore I saw on the ride up here today, avoid all the noise.

 **Nott:** ooh yes that's a great idea! hang on let's bring the others though

 **Nott:** unless you don't want them? or you just want it to be the two of us again.

 **Caleb:** _Nein, nein,_ they can come along. Besides, safety in numbers,  _ja?_ I have not heard much about Zadash, but for all I know it is rife with crime.

 

A few seconds later, a new chat window opens.

 

**Nott created a group.**

**Nott renamed the group "Bookstore Trip!"**

**Nott:** Cay and I were thinking of going to look at a used bookstore and we were wondering if any of you wanted to join us!!

 **Jester:** oooh shopping trip!! I'm so down ;)

**Nott renamed the group "Multipurpose shopping trip!"**

**Fjord:** sorry guys, already got plans :/

 **Jester:** noooooooooooo ;-;

**Jester set Fjord's nickname to "Party Pooper".**

**Party Pooper:** sorry jester. some other time, huh?

 **Beau:** come on dude what's more important than spending time with your friends?

 **Party Pooper:** I was gonna go talk to a teacher about placing me in English 118 because I have AP credit

 **Mollymauk:** hoo boy fjord you do not want to do that I heard the teacher is shit

 **Party Pooper:** ok ok let me check on rate my prof

**Mollymauk set his nickname to "Prettyboi".**

**Party Pooper:** ok yeah it specifically says that he favors elves and humans and is a total dick to tieflings and half orcs I think that ain't happenin

 **Party Pooper:** guess I'm free

**Prettyboi set Party Pooper's nickname to "Partyboi".**

**Prettyboi set Nott's nickname to "Sneakyboi".**

**Prettyboi set Jester's nickname to "Sweetboi".**

**Prettyboi set Yasha's nickname to "Strongboi".**

**Prettyboi set Beau's nickname to "Grumpyboi".**

**Prettyboi set Caleb's nickname to "Quietboi".**

**Prettyboi renamed the group "the bois are back in town"**

**Grumpyboi:** why

**Quietboi set his nickname to "Caleb".**

**Prettyboi set Caleb's nickname to "Quietboi"**

**Prettyboi:** come on get with the program we need a cohesive groupchat nickname theme to begin with at least

 **Prettyboi:** you need to wait before you can change them though and it HAS to be funny

 **Sweetboi:** yes!!!! finally someone who understands

 **Prettyboi:** <3

 **Sweetboi:** <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

 **Sneakyboi:**...anyway meet up at the dining hall at nine?

 

Caleb quickly mutes the chat as people begin spamming, and goes to get some breakfast before they head out.

It's a nice day, and everyone is chattering excitedly as they head out. Jester is insistent that they stop at the first candy store they pass, so they stop and wait outside, not wanting to crowd the store. She re-emerges with candy apples, which she passes out excitedly. Caleb tries to push his back into her hand, but she steadfastly refuses, saying, "Caleb, I have so much money from my mom, and like, you're really skinny and you need to gain weight to be healthy, and they're really good," and he finally succumbs to peer pressure and takes a bite. It's good, but he's never been a huge fan of candied apples. He feels unpleasantly sticky when they finish, and suspects he will continue to feel that way until he gets the chance to wash his face.

Molly and Jester window shop as they walk along a row of boutiques and consignment stores next to the bookstore, and Caleb, seeing that everyone else is interested, murmurs an excuse and slips away.

He'd rather be in the book shop by himself, anyway. Caleb loves books, and he loves bookstores, but he especially loves used bookstores. He always hopes, however vainly, that he'll find some book that explains why he can do what he does, somewhere in the muddle of books, forgotten about until now. He hasn't had any luck so far, but that doesn't mean that he won't in the future.

Sadly, at his cursory inspection of the store, there doesn't seem to be much more than a lot of science fiction. He sighs, promising himself he'll come back and look for something interesting later, when he has more time, and leaves the store to find that Jester and Molly are each holding shopping bags from the same boutique. When she sees him, Jester all but sprints up to him.

"Ca-leb..." she sings. "Hold out your wrist."

"Hold out my- what are you doing?"

"Just do it!" she says impatiently, and he obeys nervously. She whips something out quickly and ties it around his wrist. He pulls it back to examine it. It's a knotted string, red and yellow beads braided into brown thread.

"It's a friendship bracelet!" Jester says. "I got one for all of us, so we can all match!" She holds up her own wrist, a pink and blue bracelet around it.

"Ah. How do you... take it off?"

"You don't," Fjord says. "It's supposed to remind you of your friendship or whatever." His is green and black, Caleb notices; Beau's is teal and black, Yasha's is grey, black, and white, Molly's is gold and purple, and Nott's is green, yellow, and brown.

"That is... kind of you," Caleb says to Jester. "Thank you."

"Yeah, it's great," Molly says. "And Jester and I got matching blouses!" He trades a smile with Jester.

"What about you, Caleb?" Nott asks. "Find anything... good?" 

"Nothing of any interest, unless I want to reread Dune again," Caleb says. "I think we are done here."

"Oh, can we go through the woods?" Yasha asks. When they look at her, she shrugs. "I like nature. And there might be wildflowers."

"It's a little out of the way," Fjord starts, but Molly interrupts. 

"We aren't in any hurry, are we?" he says reasonably. "We can go for a hike and then go back."

"Well, okay, but you should have told us before, because I'm going to get my shoes all muddy, but that's all right, Yasha," Jester says. "I'll race you!" And she darts down the street.

The woods are on the outskirts of the city, a large plot of preserved woodland riddled with hiking trails. They end up taking a bus there. Caleb sits next to Nott and stares out the window at everything racing by. Zadash is lovely, to be truthful.

The trail is wide, paved with wood chips, until Molly decides that it's too boring and urges them onto a smaller trail. This one is more narrow, rocky, marked with occasional blue blazes. Caleb falls to the rear of the pack, Nott with him.

"So how are you doing, Caleb?" she asks, a little out of breath. 

"Everything is going as well as can be hoped," Caleb says, narrowly avoiding twisting his ankle on a rock.

"Are you... happy?"

Caleb thinks about this, and is still considering it when he walks into Beau.

"Ow!" he says, glaring at her. "What is wrong with you?"

"Dude, shut up!" Beau says. "Something's up ahead."

Caleb stands on his tiptoes to look over her shoulder. There's a huddled mass on the ground. It looks almost like a stray dog, but it's very still. The wind blows towards them, and Caleb catches a familiar smell, rot and chemicals, and for a second, he's dizzy with panic, and then Molly leans down and picks up a stick, advancing towards it, and Caleb calls out softly, " _Mollymauk, stop."_

They all look at him, and he whispers, "I have seen creatures like this before, they are... unnatural, they... we should go back." They edge past him, and he stands stock still, letting them fall behind him. He takes a step forward, and Jester whispers softly, "Caleb, I don't know..."

"I just need to see," he whispers. "Make sure." He takes another step forward, and the thing looks up, moves in an unnatural jerky manner, and Caleb knows instantly that he's right, that this is Eodwulf's doing, and he stumbles backwards as the thing rushes him. It's fast, faster than he expects, and he screams as its jaws clamp down on his leg. Almost immediately, he and the wolf- it's a wolf, some part of his brain whispers distantly- are engulfed in a raging inferno. The wolf crumbles to ash easily as the fire consumes it, and he's left with bleeding puncture wounds in his leg filled with an unsavory mixture of ash and dust. He cries out in pain again, and over that, he hears Nott's reedy voice calling, "Caleb,  _stop!"_

He pushes the fear and pain back, struggles, extinguishes the flames around him. The underbrush is still smoking, and Beau stamps it out as Nott rushes up to him, eyes terrified.

"Oh gods, your leg, we need to call an ambulance," she babbles, and then Yasha kneels beside him, a water bottle in her hand, and pours it on his leg. He cries out again, trying to twitch away and she lays a hand on his leg, says, "Sorry, sorry, I just need to-" and then her hands glow white, and the pain fades. Caleb watches in amazement as the wounds heal themselves. Yasha pulls away when she's done, murmurs, "Sorry," again and steps away. Caleb pokes at his leg, fascinated, and then looks back at her. "No,  _danke-_ thank you, Yasha."

"What the fuck is happening?" Beau asks, stepping away from the no longer smoking underbrush. "It bit you, and then just... boom?"

"Yeah, Caleb, what the shit?" Fjord asks. "And- wait, why is your leg fine now?"

"Don't be silly, everyone, it's just magic," Jester says nonchalantly.

They all look at her, her absurd calmness, and she shrugs. "The Traveler told me all about it, and I have it."

"Magic isn't real," Fjord says slowly, shaking his head.

"Yeah, I guess I believe you," Beau says, chuckling a little at the absurdity. "What, Fjord, don't look at me that way, you saw what I just saw."

"If we're doing confessions," Molly says, looking a little pale, "I can do weird blood rituals. And Fjord, I blinded you earlier."

"You- what?"

"I can do it again if you need proof."

"No, no, it's fine!" Fjord says hastily. "Just... it's a lot to take in." He whistles softly. "Okay, so let me get this straight. Molly can do some crazy ass shit with... blood? Yasha can do some weird healing thing, Caleb turns into a Molotov cocktail. Jester, what can you do?"

"I can do a lot!" Jester says proudly. "The Traveller taught me allllll about everything, and by the way, Caleb, you really need to get much better at controlling yourself if you still use it by accident, it's a really bad habit. I can make people see things and hear things that aren't real," she says, almost as an afterthought.

That's terrifying, and they all stare at her for a second. She smiles, and for a second there's two of her, and then the double disappears. "Like that."

"Okay," Fjord says. "Anyone else? Beau?"

"Nah, man, I just punch shit real good," she says.

"I can move things with my mind," Nott volunteers tentatively.

Fjord wheels on her. "You too? What the  _hell?"_

"All right, short version, magic is real, we're not supposed to use it, if you tell people what happened today we're all going to jail," Molly says bluntly. "Now, if we could get back to campus before some concerned citizen finds us here in the middle of a fucking crater?"

The bus ride back is very awkward. Caleb wipes the soot from himself as best as he can, with the aid of a nearby stream, but there's nothing he can do about the bloodstained holes in his jeans. Molly breezily explains to a nearby concerned passenger that they're shooting a video for a web series. Caleb rolls up his cuff to prove there are no wounds, and, satisfied, she turns back to her phone. They all relax a bit at that. They all pile into the Leakytap suite, and Caleb heads for the shower, but not before Molly stops him, looking tired.

"We need to talk," he says bluntly. "All of us. Team meeting, no more bullshit."

"All right," Caleb says, and pulls his arm from Molly's grasp. He heads for the shower, and takes a long time washing soot from his hair, his skin, under his nails. He stays in for a while longer, and then a bit after that, until he has to admit that he's procrastinating. He wraps up in a towel and rushes past the rest of the party, pulling on a fresh shirt and his only other pair of pants. He supposes he'll have to get a new pair of jeans. He sighs. No use prolonging the inevitable.

He takes a deep breath and opens the door.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look for all we know eodwulf can do necromancy next question


	7. Chapter 7

There's an awkward silence as Caleb sits. Everyone looks at him, and he suddenly wishes he could bring Frumpkin with him to soothe his nerves. He hears Jester's voice, and instinctively looks at her, but her lips aren't moving, and he realizes she's causing him to... hallucinate? her voice. It's an odd experience.

"Caleb, we're all going to- well, the people who have magic are going to meet up after this later, but for now we really just need to explain this whole thing to Beau and Fjord so they won't turn us in, so just hang tight okay? Love you!"

"So," Fjord says, breaking what must have sounded like silence to everyone else. "Anyone want to, uh, start off, or..."

Nobody responds.

"I think," Molly volunteers after 30 seconds pass, "it'll be easier if you just ask questions and we can answer them."

"Okay," Fjord says. "So what's the deal with this? Some kind of secret society teachin' secret lost arts or something?"

"It is nothing learned like that," Caleb says. "More of just... something we were born with. At least, for me." He looks around at everyone else for confirmation, and they nod.

"And how long did y'all know about each other? Did you decide to meet up because you all knew about each other, and Beau and I just got added into the mix by accident?" Fjord asks.

" _Nein,_ we... I had no idea," Caleb says. "Or at least, I knew about Nott because we were friends, and I found out about Mollymauk the day you told us your secret, Fjord."

"What secret?" Beau asks. 

"Some woman called Dayana Prucine emailed me, asked me to say if I saw Caleb or Molly doin' anything unusual," Fjord says, and then his eyes widen. "Oh, was she..."

"Yeah, she wanted you to tell us if you saw us playing with our abilities," Molly says, a bitter smile on his face. "Like I said, we could get into some serious shit if you told on us."

"I don't plan to," Fjord hastens to reassure him. "Just want to know what the deal is, figure out what needs doing."

Jester, Nott, Yasha, Molly, and Caleb all relax slightly at that.

"Me either," Beau says. "Snitches get stitches, man. So wait, Caleb knew about Nott and then Molly, and that was it?"

"I knew about Yasha," Molly says. "And she knew about me." He curls further into her embrace. 

"Okay," Beau says. "And Jester?"

"Didn't know anybody but the Traveller!" Jester says, smiling hugely. "I'm so excited, you guys, I've never had the chance to talk to other people like me!"

"We should not talk about it," Caleb says. "They do not want us to tell other people, or, or practice, or do anything of that nature."

"Hang on," Fjord says slowly. "If Prucine got someone to watch the two of y'all, she must have someone watching the three of you, yeah?" His eyes settle suspiciously on Beau, who sits upright.

"Hey, man, I'd never do anything like that," she says angrily. "And if she had any sense, she wouldn't have put me near them, since I'm pretty sure everything on my transcript reads 'shitty troublemaking washout.' "

"If I may interrupt," Caleb says, slowly, "I am not entirely sure that Prucine knew."

They all look at him, Nott nodding, and Caleb explains, "I was careful, before, but I got reckless, wanted to play with my power a bit too much, got mixed up in the wrong crowd. Nott here was very smart and avoided attention, stayed in the shadows, and I made sure not to tell anyone about her. I am almost certain that Prucine doesn't know."

"Yeah, she came and interviewed me after they got Caleb," Nott says. "Asked me if he had said anything or showed me anything. I told them I had no idea what they were talking about, and they seemed pretty satisfied."

"I never had anyone to tell," Jester says, sounding a little sad. "And besides, I'm from the Menagerie Coast, I'm just here for college until things settle down at home."

"They don't know about Yasha," Molly says, sounding confident. 

"So it was just coincidence that all three of you guys were in the same suite?" Fjord asks skeptically. 

"Or they put all the freaks and weirdos in a suite together," Beau says. "Or all the people they thought were freaks."

"What do you mean?" Yasha asks. She doesn't seem as offended as Caleb would have been.

"Well," Beau says, and points to herself, "high school fuck-up, sent here as a last resort." Her finger moves to Nott. "Goblin- Sorry, Nott-"

"No offense taken," Nott says softly. Caleb knows that stings, and his heart aches for her. He has to fight not to snap at Beau, but Beau continues, moving on to Jester.

"Foreign tiefling."

"I got into trouble at home, too," Jester says, beaming.

"Unsurprising," Beau says, moving her finger to rest on Yasha. "And like, super hot, super tall, foreign, from a land that we're getting pretty hostile with."

"I take your point," Molly says. "Also, please don't hit on Yasha when we're having a serious conversation."

"So she doesn't know," Fjord says, slowly.

"And we aren't going to tell her," Beau says, gazing steadily at him. "Right, Fjord?"

"Right." Fjord scratches his head, then asks, "But wait. How did y'all know? I mean, I get that for Caleb, he sets himself on fire by accident when he's upset, apparently, but the rest of you, I don't see how you'd figure it out by accident." He pauses, then narrows his eyes. "And wait, how did your parents deal with a flaming toddler?"

"They did not," Caleb says. "First of all, I am a foster kid, so," he shrugs.

"Oh. Sorry, Caleb."

"It does not matter that much. Second of all, it really only started happening when I was, oh, 15 or so."

"I had it when I was 13," Nott said quietly.

"I had mine since I was 8," Jester says proudly. "And that's when the Traveller appeared, and was like, 'oh you've got magic and I'll show you how to use it and play tricks on people,' and we did, and it was very funny."

"I was 16," Yasha says when everyone turns to look expectantly at her.

"And I was 12," Molly says, and Caleb notes that he's running his fingers along his tattoo again unconsciously. He's lying.

"So there's no real pattern," Fjord says slowly. "Weird."

"You're telling me," Molly says. "Are we done here?"

"I guess," Fjord says slowly. "Except... how did you all figure out you were like this?"

"You just kind of know," Nott says.

"Like, know as in suddenly realize, or you know from birth?"

"You feel something," Yasha says. She taps the area under her ribs, approximately around her solar plexus. "Here."

Caleb has never thought about it, but looking back, he realizes she's right: the waves of heat start there, and he instinctively touches the spot. Nott does the same, and Jester copies them. 

"Weird," Beau says. Fjord nods.

"If that's it, I want to go talk to Caleb about how to not set himself on fire every time he gets upset," Jester says cheerily. "I'm going to our suite, okay?" 

"I'll come with you," Molly says immediately. "And so will Yasha."

"I'm going with Caleb," Nott says.

"I'll come along too," Beau says, and Jester's face falls.

"Hey. Uh, Beau? I think they want some private time for this," Fjord says, and Caleb sees a flash of hurt on Beau's face before she says, "Oh. Yeah, cool. I guess I'll just go chill with Fjord, then."

He suspects that Beau resents being left out of the loop, and he mentions it to Jester as they walk briskly towards Pillowtrove. Jester sighs. "Yeah, I know, but I want us all to be able to talk and share secrets and things, and I think she'd feel more awkward if she came with us anyway, you know? Besides, I'll make it up to her tonight. We're going to go and have a last party in our suite and paint each other's nails, and I got a bunch of candy for us, and it'll be super great."

Yasha unlocks the suite door and holds it open for them. They all file in, and Caleb has to choose whether to sit next to Jester or Molly. He chooses Molly, probably the lesser of two evils, and settles down reluctantly.

"Ok, so," Jester says, "I think I'm in charge of the meeting because I know the most about using magic."

"Can we not call it magic?" Caleb asks. "It makes us sound like we are all seedy magicians performing at a toddler's birthday party."

"What would you prefer?" Molly asks sarcastically. "Powers? Abilities? Are those any better? Cause to me, they're just more confusing."

"We're calling it magic, because it's magic," Jester says decisively. "Anyway, I think we should go around and discuss our powers and what we know, and how we discovered them and all that."

Caleb honestly cannot think of anything he would less rather do.

"I'll start," Jester says, beaming. "Okay, so I'm Jester, and I can make people see things and hear things that aren't real, like I showed all of you, and it's super cool, and I figured it out because the Traveller told me to try, so I did on one of my mom's customers, and she walked into a wall and it was really funny and it made the Traveller happy, so I kept working on it with him and now I'm really good at controlling it."

"That's horrifying," Molly says. Caleb has to agree. "Please promise me you'll never use that on me."

"I promise I'll never do it to harm you," she says, smiling brightly. "But like, what if I want to talk to you like I did before? It's really useful."

"I do not want you poking around in my head," Caleb says, terrified. "Period."

"I can't see anything in your head," Jester says, rolling her eyes. "I can just show you things."

Caleb feels relief washing over him. "Then you may use it to send me a message," he says, a little reluctantly. "But nothing more, understand?"

"Fiiiiine," Jester says. "Okay, Nott, it's your turn!"

"Do I have to?"

"Yes!"

"Okay, well," Nott says, stammering. "I can, I can move things without touching them, and-"

"I want to see!" Jester says, clapping her hands together. Nott looks at Caleb for permission, and Caleb gives her a  _you do what you want_ look.

"Hang on," Molly says, getting up and closing the blinds. The room descends into the warm glow of the electric light, and Nott stares intently at Jester's purse. It moves, rising into the air about five feet, wobbling slightly before dropping. Jester applauds vigorously. "That's so cool!"

"Yeah," Nott says, looking embarrassed. "Anyway, it's... it's not very interesting, it's just that I can do that. And I first figured it out when I was bored in detention with Caleb."

"Can you lift two things at once?" Molly asks, interested.

"No, I have to focus on it," Nott says. "And it's not like a force, it's like... I don't know, it feels like I've got another hand, kind of? An invisible one. And the heavier things are, the harder it is to lift."

Molly looks like he's about to make a dirty joke, but thinks twice about it.

"Yasha?" Jester sings.

"I can heal things," Yasha says. "That's about it."

"And you figured it out when...." Jester prompts.

"I don't know, Molly got hurt and I just kind of... did it." 

"Okay," Jester says, sounding deflated. "How much can you heal?"

"I don't know? The most I ever did was that bite."

Everyone looks expectantly at Molly.

"All right, so, this is a bit weird," Molly says. "But I'm not really entirely sure what my power would be called, except that it needs my blood as some kind of catalyst."

"What does that mean?" Nott asks, wrinkling her nose.

"If I concentrate, I can blind someone, and we both bleed. If I draw blood with a weapon, I can make it... I don't know, really cold, kind of, and it hurts people more. And I can use my blood to make something glow." He pulls out a knife, and says, "I can show you if you want?"

There's a collective tensing, and then everyone chimes in with their own negative answer. Molly shrugs and puts it away. "It's ok if you want a demonstration, I'm actually pretty used to it."

"How did you learn how to use it?" Jester asks. 

"I forget," Molly says lightly. 

"How did you forget?"

"I don't know, doesn't seem important," Molly says. He turns to Caleb expectantly. "Your turn."

Caleb freezes, panicking.

"Right," he says. "Well, er... I can create fire. And I did it by accident at school one time." 

"That's it?" Jester says. "Can you control the fire once you've created it?"

"Sometimes? If it is small."

"So maybe you can control big ones with practice," Yasha says quietly.

"Maybe? But I do not want to practice, it is dangerous-"

"It's more dangerous if you don't practice and set everything on fire when you have a nightmare," Molly says, and there's something sharp in his voice. "At least this way, we've got people watching out.

"I think," Jester says, "we should start, like, kind of a club. Like, we practice every weekend in the suite. It'll be super fun, and that way we can make sure everything is safe."

"That sounds good," Yasha says. "I don't know if I can actually practice, though."

"Have you forgotten what me practicing involves?" Molly asks, hand sliding towards his knife. "I'm sure there will be a lot of healing involved if I want to look presentable. Which, by the way, I do."

"Oh, you don't have to-" Jester says. Molly smiles at her. "Really, Jester, I don't mind, and we should all be practicing."

"That is fucked up," Caleb says, shaking his head, "But okay."

"And you and Nott will join?" Molly asks.

"I do not think we have much of a choice," Caleb says reluctantly. Besides, it will be good to not have to worry about setting his paper on fire if he gets to stressed by it.

"Great!" Jester says, standing up. "Then let's get started."

They push the couches and chairs to one side, creating a large, open space. Jester immediately goes to Caleb, and it's a logical decision, he knows. He's both probably the most untrained and the one who's most dangerous if untrained. He resents it slightly, even despite this logic.

"Okay, so how have you been controlling it?"

"The usual way," he says, flushing. "Meditation, deep breathing when I get upset, all that."

"Caleb, no offense, but that totally won't help," Jester says nonchalantly. "I mean, I guess it'll help because you aren't upset, but it's not really getting the solution at the source, you know what I mean? Like, you can be upset without using your magic."

"Please don't call it magic," Caleb murmurs, noticing Jester's purse start to float again out of the corner of his eye. He really hopes there's nothing delicate in there. He can tell it's going to be a long day.

By the time they finish, two hours later, Caleb thinks he's at least grasped the concept of what he's supposed to be doing. Jester is a patient teacher, explaining to him that he just needs to learn what it feels like just before he uses his powers and stop it before it happens. She swears it becomes unconscious after a time. 

"It's like potty training," she says helpfully as they clean up. "It's something you need to learn, but then it's automatic."

"Great," Caleb says, rubbing his eyes exhaustedly. "So I am a toddler."

"You are a magic little toddler!" Jester confirms. "Now let's go have dinner."

It's totally different than what Ikathon taught him, Caleb thinks that night as he lies in bed. He was expecting practicing with his ability to be unbearably painful, but it's actually so different from Ikathon's usual methods that it feels different, not at all terrifying. He takes a deep breath, and then another, and is half asleep when his phone pings.

 

 **Molly:** hey you up?

 **Caleb:** I was about to fall asleep. What do you want?

 **Molly:** nothing, jeez

 **Molly:** just want to make you feel better so shut up I'm being nice and genuine and it's hard

 **Molly:** in some ways I'm a total beginner in this too

 **Molly:** I used to know a whole lot about how to do it apparently, but I forgot all of it

 **Molly:** but apparently the whole control thing stayed with me I guess

 **Molly:** much like potty training, actually. good metaphor jester!

 **Caleb:** How do you just  _forget_ things like that?

 **Molly:** long story 

 **Molly:** anyway just know that I'm just as freaked out by a lot of this shit as you are 

 **Molly:** and I'm grateful that you're taking a lot of the heat instead of me

 **Molly:** no pun intended

 **Caleb:** You know we have class tomorrow, right?

 **Molly:** yeah so

 **Caleb:** Goodnight, Mollymauk.

 

It does make Caleb feel better, in a way, to know that he's not the only one totally blindsided by this. Nott is a beginner as well, but she's always managed to keep her abilities in check, and she seems to be advancing rapidly. By the time they broke for dinner, she had been able to hold up the purse for nearly three minutes before she lost focus and it dropped to the ground.

 _Next time,_ Caleb thinks. It's a familiar thought, one he's been trying to push back, but this time he allows himself to actually admit that he's thinking it, for the first time since Ikathon.  _I will do better next time._

 


	8. Chapter 8

Caleb takes a while to wake up that morning, with a niggling sense that something is wrong playing in his mind. He groggily stares at his clock, letting his mind wander until finally it settles on what it is. He sits bolt upright as it hits him, his heart starting to hammer.

He had forgotten about the wolf- Eodwulf's wolf. 

Frumpkin makes an inquiring noise and sniffs at his hand. It trembles as he slowly pets the cat. How the fuck had something of Eodwulf's been found  _here,_ of all places? Last he had heard, they had still been looking for him and Astrid and Ikathon. And if Eodwulf was here...

Caleb has to fight the overwhelming urge to just cut and run, pack most of his stuff back up and just disappear. It would violate the terms of his agreement with Prucine, of course, but when has he ever played by the rules.

There's a knock on the door, and for a moment Caleb feels nothing but white-hot terror. But then Molly calls out from beyond the door, "Hey, Caleb, we're all going to breakfast together, so get your ass moving!" He hums softly as he walks away.

Caleb shakily releases a breath and fumbles for his phone.

 

 **Caleb:** Nott, I forgot that it was one of Eodwulf's creatures that attacked me. What do I do???

 **Nott:** I didn't forget about it. We were all talking about it while you showered, and honestly, Caleb are you sure it just wasn't rabid, or hurt or something? It looked like a regular wolf to everyone.

 **Caleb:** I am positive. It... smells the way Eodwulf's creations always do. And it moved in the same way.

 **Nott:** ok then, what's the plan??

 **Caleb:** I have not decided yet, that's why I am asking you. I have to admit that I am thinking of leaving the University and hoping for the best.

 **Nott:** no!!!!!!!!

 **Nott:** or rather, it's your choice Caleb but I think we should stay!!

 **Caleb:** If Eodwulf is here, Astrid and Ikathon might be as well. I do not stand a chance against them, Nott.

 **Nott:** I know!! that's why we should stay, Caleb!! we've got all the others to protect us. much better chance than if we face them alone.

 **Caleb:** I suppose you are right.

 

His heart eases a little at that. It's true, of course, that when it comes down to the wire, the others might cut and run, but something tells him that they, naively perhaps, consider him to be a friend. And Jester, at least, seems like someone who would defend him. Nott, of course, will stay with him until the end. Molly and Yasha are unknowns, but might go with the flow, especially if they attack Jester or Fjord or someone that they like better. It just means that Caleb needs to make sure to stay with the group.

He gets dressed then, carefully and quietly, slipping into garments, and it's only then that Caleb notices that he didn't set the sheets on fire during his panic. His lips curl upward in a small smile.  _Progress._

Molly and Fjord are already waiting in the suite when he returns from brushing his teeth, and Molly makes an impatient sound. Caleb darts into his room, grabs his bag, and reemerges in a second. 

"Well then," Fjord says. "Everyone ready to go? Didn't forget your keys, or your computer, or something to take notes, or..."

"Quit being such a mom friend, Fjord," Molly says. 

"Just checking, Molly, no need to be rude."

They reach the dining hall to find that the girls have already gotten food and found seats for them all. They've even saved seats, and Caleb passes Nott's bag back to her before setting his own in the same space and going to get food. When he returns, Beau is lecturing Jester about her food choices.

"Seriously, dude, you need to eat something other than like. Sugar and carbs. I don't think I've seen you eat anything except for like, candy and bread and pastries."

"I drink milk, though," Jester says.

"That's not- actually, you know what? This is none of my business."

"You really should be eating better, Jester," Fjord says, looking up from his hash browns. "You know, some veggies or meat probably wouldn't kill you."

"Ooooh, Fjord," Jester sighs, batting her eyelashes. It's all very overblown. "You really care about me, huh?"

"No!" Fjord says, flushing faintly. "I mean- yeah, but..." he looks around helplessly.

"Smooth," Beau says. "Real smooth."

Jester snorts. "Like you've been so subtle flirting with Yasha?"

Beau blushes at that, avoiding eye contact with Yasha. "That's not- I mean, I just..." She doesn't finish the sentence. Caleb almost chokes on a bite of bagel.

"Can you even date someone in the same suite as you?" Molly wonders aloud. "I mean, you aren't supposed to date your roommate, and I'd imagine it's the same kind of situation with a suitemate." He looks significantly at Beau, who looks murderous, and Caleb feels a sudden, inexplicable need to defend her. Maybe it's just that Mollymauk is such a pest.

"I don't know," he says. "It seems to me that it is no more awkward than dating someone in the same friend group. I mean, at least with a suitemate, you can mostly avoid them."

"Exactly," Beau says, still bright red. "What he said."

"What about you, Caleb?" Jester asks flirtatiously. "Have you found anyone you're interested in? Do you want me to set you up with someone? I'm sure that Cali-"

"I am not interested right now, Jester," Caleb says, trying to avoid eye contact with everyone at the table as they snigger quietly. 

"Okay," Jester says, in a tone that Caleb interprets to mean she'll bring this up later. 

They all split up, reluctantly, Molly and Jester to go back to their suites before their other classes, and everyone else to go to their first classes of the day. Caleb and Nott share a chemistry class. It's nostalgic, really, sitting next to Nott and listening to the lecturer drone on. They've covered most of this stuff in AP chem already, and Caleb takes the time to scan through the seats and people watch. Cali is sitting across the hall, and her eyes meet his for a second, and she waves vigorously. He gives her a brief, pained smile, and looks away. Eye contact is hard for Caleb.

The lecturer finishes with a joke. It's not a particularly good one, but he tells them he'll work on it for Wednesday. After chem, he has a break for lunch, where he and Nott eat quietly, not talking. They split up when Caleb has to leave for calc, where, to his surprise, he meets Yasha. She gives him a friendly nod and pulls out a chair next to him. They don't speak the entire time, and Caleb has to admit that, even by his standards, this feels awkward.

They leave together for the freshman seminar. Jester runs up to him and throws her arms around Caleb when she sees him. "Oh my gods, I missed you guys _so much-"_ she releases him and grabs for Yasha. "I haven't seen anyone except for Molly since breakfast!" 

"I'm hurt," Molly says, a few feet away. "I'm not good enough company, Jester?"

"No, you're lovely and wonderful," Jester says immediately, and Molly preens. "But I miss everyone all the time! You guys are all so nice and cool, and I'm so glad I actually have friends!" She sees Fjord, and, a wicked smile on her face, skips towards him. Caleb looks away as a small hand touches his leg, and sees Nott standing next to him.

" _Hallo,_ Nott," he says, smiling down at her. "Good first day?"

She shrugs a little bit. "Only goblin in class all day. But, Caleb, I'm really glad we're here!" She hastens to reassure him.

He sighs. "Do I need to do something about them?"

"No, they'll settle down," she says, looking tired. "Honestly, I just can't wait to go back to the room so I can drink some booze and relax."

Caleb winces. Nott's drinking has always been a bit of a sore subject for him. He doesn't mind that she drinks- he does mind the  _amount_ that she drinks, despite her claims that goblin livers are stronger than human ones. "Go easy,  _ja?"_

"Of course!" she says unconvincingly. Caleb doesn't press it.

The lecture goes about as well as Caleb expects it to. It's boring, and Jester and Molly sit next to each other and pass notes and giggle, drawing the professor's ire towards the seven of them in the back row. Caleb and Nott sit together and pass notes, and don't get caught. They've had plenty of practice. Fjord sits stiffly on the edge, darting looks towards Jester when he thinks she isn't looking. Caleb makes a mental note to ask Fjord about Jester. He's just curious. 

They all split up after that, some people to go to class, others to go study. Caleb is done for the day, and spends the time before dinner wrestling through his calc homework. He's never been especially great at calc, but he manages, and by the time Molly hammers on his door, he's finished it and is browsing through campus security alerts again.

"Caleb!" Molly yells through the door. "Hurry up! I've got auditions in an hour and a half so we need to be fast, okay?" 

Caleb groans as Molly continues to pound on his door. He stands up and yanks it open. Molly smiles at him. "Evening, Caleb."

"Do you have to be so loud?"

"Yes." Molly looks at him, frowning. "What's wrong with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, you just seem... anxious."

"I have anxiety, Mollymauk," Caleb points out.

"If you say so. Just... look, you know you can talk to us if you're upset, right?"

Fjord, thankfully, walks in before Caleb can be expected to say something to that.

"Fjord!" Molly says. "Drop your bag off, we're going to dinner."

Dinner is a lively affair, with Molly chattering nervously about his audition song, and the musical he's auditioning for, and what parts he wants to get. Caleb mostly tunes it out, focusing on eating, and mulling over what Molly said. He's not going to tell his friends his entire history, that would be ridiculous. But surely there is some merit to putting them on guard?

He forces himself to say, "May I interject?"

"Anything to distract me," Molly says immediately. He's actually, properly nervous: he hasn't even touched most of his food. Caleb sighs. "Molly, you need to eat if you are going to be successful."

Everyone looks at him oddly, including Molly, and Caleb blinks. "What?"

"I think that's the first time you've actually called me Molly," Molly says, picking up a roll and taking a bite.

"Oh. Does it matter?" Caleb asks, a little impatient.

"No, no," Molly says. "Just a little weird that you've been calling me my full name this whole time, to be honest with you."

"Anyway," Caleb says, glaring at him, "I was going to... to warn all of you, that, that I think some people might be looking for me."

"What does that even fucking mean?" Beau asks, pushing vegetables around on her plate idly.

"I... There are some people, from my past, who are stalking me," Caleb says. "And in regards to the wolf, I think one, at least, may be here."

"The wolf was probably just rabid," Molly says. "And that probably would have gone away when Yasha..." he trails off, looking around to make sure nobody is listening. "When she did her thing."

"No," Caleb says. "It's hard to explain, but it's the work of... of one of these people."

"Why are they after you?" Fjord asks.

"I.... I do not want to go into it. It is a very painful memory," Caleb says.

Molly sighs. "If we're going into this, I think there might be some people looking for me, too." When they all start to ask questions, Molly cuts them off. "I don't know for sure, and I don't know who they are. Just... just I have my suspicions."

"Okay," Jester says. "Okay, well, why don't you describe the people, and that way if we see them we can hide you or something?"

Caleb nods, reluctantly. "There's a man, late seventies, long white hair but a bald spot. There's a young man our age, brown hair, pale skin, blue eyes, about as tall as me. And then there's a woman our age, blonde, blue eyes, pale skin." 

"That's not super descriptive," Molly notes.

Caleb winces. "I'll send some pictures in the group chat," he says. 

They break off shortly after that. Caleb is still mulling over Molly's confession when he gets back to the suite, Fjord following behind.

"Would you like to study together?" Caleb asks. "You said you might need help with the lecture."

"Thanks, Caleb," Fjord says, yawning hugely. "Might study in the suite for a while, but I'll ask when I need help, yeah? I want to see if I can figure it out myself."

Caleb busies himself with his laptop, looking for photos. It's easy to find a photo of Ikathon, but he has to find yearbook pictures for Eodwulf and Astrid. It takes him the better part of an hour, and when he looks up, Fjord has fallen asleep. Caleb debates waking him up, but decides that he should give Fjord some time, at least, to sleep. He sends the picture, stretches, and is about to leave for his room when he glances at Fjord and sees a trickle of blood dribbling from the side of his mouth. He rushes over and shakes Fjord. He's no medical expert, but in his experience, bleeding generally indicates something has gone horribly wrong. 

Fjord wakes slowly, batting Caleb's hands away. "Caleb, what- something wrong?"

"You are bleeding," Caleb says, pointing to his mouth. "From here. Are you- are you all right?"

"Yeah," Fjord says, wiping at his mouth and looking down. "Yeah, I- I must have just bitten my cheek when I was asleep, or something."

Caleb glances down at him. "Another dream?"

"No," Fjord says, looking away. It doesn't take an expert to realize that it's a lie. "Anyway, I'm gonna go study at my desk now, yeah? Someplace where I can't fall asleep so easy. Goodnight, Caleb."

"Goodnight, Fjord," Caleb says, not taking his eyes off the half-orc. Even after Fjord disappears into his room, Caleb stays standing there, thinking.


	9. Chapter 9

Molly comes in about 45 minutes later. Caleb is back on his computer, working on his lecture notes.

"How did it go?" he asks. He's not sure if that's what you're supposed to say after an audition, but it's all he can think of. Molly raises his eyebrows.

"Careful, Caleb. Keep this up and I'll start thinking you're being friendly."

"I am trying," Caleb says curtly. "How did it go?"

"Eh, half the people there were super flat," Molly says, yawning. "I think I did pretty well, but they aren't going to give a freshman any really good parts, let's be honest. Theater is about favoritism."

"Okay," Caleb says. There's a brief silence, and then Molly sits on the couch opposite him.

"Listen," he says, and there's a softer edge to his voice than Caleb isn't used to.  "I... appreciate you trying to be friendly. I think we got off on the wrong foot, yeah?"

"Do you mean when I ignored you for several months after you reached out or when you thought I was a spy trying to out you to Prucine?"

"Yeah, we didn't start off so well, did we?"

"I am not a friendly person," Caleb says softly.

"Nott likes you."

"Nott is... different," Caleb whispers. "A special case."

"Doesn't have to be the only one," Molly says, shrugging. "Look, all I'm saying is that, if you ever want someone to talk to, about... well, you've got three people after you. I'm going to go ahead and assume there's some shit that's gone wrong in your past."

"And you don't?"

"Good question," Molly says ambiguously. Caleb sighs.

"Someday, Mr. Mollymauk, you will have to tell me about what happened in your past."

"Maybe someday," Molly says, standing up with a groan. "Not today, though. Buy me a drink, first."

"Wait," Caleb says as Molly turns to his door. Molly turns to look at him. "Keep an eye on Fjord. I think there is something he is not telling us."

"Wouldn't surprise me," Molly says. "I'll watch out for him."

"Goodnight, Molly," Caleb says.

"Night, Caleb."

* * *

The next week is more of the same. Caleb gradually begins to adjust to his schedule, and finds that college suits him much more than high school ever did. He's taking an introductory chem course, even though he probably could have placed out of it, and his workload is pretty light, except for calc. He has one history class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but it's dry, and mostly relies on rote memorization. Caleb has a photographic memory. He barely even needs to pay attention during the class. The one wild card is the freshman seminar, which requires them to write one paper a week. Caleb gets a B on his first one, handed back that Friday. He looks down the row and sees that Fjord and Yasha got As, he and Jester got Bs, Nott and Beau got a Cs. Molly has already stowed his by the time he looks, but he's crumpled it into a ball and thrown it in his bag, so it's not very difficult to assume he's not happy.

"Well, that was fun," he says when people start shuffling out. "What now? Throw a party?"

"Not tonight," Yasha says quietly. "Fencing club."

Molly sighs. "My sweet Yasha, you make my life very difficult."

"What about tomorrow?" Beau asks. "I'm free."

"What kind of party are we talking about?" Caleb asks nervously. "The big kind, where you have everyone and their friends attending, and it is very loud, or..."

"Nah," Molly says. "I'm thinking just us and some other friends. Cali, Keg, Nila?"

"Ah," Caleb says. It still sounds noisy and messy, but he's trying to foster relationships with this group. After all, if someone attacks him, they'll be more likely to defend him if he's likable. 

They break off after that, and Caleb goes to do his calc work. Amazingly, he's been staying on top of his work, not doing it at the last moment and stressing about it. He's finishing the last problem in the calc problem set when Molly enters the room.

"Oh," he says, seeing Caleb. "Hello, darling. Want a drink?" He holds up a brown paper bag, and Caleb frowns.

"Where did you get that?"

"Unimportant. Do you want some or not?"

"You aren't waiting until after dinner?"

"I suppose you're right," Molly says, sighing. "Don't want to make a scene in front of Jester."

"I do not think that Jester cares much, one way or another," Caleb mutters. Molly plops down on the sofa and leans back, looking exhausted.

"You are upset," Caleb says eventually.

Molly waves a hand. "It doesn't matter."

"Any reason in particular?"

"None at all!" Molly says, flashing him a bright smile. "Everything is going wonderfully here, don't you think? Good friend group, protection from our enemies, food, drink-" he waves the bottle, "and a lot of very pretty people walking around at all times."

"And your academics?" Caleb says carefully.

Molly's smile drops for a second, and then it's back on his face. "Yeah, those too, I guess," he says airily. "I'm doing very well in my theater and art classes, and music theory isn't too hard to pick up."

"Molly," Caleb says, closing his laptop, "I can't help but feel like... like you are concealing something here."

"Nope!" Molly says, standing and fumbling with his keys. Caleb hesitates and then says, "You are having trouble with the freshman seminar. The writing one."

Molly freezes, and Caleb knows he's guessed right.

"I suppose," Molly says, "you might say that."

"What is wrong?"

Molly sighs, sitting back down on the couch. He's silent, for a while, and then he says, "You know what? Screw it, I need to be drunk for this." He pulls a bottle of liquor out of the bag and unscrews the top, drinking what Caleb is sure is an inadvisable amount. He holds out the bottle to Caleb, who reluctantly, more to be polite than everything else, takes a sip. It burns in a very unpleasant way, and he coughs a few times, trying not to be obvious. Molly is smirking anyway.

"Never had alcohol before, huh?"

"Not like this," Caleb says. "I had some beer before, but, it's not the same."

"It isn't," Molly agrees, holding out his hand for the bottle. Caleb hands it to him, and Molly takes another swig, setting the bottle down on the table when he's done. 

"You said you wanted to say something?" Caleb prompts after a while. He's curious, he has to admit.

"I don't know that want is the right word," Molly says, smiling crookedly.

"You can tell me," Caleb says. "Whatever your story is, I can almost guarantee that mine is worse."

"All right," Molly says. "Well, there's no good way of saying this, but. I don't remember anything before, oh, two years ago."

Caleb has to bite back his questions. He's not sure that Molly would continue if he interrupted. Still, it's not something you hear every day.

"Yasha found me when she was out walking in the woods," Molly says. "My head was bashed in, and apparently I was... half buried by someone. Yasha healed me, but..." he taps his head. "My whole life, my memories? All gone. Apparently she kept trying to talk to me, but I just kept saying 'empty'." She took me to her dad, Gustav. Adopted dad, I guess I should say. He almost went to the police, but... well, let's just say he was up to some things that would have been nasty to be found. They took me in, gave me some clothes, and Yasha and some of her friends, they... they brought me back from the grave, honestly. I remembered how to talk, how to read, how to write, everything, all because they helped me. And that was enough, honestly." He shrugs and reaches for the bottle, and Caleb reaches out, pushing his hand away gently.

"Perhaps after you get some food in you, friend," he says.

"You're no fun," Molly grumbles, but he complies. "Anyway, once I'd remembered how to speak, Gustav asked me what my name was, and I didn't have a clue, so he made up a name. Mollymauk Tealeaf, M.T. Maybe a little bit ridiculous, but I like it, at least. But then, a few months ago, Yasha thought that maybe where I was buried, there was more stuff, and... and they found a coat. Decaying at that point, but there was a wallet. Couple hundred dollars in cash, bunch of fake IDs, and one that Gustav and I figured was real. Apparently the guy's name was Lucien."

"The guy who tried to kill you?" 

"No. The guy that used to have this body." Caleb must look as confused as he feels, because Molly leans in, a little unsteady, and hisses, "Whoever had this body before me? He's fucking dead and gone. Died in that grave. I'm Mollymauk, not Lucien, and..." he sighs. "Gustav tried to call me Lucien a few times, and I got in a fight with him. Walked out with the cash, went out and got this tattoo." He gestures at his body. "Something to distinguish me from that dickwad." He chuckles a bit, bitterly. "Suppose in the long run, it didn't help, cause I got arrested right after I walked out of the parlor, practically."

"Arrested?"

"I don't know about arrested," Molly amends. "Prucine's people got me, same as they got you, I'd guess. Apparently Lucien was one of their big targets. Went around using his- my- talent, made a lot of problems for them. Probably got hit when he was on the run, buried by one of his accomplices. He ran with a similar crowd."

"And they just let you go? After all of that?"

"I told them they must have the wrong guy," Molly says, grinning. "Told them I didn't remember any Lucien. Told them my name was Mollymauk Tealeaf, and that I'd lost all my memories. I didn't mention Yasha, though. Figured paying her and Gustav back with people knocking on their door would be a dick move. They didn't believe me for a while, but Lucien hadn't been active for two years, even though his old gang was, and they hooked me up to all kinds of lie detecting machines, I got interviewed a thousand times, and eventually they had to accept that I was a different person. This was the compromise between letting me go free and keeping me locked up, I guess."

"Same here," Caleb says absently. "Being watched by Fjord like a hawk, or so they thought."

"Yeah," Molly says. "So yeah, I don't remember anything. I have the reading comprehension of- of a middle schooler, to be perfectly frank about it. The writing seminar... it's hell. I'm going to flunk out within the semester." He buries his face in his hands.

"I could," Caleb begins, and then hesitates. What is he doing? He should be focusing on his own work, but... if Molly owes him a favor.... "I could help tutor you, if you want."

Molly laughs bitterly. "I don't think that'll do much, Caleb, but thanks for offering." He reaches for the bottle, but Caleb pulls it away.

" _Nein,_ I will not have you being kicked out," he says firmly. "Get out your notes, I want to go over what you're confused about."

Molly glares at him. "You can't make me smart," he says. "I'm 16 years behind you."

"Too bad," Caleb says firmly, opening your laptop. "Get out your notes."

Molly is not a good student. Every time Caleb asks him a question, he shrugs, looking away. His notes, or rather, what he considers to be notes, are complete gibberish, and rarely, if ever, have any important information. Molly himself seems determined that he not learn anything. He rolls his eyes at Caleb's suggestions, and Caleb, through some perverse instinct, finds that Molly's attitude, in particular, is what motivates him to push Molly. They work for a solid two hours, Molly sighing and moping, and Caleb patiently explaining mostly note-taking strategies. After all, he reasons, if Molly doesn't know how to learn, Molly won't ever learn anything.

Molly is in no shape to go to the dining hall either, so when Nott texts him "where are you??", Caleb simply asks her to bring over a couple plates of food. Jester, Beau, and Nott come through, bringing still-warm chicken and green beans. Molly pouts when they enter.

"He's torturing me," he says, looking dramatically at them. "He's been talking about bullet points for so long."

"Don't be a whiny little baby," Caleb says crossly.

"Ooh, are we doing homework?" Jester asks. She leans over to see Molly's notes, squinting to read his handwriting. "Can I join in too, pretty please? It's so boring to do the work by myself, and I only got a B."

"I failed," Molly says, sliding down on the sofa. Caleb has given up and been sitting next to him, and unsympathetically drags Molly back up.

"Dude, are you drunk?" Beau asks. She glances at Caleb. "You know he's totally not going to remember this, right?"

"I'm not  _that_ drunk," Molly says petulantly. "If only."

"I confiscated the booze," Caleb says. "Now will you please stop distracting him?"

He works through the first set of slides again, forcing Molly to redo all of his notes. Molly doesn't take it well.

"Can't I just take a photo of yours? Or just work off the slides?"

"Writing things down makes you remember better," Caleb says. He doesn't mention the photographic memory.

By the time Fjord and Yasha arrive, Molly's notes are back in his bag, and Jester and Beau are half asleep on the sofa opposite them.

"Are we done?" Molly asks hopefully. "Nothing else?"

"Do you know where to find the slides?"

Molly nods vigorously. "You did show me. Several times."

"Then I think we are done." He leans towards Molly. "But you need to study, you hear me?  _Study._ Or you won't get any better."

"Yes, Mr. Caleb," Molly says. "I've got it. You're a huge nerd." He leans forward and kisses Caleb's nose. "But it's cute. And... thanks, I guess."

Caleb nods, and passes Molly the bottle back.

"Oh, thank the gods," Molly says, unscrewing the cap and drinking again. He hands it to Caleb, who reluctantly takes a swig, wincing slightly.

"What's all this about?" Yasha asks. Caleb, at Molly's gesture, passes the bottle to her. She takes a sip, almost automatically, and passes it to Fjord.

"Caleb's helping me with my work," Molly says. "It's been very boring, but maybe now I won't flunk out." Fjord chuckles a little at that, but Yasha looks at him seriously and says, "Thank you." 

"Any time," Caleb says, and then winces inwardly. "Or, perhaps not any time, but Friday nights work."

"This has got to be the most boring Friday night any college kids have ever had," Beau says, and Fjord, without speaking, hands her the bottle. "Oh, nice!" Beau says, and drinks for a good five seconds before putting the bottle down. "Better. Definitely better."

Jester winces and waves the bottle on when Beau tries to hand it to her. It goes back to Molly, who looks at it and sighs. 

"I think," he says with regret, "the rest of this should be saved for tomorrow night, yeah?"

The evening devolves into a discussion of the party tomorrow night. Molly volunteers to get the alcohol; Caleb has no doubt that his "good fake ID" is one of Lucien's. Jester is in charge of snacks. The rest of them are just expected to contribute money for those. Caleb fumbles for his wallet, but Molly, a little more than tipsy at this point, swats his hand away dramatically. "No," he says. "Consider this my payment for your tutoring."

Caleb doesn't feel like arguing with a drunk Mollymauk, and so puts his wallet back. The talk goes on until finally, Jester, yawning, says, "Okay this sounds really fun and everything but I'm so tired and I need my beauty sleep." The girls trail along with her, and Fjord, still holding his fencing gear, leaves to put it away in their room. Caleb stands too, and Molly grabs his arm.

"Listen," he says, and it would be touching if he weren't slurring his words a bit, "I just want you to know that... I'm really grateful, Caleb, even if it's pointless in the end, and I'll be here for you when," he fumbles for the right word, "you.... you.... you want to talk about your past. All right?"

"All right," Caleb says, tugging himself free. "Goodnight, Molly."

"Goodniiiiiight, Caleeeeeeb," Molly says as he unlocks his door and slips in. "We loooooooove youuuuuu."

Caleb has to smile as he slips into his room.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Caleb spends most of Saturday dreading the night's party. He's never been a party animal, at all. The few times he's been to anything even remotely  _resembling_ a party have been with Nott, and usually she spent most of the party drinking and swiping things from very drunk people while Caleb distracted them. It was a good con, if you could call it that, but he suspects that won't be a good strategy at  _this_ party. He takes comfort, though, in the fact that it's taking place in the girls' suite, rather than their own. He'll have a place to retreat, if need be. (He suspects that the others planned the location with this in mind. He doesn't ask.) 

Molly emerges from his room at one in the afternoon. Eyeing him, Caleb suspects that this is what Molly looks like at his worst. It's not bad, actually, considering; his eye makeup is smudged, but in a way that could be considered fashionable, his jewelry is only a little tangled, and he's wearing the same clothes as he was wearing yesterday. His face is what really gives away his state: his eyes are bloodshot and red, and he looks exhausted.

"Good afternoon, Mollymauk," Caleb says. "Have a good night?"

Molly takes in Caleb's shit-eating grin and flips him off. "Fuck you," he says, but there's no malice in it. "You know what I fucking dreamed about? Note-taking strategies. You've officially taken the fun out of sleep." 

"At least you remember them," Caleb says. "I was worried all my hard work would be for nothing, what with the way you were drinking last night."

That earns him a smile from Molly- a tired one, true, but it's genuine. "I aim to impress, darling. Besides," and his smile slips, "I'd hate to fail out of here. Don't know what they'd do with me then." 

There's not much that Caleb wants to say there, so he changes the subject. "You look horrible," he says. "Are you sure you will be okay to party tonight?"

Molly grins widely at that. "If I have to be dragged into your world for a night, it's only fair you do the same," he says. "Besides, I want to know what drunk Caleb looks like. I'm imagining a lot of things, and honestly they're all adorable." He ruffles Caleb's hair and then heads out, towel thrown over his shoulder, swinging his toiletries and whistling what sounds like a show tune. Caleb rolls his eyes and returns to his computer. He's finished all of his actual work at this point, but he's scanning through the university's policies. When Molly returns, Caleb says, "Molly- Molly, I- actually, you know what? Get dressed first." 

"Oh?" Molly asks, ignoring him in favor of leaning over his shoulder. Caleb jerks his computer away before the tiefling's wet hair can drip on his keyboard.

"I was looking through the policies," Caleb explains. "First semester of freshman year doesn't count towards your GPA, so as long as you don't fail the course, you won't have to worry about it lowering your GPA."

Molly looks at him like he's dumb. "Right, Caleb," he says sardonically. "Because GPA really matters as a theater major."

"I mean, maybe not for a career," Caleb backtracks, flushing slightly. "And you still need to at least pass the course for the credit. But GPA does matter for visual arts, a lot of the time, and, and it can get you opportunities to work with professors if you do well, and..."

"I was joking, Caleb," Molly says hastily. "Look, I appreciate you doing all of this for me, okay? I really do. But you don't have to worry much about me. Worry about yourself, yeah?"

"I do," Caleb says, hurt. "I do not want to lose a suitemate in the middle of the year and have to hide my talent from someone entirely new, that is all."

"Right," Molly says, smiling. He doesn't seem to have taken offense. "You're a solitary hermit who hates everyone except for the use that they provide, got it." He unlocks his door and slips in while Caleb is still trying to think of a witty retort. He can't, and, in a huff, picks up his computer and sits in his room with only Frumpkin for company.

He goes to dinner with his friends early. They've agreed that the party will be at eight, and Jester wants time to prepare.

"You know that this isn't a real party, right?" Molly asks her wearily. "It's an evening in with friends drinking. It's not gonna be a rager or anything. You don't really _need_ time to prepare."

"I like to look pretty!" Jester shoots back.

Molly nods, shrugging slightly. "Okay, fair."

Caleb takes a quick shower and returns to his room, and is startled when, after an hour there's a knock on his door. He opens it to find Molly.

"There you are!" Molly says brightly. Caleb raises his eyebrow. Clearly, Molly has gone all out on his look. Caleb isn't an expert on makeup, but even he can tell Molly's look must have taken a while to put on. He's wearing some kind of body shimmer, a deep red button-down with a good four buttons at the top unbuttoned, and a long, flowing black skirt. He narrows his eyes.

"I thought you said we did not need to prepare?"

"We don't," Molly admits, "but I'll be damned if I'll let Jester outdo me."

"What do you need?"

"Nothing," Molly says. "But we have another half hour, and I'm here to offer my services as a stylist."

"I will just wear this," Caleb says, gesturing to his outfit.

"I was going to ask," Molly says, wrinkling his nose. "Do you actually have multiple T-shirts? Because I could swear you've been wearing the same outfit every day."

"I have different shirts,  _ja,"_ Caleb says defensively. "I just like to blend into the crowd."

"None of that tonight!" Molly says. "No, don't protest, it's depressing is what it is. Besides, if I have to listen to you talk about organizational strategies all night, you have to let me style you."

"Why are you really doing this?" Caleb asks suspiciously.

"Because I don't want to feel overdressed, and Fjord doesn't owe me. Besides, he looks better than you do. Between you and me, I think he's trying to impress Jester." He smiles fondly. "They'd be a cute couple, don't you think?" He steps all the way in, and starts pawing through Caleb's closet. Caleb makes a halfhearted noise of protest, but Molly is determined, and Caleb really does have this coming.

"Okay, so everything in your closet is garbage," Molly says almost conversationally, and Caleb bristles slightly.

"They are simple," he says. "Not that you would understand or appreciate it."

"Yeah, whatever," Molly scoffs. "Come on, we're going to my room."

Fjord looks up when they enter, and raises an eyebrow. "What's going on here?"

"Fjord, dear, please get out," Molly says. "Caleb, take your shirt off." 

Fjord's eyebrows disappear into his hairline. "Now  _hold on a second,_ are you two-" he looks torn between horror and amusement.

" _Nein!"_ Caleb protests, horrified. 

"Not yet," Molly amends. "I'm just serving as the fashion police. Go on, get out."

"Oh," Fjord says. He smirks at Caleb. "Good luck." He waves his fingers mockingly as he leaves, and Caleb gives him the bird. 

"Okay, so," Molly says, starting to go through his closet. "You're shorter than me, so half of this stuff we can probably throw out immediately. Remind me to take you shopping sometime."

Caleb makes a mental note not to remind Molly to do that. 

"Okay," Molly says, dumping a heap of fabric on his bed. "Any of these seem good?"

Caleb flicks through them. Molly has, at least, stayed fairly conservative; There are three T-shirts in the mix, all of which are, admittedly, nicer than his shirts. They all seem to be band T-shirts, though, so he puts them aside. There's a similar button-down to the one that Molly has on, but in a deep chocolate brown. 

"That's the one I'd recommend," Molly notes. "Also, then we'll be matching, which will definitely make Jester jealous."

"I'll take that into consideration," Caleb mutters. He holds up the last one and squints at it. "Is this a crop top?"

"Only a little bit," Molly says. Caleb glares at him. "You're shorter than me! It's practically a regular shirt on you."

Caleb inspects it. It's dark purple, and, looking at his hand, he can tell that it's fairly sheer. He snorts and throws it back down. "I think I am fine in this outfit,  _danke,_ Molly."

"Oh, come on, don't be a spoilsport," Molly says. "I even kept it tastefully simple and classy for you. You can even wear that same pair of pants you always wear."

"I ruined my only other pair of pants, Molly, what do you want from me?"

"You to pick a shirt you like. Come on."

Reluctantly, Caleb picks up the button-down. 

"Knew it," Molly says. "Let's see it." Caleb feels himself flush slightly. He has nothing, in principal, against taking off his shirt. It just feels odd to do it when it is just Molly in a room with him, especially when Molly is looking at him intently. He turns to face the other direction as he pulls off the shirt, and Molly snorts.

"Little self-conscious, dear?"

" _Arschloch."_

"Ooh, haven't heard that one before," Molly says. "I think I can infer the meaning, though."

Caleb turns back as he finishes buttoning up. Molly winces. "All right, I think you're going to need to tuck it in." Indeed, it is absurdly large on Caleb. Caleb begins to tuck it in, and Molly continues, "And for heaven's sake, unbutton at least the top button. Nobody has a buttoned collar unless they're wearing a tie." He reaches out and unbuttons it for Caleb, and then pops another button. Caleb takes a step back and, shirt tucked, starts to fumble with the second button again.

"We're aiming for a relaxed, casual look," Molly says, sighing. "Two buttons. Come on, you're not exactly showing any skin. And maybe we roll up the sleeves? They're bunching up a little." Molly's own sleeves are rolled up, fashionably messy. Caleb glares at him.

"Every time I try to roll up my sleeves it looks like I am about to go wash dishes."

"That's just because you aren't doing it right," Molly says, reaching for his arm. Caleb presents it hesitantly, and Molly deftly gets to work, folding the sleeve up his arm. He does the other one, too, and admires the effect.

"See? Much better."

Caleb glances in the mirror and has to admit that he looks pretty good, compared to his normal state.

"Now for your hair," Molly says, businesslike, and Caleb shakes his head. 

" _Nein,_ no, not happening."

"I don't want to do anything major," Molly says, rolling his eyes. "Just use a bit of product. Tousle it a bit. You look very neat and preppy right now."

"Not happening," Caleb repeats firmly.

* * *

Whatever Molly put in his hair makes it feel slightly sticky, and Caleb has to exercise extreme restraint in not touching it more than he has to. Fjord chuckles slightly when he sees Caleb emerge, but doesn't comment, which makes him feel a little bit better. He has to admit, he looks... decent. 

The door to the girls' suite is shut, but Caleb can hear laughter and music, and has to assume the party has started. They've agreed they need to be very careful about how loud they are; getting busted would be rough, and none of them feel like dealing with the fallout. Molly knocks, and Jester pokes her head out, and grins hugely.

"Oh my gosh, Molly, you look so cute!" She ushers them in, and Caleb sees that she too seems to have gone all out for the occasion; elaborate, sparkly makeup, a pretty dress complete with petticoats, and her hair elaborately braided. "Oh, and you and Caleb are  _matching,_ that's so cute, I love it! Caleb, you look very attractive. Not that you weren't before, it's just that, you know, you always dress so frumpy." She turns to Fjord and smiles wickedly. "And Fjord.... you look good." She giggles and smiles, taking him by the arm. "Did you ever meet Keg? I feel like you're always out studying whenever she's here!" 

Caleb turns and nearly bumps into a firbolg who is leaning down towards the drinks. 

"Hello, Caleb," she says warmly, smiling at him. "You look very nice."

" _Hallo,_ Nila," Caleb says, attempting a smile. "You do too. I did not realize you would be coming, Jester said she texted you and you said you were busy with environmental club."

"I was!" she says, beaming. "But the meeting is late today, so I decided to say hello to everyone before I had to go." She looks around, her face falling a little. "Although, it seems like everyone is getting drunk and talking about lewd things."

Caleb studies her intently. "Correct me if I am wrong, but you lived a sheltered life,  _nein?"_

"Yes!" Nila says, smiling at him again. "I lived in the woods with my family."

"Well," Caleb says, "this is what most college parties are like. Drinking, and talking about lewd things. Sometimes doing lewd things, or doing more illegal things."

"Oh," Nila says, frowning. 

"This is actually a very quiet party," Caleb says. "I do not want to scare you off, just... letting you know."

"Thank you, Caleb," she says earnestly, taking his hands. "I need to go soon, but it was very kind of you to let me know, and talk to me." She smiles and steps out of his way, and Caleb looks around at the drinks. There's a few bottles of liquor which he studiously avoids, and a jug of lemonade, or maybe something to mix with the liquor. There's also a cooler, which, upon closer inspection, has soda, water, and beers in it. He grabs a beer and opens it, and takes a few gulps before joining the groups that have formed.

He tries to chat with Yasha and Beau, joined shortly by Keg, but he quickly realizes that there's a complex web of relationships that he's fallen into by accident: Beau is flirting with Yasha, who doesn't seem to mind but doesn't reciprocate; Keg is flirting with Beau, who seems a bit oblivious considering her infatuation with Yasha. Yasha engages for a while, but suddenly there's a loud rumble of thunder, and she looks out the window, her eyes going distant.

"Actually, can you excuse me for a minute?" she says politely. "I'll be right back."

"Yasha- wait, Yasha, you always do this!" Beau complains, but Yasha has already left. She glares at Caleb as if it's his fault. "Why does she always do that? So fucking mysterious."

"I do not know."

"So, uh, anyway," Keg says, leaning against the wall. "You're a gymnast, huh? You must be pretty flexible." Caleb groans and leaves to join another group. He really doesn't want to be a part of this discussion.

He almost heads for Jester and Fjord, but they seem to have reached a comfortable level of banter. Fjord's lost the edge of nervousness, and Jester seems to have stopped tormenting him, and they're laughing at some joke together. For a second, Caleb's heart twists in some undefinable pain and need, whether for companionship or someone to look at him like Fjord is looking at Jester or just the feeling of being wanted. He swallows past a lump in his throat and turns away deliberately, looking at the groups, trying to figure out who to join. Keg and Beau have disappeared. Nila has left. Nott is chatting with Cali, gesturing vigorously. She's obviously past tipsy and into drunk. Caleb takes a mental note to make sure she doesn't get blackout drunk and do something truly stupid, and turns, only to nearly run into Molly. He steps back just in time, holding his drink over Caleb's head.

"I see we've already lost Yasha," he notes. "And Nila's gone. Beau and Keg, too, but I don't think they've gone far." He points at Beau and Jester's room, and Caleb hears a muffled moan. He cringes. 

"I am not nearly drunk enough for this," he mutters.

"Fixable problem," Molly says, gesturing to his beer. Caleb nods and downs the rest of it, supressing a belch. "I am getting a refill," he says. 

"You could always try something harder..." Molly suggests.

Caleb winces. "I think I will pass on that."

He spends most of the night drinking by himself, far more than he's accustomed to, watching the others wistfully. By the time Molly breaks away from Cali and Nott, he's pretty drunk, and actually debating going up to Fjord and Jester to tell them they're a cute couple.

"You doing okay?" Molly asks, looking critically at him. 

"I'm doing  _wunderbar,"_ Caleb says, smiling up at him. "I am drinking with my friends, and we are all having a good time."

"You're kind of drinking alone," Molly points out. "Not to be a buzzkill."

"Then you can come and drink with me," Caleb says, grabbing Molly's hand and pulling him clumsily down next to him. "And we can talk, about, about..." he racks his brains. "I cannot think of anything right now."

Molly chuckles softly. "I was right. You are adorable when you're shitfaced."

"You are also adorable," Caleb says, unsure of how to respond but relentlessly cheerful.

"I want to be friends with drunk Caleb all the time," Molly complains. "Drunk Caleb is so much nicer than regular, mean Caleb."

"I am not mean," Caleb says, frowning slightly. "I am just practical." 

Molly ruffles his hair. "I know, I know, I'm just teasing, love." He looks over at Fjord and muses, "Do you think we could get them to dance together? Or just anyone to dance. To be honest, I haven't been dancing much lately. It's very disappointing."

"I cannot dance," Caleb says, sighing. "Astrid tried to teach me, but, but I am very clumsy, and I made a fool of myself at the homecoming dance, and it upset her very much. She did not speak to me for weeks."

"She sounds like a dick," Molly says. "Wait here for a second." He gets up and says something to Jester, who immediately jumps up and walks to a clear space in the common room. She and Molly start dancing, and eventually Cali joins in, and then Fjord. Nott plops down next to Caleb.

"What is going on?" Caleb asks.

"I think Molly challenged Jester to a dance-off," Nott says. 

"And who is winning?"

"I think everyone's just kind of joined in," Nott says. She looks at him. "You're really drunk, Caleb."

"I know," Caleb says, nodding amiably.

He spends the rest of the night sitting next to Nott, drinking and watching the others dance. He's not having a bad time by any means. At some point, someone replaces his beer with a water bottle, and he thanks them and drinks that instead. Molly comes back and tries to pull him onto the floor, but Caleb shakes his head, stammering some excuse. He's not in any state to dance, and Molly, looking concerned, talks to Jester, and comes back, pulling Caleb to his feet.

" _Nein,_ Molly, I cannot dance," Caleb says thickly.

"We aren't dancing, we're just going back to the rooms."

"Oh. That's alright, then."

He's not entirely sure how they make it to the dorm. They do make it, though, and Molly says, "Alright, where are your keys?"

Caleb fumbles for the key, unlocking his door, and flops into bed. Molly laughs. "At least take your shoes off first, Caleb."

His shoelaces prove too baffling, so Molly leans down and undoes them for him, pulling off his boots. For good measure, he helps Caleb take his shirt off and balls it up, tossing it into his room.

"Go to sleep," he says, smiling in a mildly obnoxious way. "I'll leave some water and painkillers on your nightstand for you tomorrow morning."

Caleb normally would argue against letting a mostly-stranger be in his room while he sleeps, but he's too tired. "Okay," he says into the pillow. "Goodnight, Mollymauk."

"Goodnight, Caleb," he hears as the tiefling clatters around in his room looking for glasses. He's asleep before Molly finds a glass, and doesn't waken when Molly places a few pills, a glass of water, and a note on his nightstand, scratches behind Frumpkin's ears, blows Caleb a kiss, and turns out the light, shutting the door quietly behind him.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

Caleb wakes up at almost eleven the next day, and  _immediately_ regrets it. 

He lies there for a long time, rolling onto his side to attempt to avoid the beams of light coming out of the window, and waits for his headache to fade. There's something nagging at him in the back of his mind, something he should be doing, but he can't remember what it is. He lies there, letting it come to him, and remembers the painkillers Molly promised. He rolls back over, squinting down. Sure enough, there's a glass of water and a couple of painkillers on top of a note. He takes them, drinking the whole glass of water for good measure, and scans the note.

_Caleb, make sure you take these in the morning. text me if you need anything <3 Molly_

Caleb flicks it aside and reaches for his phone, squinting and hastily dimming the brightness. He's got a few new messages.

 

 **Molly:** yo are you ok

 **Molly:** are you asleep or just like cowering in there

 **Molly:** gonna assume asleep unless you say otherwise 

 

He fumbles for his keyboard.

 

 **Caleb:** I am awake now.

 **Molly:** oooooh, good  _morning_ Caleb!!! feeling bright eyed and bushy tailed!

 **Molly:** you'd better be we're all meeting to figure out our weird magic shit again in a few hours (:

 **Caleb:** I despise you.

 **Molly:** aw drunk Caleb was much more fun :C

 **Caleb:** I will kill you and feed your guts to Frumpkin.

 **Molly:** mean

 **Molly:** not that I don't taste fantastic ;) 

 **Molly:** I saved you some stuff from breakfast tho you should eat that it'll help I think? idk helps for me

 **Molly:** not anything interesting don't worry just some fruit and shit

 **Molly:** it's in the mini fridge in the suite 

 **Molly:** we're all hanging on the quad

 **Molly:** except for Beau she's still MIA she and keg left together a while after we left apparently

 **Caleb:** How are you not hungover?

 **Molly:** I was but not as badly I used my weird blood magic to pull some of the alcohol out of me 

 **Molly:** plus I have a frankly bullshit alcohol tolerance

 **Molly:** anyway. go, eat, shower

 **Molly:** if you're going to throw up please do so not in the suite thanks

 

Caleb curses quietly and drops the phone. The painkillers are starting to work, or maybe it's the placebo effect, but his headache is subsiding slightly. He shuffles, exhausted, to the shower, and lets himself stay in the hot water for longer than he normally does. By the time he shuts the water off and wraps himself in the towel, he feels much more human, and brushes his teeth quickly before getting dressed. The fridge, as promised, has a Tupperware of fruit; mostly grapes, with a few chunks of melon. The dining hall fruit generally has melon and some other fruit. He's just thankful it's not strawberries. He inhales the food, and is just about to go rinse out the Tupperware when someone knocks on the door.

"Who is it?" he calls hesitantly.

"It's Beau, man. Fuck." She mutters something indistinctly. "Open the door, yeah?"

Caleb hoists himself up and opens the door. Sure enough, Beau is standing there, looking exhausted. She lurches in and collapses on the couch. "Shut the damn door."

"What is up with you?" Caleb asks. 

"Tired. Hungover. Don't feel like dealing with the others."

"You feel like dealing with me?"

She shrugs with one shoulder. "Didn't know you were in here. Thought I could just pick the lock. Got any booze?"

"Now?"

"Hair of the dog that bit you, you know."

"That is not a thing."

"Yeah it is."

"Not one that  _works."_ Caleb sighs. "Stay here, I have some Advil in a drawer."

He returns with the bottle, and hands it to her. "Do you have a water bottle, or-" she pops three pills into her mouth and swallows them dry. "That works too."

"Thanks," she says gruffly, handing it back to him. "I had... a lot, last night."

"I hate to ask this, because I don't know that I am prepared to deal with the answer," Caleb says, hesitant, "but are you... all right?"

"I dunno," she says, sighing. "There's just... so much happening, you know?"

Caleb stays silent, unsure of how to respond, and Beau seems to take it as an invitation to go on.

"Like, I don't know," she says, and huffs out a breath. "Like Keg. Don't get me wrong, she's super cool and everything, but like, I... we did some stuff, you know, it was fun, and I thought that would be it, and I could sneak out in the morning, but, uh. Kinda fucked that part up? And I think she wants something from me beyond.... stuff? But I'm not into her that way, and I don't want her to think that I just did stuff with her because I was sad about Yasha leaving, but I was sad about Yasha leaving, but that's not why I did it, I did it because she was hot and funny and I was into it, you know? But she asked me if I could stay a while and talk, and I freaked out and made up some bullshit excuse and left, and now I think she's upset with me, and Yasha still doesn't notice me, and just... fuck." She rubs tiredly at her eyes.

"You know that I know what sex is," Caleb says. "You don't have to say stuff. You can just say that you had sex."

Beau flips him off.

"Also," he says, relenting, "I am not good at, at friends, or social skills, or what have you, but, in my experience, people do better when you tell them the truth."

"Like what? 'Sorry, you're hot, but I don't see us having a future beyond us fucking when we're both horny?' Yeah, super good advice, Caleb."

" _Nein,_ not like... think of it more as telling her what you told me. That you think she is attractive, and you enjoyed your time, but you do not have feelings for her."

"Yeah, I don't know," Beau says, laying down on the couch. "Everything's just gone pear shaped, you know? Like, I came here to learn more about martial arts, get better at gymnastics, party hard and drop out my junior year, but like, now I'm all tangled up in this magic shit, and it feels... shitty sometimes, you know? Like all of you are in some weird magic club and Fjord and I are all just sitting out here with our thumbs in our asses."

" _Ja,"_ Caleb says uncomfortably. He's not sure how to respond. On one hand, obviously, excluding Beau and Fjord feels wrong. On the other, he suspects being in a room full of people doing magic would not make her feel less like an outsider. He settles for, "You know, in a way, I am jealous of you."

She snorts. "Yeah, super jealous. 'Oooh, I'm Caleb, and I have to deal with sick ass fire coming out of my hands, it's so hard.' " She's quiet for a moment, and then sighs. "Fuck. Sorry, I don't mean to be so bitchy."

"This," Caleb says, hesitating. "This was not the first- club, I suppose, where someone tried to teach me magic." He hasn't told anyone but Nott about this, and it's hard to force himself to continue. "I had... at my old school, a teacher caught me with fire, and...." He has to take a deep breath. "He told me that I had... a gift, he said.... he told me I just needed to practice, and work on it, and I would become powerful." He laughs hoarsely, shakes his head. "He had other students, too. Astrid and Eodwulf. We met twice a week under the guise of... I do not even remember, Beau, I think it was biology club or something. And we would... practice, I suppose you would call it, but the methods he used were... they were not kind." He takes a shaking breath. "My fire, Eodwulf's necromancy, Astrid's poison, it is... it was all tied to our emotions. We would try to perform the largest feats we could, and when he was unsatisfied with it, he would... hurt us, and tell us to use it to fuel our magic." He blinks, forcing back the memories. "It may be, be cool and interesting and fun, for you, and, and, and for the others, but for me? It is... it is tied with pain, too."

"That's fucked up, dude," Beau breathes, looking horrified. "What happened to him?"

"We messed up," Caleb whispers. "We got caught. They ran, I surrendered, and... well, I ended up here."

"But they're still after you," Beau says. "Those are the people you're freaked out about, yeah?"

" _Ja,"_ Caleb whispers. He turns towards her, forces his lips into a smile. "You are not like the rest of us, true, but you are... you are fine. You are safe."

"Yeah. Sorry, Caleb, I... I shouldn't have-" Beau starts, but then the door bursts open and Molly enters, laughing and chattering to Jester and Fjord. His face splits into a wicked grin when he sees Caleb and Beau, and he says, "Ah! The two sleeping beauties awake. Have a good night, Beau?"

"Go fuck yourself," Beau says, turning stony again.

"And Caleb, you-" Molly pauses and frowns. "You look awful. Are you all right?"

"Hungover," Caleb says tersely. He doesn't feel like telling the story to Molly just yet. Maybe ever.

"Okay," Molly says doubtfully. "Whatever. Anyway, hurry up, we all need to go get lunch, and then dear, sweet, Caleb is coming with me to see if he can avoid setting us all on fire when he gets pissed at me for teasing him."

"Hey, leave off, okay?" Beau says, and Caleb cringes. He didn't mean to get Beau  _protective_ of him. It feels wrong, somehow.

"Aw, have you two become friiiiends?" Jester asks, beaming at them. "Beau is so grumpy, I keep thinking I need to like, get her out of her shell, and it's really nice that the two of you are talking, and I can't wait to see you at lunch, okay? I'm going to go save us all some seats." She dashes out in a blue blur, humming under her breath, and Fjord looks at them, embarrassed.

"We were just goin' to see if Caleb was awake," he says, ruffling his hair awkwardly. "I'm real sorry if we interrupted something."

"No, nothing," Beau says, in a too-casual voice. "Just two hungover buds, talking about, uh. Classes and stuff."

"Seems reasonable," Molly says sarcastically. Before Beau can protest, he says, "No, Beau, I  _really_ don't care. Unless it was some juicy gossip. In that case, I very much do care." His eyes rest on Caleb, and his eyebrows raise a fraction, his face assuming an expression that Caleb finds he can read.  _Are you okay?_

 _"Nein,"_ he says. "We were speaking of nothing interesting."

* * *

 

It's harder, this time, to go to their "class", after having dredged up memories of Ikathon that he had preferred to stay buried. It helps, though, that the purpose of the class- for him, at least- is to keep everything small, limited, under control. The opposite of the purpose of Ikathon's little circle.

By an hour in, Caleb has convinced himself that he can probably control his fire even under emotional stress. After all, he's stressed right now, and not even starting to heat up. 

 _So this is it,_ he thinks.  _I'm done. I never have to play with fire again. It's controlled, it's safe. The others probably won't even pressure me to continue now. I can just... leave._

So why doesn't he want to?

But at his core, Caleb knows that he wouldn't give up his fire. It's one thing to think about what Ikathon has done to him, and what he has done, and associate it with fire. It's another thing, though, to look at a wild, leaping flame in the palm of your hand, feel the warmth against your skin, know with your whole being that this is  _yours._ He sighs. Perhaps everything that he has told Beau has been bullshit, then. Hopefully, though, she'll be able to console herself with his story, and not, for the love of whatever god she worships, tell any of the others.

Molly corners him, after they all break up.

"You sure you're okay?" he asks, narrowing his red eyes. "You looked like you had seen a ghost or something."

"Nothing interesting," Caleb lies. "Just some bad memories."

"Can't relate," Molly says cheerfully. "Whatever, just make sure you're staying sane, yeah? Anyway, I need your help big time."

"What now?"

"Tutoring help, I mean. For theater." He's not meeting Caleb's eyes.

Caleb raises a brow. "What has happened?"

"Nothing!" Molly says. "Nothing. Just, you know. Didn't realize how much  _written_ shit there was, and there's an essay due tomorrow about the history of Xhorhasian theater? And I thought it was fine, but, you know. After the essay we got back on Friday..."

"You want me to proofread your essay," Caleb says.

"Yeah, I guess," Molly says. "Please?"

Caleb relents. "Fine," he says, "but you owe me a book."

"Thank you, Caleb," Molly says, grinning hugely. "You see? I knew drunk affectionate Caleb was in there somewhere, under all the layers of grumpy smart Caleb."

Molly's essay is atrocious. Not only is the writing itself poor, Molly has evidently never made a bibliography before or cited his sources. It's nearly seven by the time Caleb deems Molly's essay passable, and he sighs in relief.

"We should get dinner before the dining halls close," he says, rolling his shoulders.

"Yeah, sure," Molly says absently, staring off into space for a moment. He blinks, breaking the spell, and then smiles at Caleb. "Thank you, darling. I really do owe you one."

"I am not doing this again," Caleb warns.

He does do it again, though, and again, and again. He falls into a rhythm: During the day, he attends classes, and in the evening, after he finishes his own work, he helps Molly with his. To Molly's credit, his work does improve; Caleb finds that, after a while, the corrections take less and less time.

"You are doing well," Caleb says, one October day, pushing Molly's finished essay back towards him. "I do not think there is anything I can do to help you, any more. If you want to do better, you had better see the tutors, or talk to Fjord or Yasha about it." Fjord has started tutoring Jester. Truthfully, Caleb doesn't think there's much tutoring going on, despite Fjord's best efforts. Recently, though, Fjord has started flirting back with Jester. Caleb can't tell if they're a couple or just playing at it.

Molly makes a non-committal sound. "I don't really give a fuck, as long as I'm passing. Thanks, Caleb." He leans over and kisses Caleb's cheek. "You've been very kind to me. I appreciate that."

"It's nothing," Caleb says, feeling a faint flush creeping up his neck. "As long as you stay my suitemate, I will not be ratted out, and that is payment enough." He stands, and Molly stands too.

"We can still hang out, though, right?" Molly asks. "As friends, you know."

" _Ja,_ sure," Caleb says, blinking. Molly's face crinkles into a large, pleased grin, and Caleb can't help but smile reluctantly. " _Excellent,"_ Molly says. 

Caleb doesn't quite know why he says yes to that.  _Because we are friends,_ he tells himself, but something about that doesn't ring true. He shakes it off, pushes it to the back of his mind to analyze later, and focuses instead on Molly.


	12. Chapter 12

Caleb has settled into his routine by now. He likes routine, and he likes the fact that he has friends that join him in it. He fades into the background, a bit, in this group of motley, odd, loud people. But that's okay by him; he much prefers being in the background to being singled out.

Which is why, when Fjord sits down with him and says, far too seriously for his liking, "Hey, Caleb, can I speak to you for a sec?", Caleb can feel his heart rate accelerating.

" _Ja,_ what has... what did I do?"

"Nothing!" Fjord says hastily. "Nothing, just... I wanted to know if you and Molly were cool."

"We were studying together for a long time," Caleb says. "And we get along fine these days with the group, as well."

"Yeah, but..." Fjord says, and runs a hand awkwardly through his hair. "I dunno. Just wanna make sure you're cool with each other."

"Why?"

"Fall break is comin' up, and, well..." Fjord says, avoiding eye contact, "Jester and I are uh. Goin' north to see a concert, you know. So just want to make sure that you're, you know, cool with sharing a space with him."

"Is this a date?" Caleb asks, perhaps a little bluntly. "You and Jester, I mean."

"Well, it's not a date, technically," Fjord says, flushing a little. "She got the tickets from her ma, you know, and... well, we've been getting pretty close, and..."

"Sounds like a date to me," Caleb remarks.

Fjord clears his throat. "Anyway, if you're cool with him, then there shouldn't be a problem," he says, and walks away.

Fjord isn't the only one leaving for fall break. Nott is going too.

"You are going home?" he asks, sitting on her bed.

"If you can call it that," she says, sounding tired. She's packing some things into a duffel bag. "Assholes probably want me for some photo ops or some shit. Don't worry, Caleb, I'll steal lots of nice things for us," she says, and flashes a nervous smile. 

"Wait, these assholes are..." Yasha asks, poking her head in.

"My parents," Nott says, then makes a face and clarifies, "my  _adopted_ parents."

"I am confused," Yasha says, blinking at her and entering. Jester follows her in, looking curious. "Why are they assholes?"

"It is a long story," Caleb says, but Nott interrupts.

"No, it's fine, Caleb," she says. "I ran away from my real parents because... well. They were pretty typical goblins, if you know what I mean. Lots of violence and torture and all that. So I ran away, and eventually got put in the foster care system, and..." she makes a face. "My adopted parents adopted me. They're super rich and super famous, and I guess they thought it was very  _progressive_ to have a goblin child." She tosses a shirt into the bag with venom. "As if I needed to be reminded that I was... like _this._ Stupid publicity stunt, but it works, I guess. The only problem is that I hate them and they hate me. Sent me away to boarding school and keep me as far away from them as possible, except when someone wants to run a new article on how they're so  _saintly_ for picking up- picking up a  _monster_ like me." 

"Nott, we have talked about this," Caleb says. "You are not a monster, by any means."

"I'm a goblin," she says tiredly. "Same difference."

"That's so sad," Jester says, looking very downcast. "They didn't care about you at all, or read you stories, or tuck you in, or-"

Nott snorts. "I'm glad they didn't. They're disgusting people. I do my best to embarrass them whenever possible."

"Is that why you steal so much?" Yasha asks. Caleb looks sharply at her, but she doesn't look angry or critical, just curious.

"Nah," Nott says, brightening. "I just like shiny things a lot. I get this... itch, you know."

She leaves that evening. Caleb walks with her to the shuttle to the airport.

"It will be all right," he tells her. "It is only three days."

"Three days," Nott says, smiling unconvincingly. "What could possibly go wrong?"

Jester and Fjord leave the next morning, catching a train. Caleb waves goodbye to Jester and hisses, " _Ask her out,"_ in Fjord's ear. Fjord grimaces, but Jester winks at him as they pull away.

And just like that, the seven of them are down to four. Caleb settles in for a few days of binge-watching and napping with Frumpkin. 

He is roused halfway through his nature documentary when there's a knock on his door. 

He gets up grumpily, opening the door. It's Molly, of course, leaning against the wall. He eyes Caleb's pajamas and raises an eyebrow.

"Backsliding already, are we?"

"I am relaxing," Caleb says stiffly. "Is there a problem?"

"No, it's adorable," Molly says. "But! Nott made me promise to make sure you were okay in her absence, and I suspect that moping around by yourself isn't healthy in the long run." He claps his hands, making Frumpkin start and gaze around, alarmed. "Therefore! We're going to have Beau and Yasha over. See if we can finally resolve that sexual tension."

"They have sexual tension?"

"Both of them are, admittedly, disasters," Molly concedes. "But Beau is into Yasha, and unless I'm very much mistaken, Yasha thinks Beau is attractive." He wrinkles his nose. "Not that I understand that."

"She is very..." Caleb says, searching for the right word. "Fit. Toned."

"Oh no," Molly says, sighing. "Do we have a love triangle situation on our hands? Wait." He glares at Caleb, something like panic in his eyes. "Is that what you were talking about a month ago or whatever? When you were being all cagey?"

" _Nein!"_ Caleb says, horrified. "Gods, no. Beau is... I was going to say a good friend, but I don't know that that's true."

"Oh good," Molly says. "I was afraid I wasn't on top of the gossip for once. A fate worse than death."

"Whatever," Caleb says, rolling his eyes. "What do you want from me?"

"You're so confrontational," Molly complains. "What happened to nice Caleb who tutored me?"

"He's still watching his documentary."

"You'll get back to your documentary soon," Molly says. It's hard to tell, but Caleb thinks he's rolling his eyes. "I just want to know if you're down for tonight."

"What would it involve?"

"Just you getting a little drunk and reading some social cues," Molly says. "And then after that you can keep watching whatever you're watching. I'll even join you, if you want."

Caleb sighs. "What time?"

"After dinner," Molly says. "Seven or so."

"Fine," Caleb says, and shuts the door.

 

Dinner is a subdued affair, without Jester's chaos. Molly tries to keep up a conversation, but stuck with the three least socially conscious people in the party, the conversation is halting and inept. He gives up, eventually. They're clearing their plates when Molly says, "You know what? Let's all go grab a drink. Our suite."

"Fuck yeah," Beau says immediately. Yasha clears her throat.

"I think I will pass on this one," she murmurs.

"Aw, come on, Yasha," Beau pleads. "You always do this!"

"Well...." Yasha says, trailing off. She looks at Caleb. "Your cat, will he be there?"

" _Ja,"_ Caleb says, surprised. "If Fjord is not here, we can even let him into the suite."

"Then... I suppose I'll come," Yasha says. Molly crows. 

"Yes!" he says, grinning. "Let's go, then." He puts an arm over Caleb's shoulder and steers him towards the dining hall door. Normally, Caleb would shrug off anyone who did that, with the possible exception of Nott. But it's getting chilly out, and Molly's arm is a warm, comforting weight, and Molly has become familiar, by now, so Caleb only wraps an arm around Molly's waist in answer. When he glances at Molly, Molly is beaming. Beau and Yasha trail behind, and Caleb can hear Beau attempting a friendly conversation. Yasha is responding, which, truthfully, is more than Caleb has managed to accomplish, so he assumes it's going well.

When they get to the suite, Molly rummages around in his room for a minute before returning with some shot glasses, a bottle, and a beer bottle that he presses into Caleb's hand. It's warm, probably flat, leftover from the party, but Caleb appreciates the effort. He opens his door and picks up Frumpkin, putting him down in Yasha's lap. Frumpkin mews in protest, but settles down. Hesitantly, slowly, Yasha runs her hand gently over the cat, an expression of wonder on her face.

"So, uh," Beau says, after taking three shots. "You like cats?"

"Yes," Yasha says, still looking down at Frumpkin. "They are very soft- oh!" she looks at Caleb. "He's vibrating."

"He's purring," Molly corrects her. "That means that he likes what you're doing."

"Not a lot of cats in Xhorhas, then?" Beau asks doggedly.

Yasha only shrugs ambiguously. She holds out her hand to the cat, who buries his face affectionately in it.

"Oh!" Yasha says, looking amazed. She looks at Beau. "Can you take a picture?"

"Yeah, sure," Beau says, fumbling for her phone. She takes a few, and says, "I'll, uh, send them to you."

Caleb tunes out for a while, drinking the beer. It's less flat than he expected, and it's room temperature. He's distantly conscious that the conversation is starting to pick up, Molly having to interject less and less. Molly eventually gives up on the shots, drinking directly from the bottle, swaying when he gets up to grab another beer for Caleb. Caleb drink that one, as well. He's starting to feel pleasantly fuzzy, tipsy, when he notices everyone looking at him, especially Molly.

" _Was?"_ he asks, clearing his throat. "Sorry, what?"

"I  _said,"_ Molly says, looking pointedly at him, "wasn't there a nature documentary I promised to watch with you?"

"We could all watch-" Yasha starts.

"No, no," Molly says breezily, getting up. "You should stay here and pet Frumpkin. Besides, you two were having a decent conversation." He gets up, and hastily, Caleb, recognizing this as a cue, fumbles for his keys and opens his door. They shut the door. Caleb starts to say something, and Molly hushes him, standing completely still. There's a low rumble of Yasha's voice, and he relaxes, tail swishing happily.

"Excellent," he says, and sits. "Now, documentary? Or did you finish that?"

"There are more," Caleb says. "Are you drunk?"

" _Very,"_ Molly says amicably. "Aren't you?"

"I suppose I am," Caleb admits. "Do you mind watching?"

"Not at all," Molly says. Caleb reaches for his computer and fumbles for it, and they're shuffling around his cramped room, and before he knows it, Molly and him are sitting next to each other on the bed, Molly pressed against him, the computer balanced on both of their laps. They watch in silence for a while. It's about the creatures of Xhorhas, and Caleb is intrigued.

"Yasha would like this, actually," Molly says halfway through it. "I almost feel bad."

"I think she is having a good enough time outside," Caleb points out. There's been a quiet hum of conversation outside for a while, now. "Besides, she has probably seen all of this already."

"It's possible," Molly admits. They watch on in silence for a while. Molly's arm creeps around his shoulders again, and, instinctively, Caleb scoots closer into Molly.

"I didn't realize you were okay with this," Molly says.

"I am not. Usually, I mean," Caleb says. "But with people I know, and trust..."

"You trust me?"

Caleb looks at him searchingly. " _Ja,"_ he says at last. "I believe I do."

"You're just saying that because you're drunk," Molly says, but he looks pleased nevertheless. 

Caleb only shrugs and rests his head on Molly's shoulder.

The documentary ends an hour later, and they stay pressed together for a while after that. 

"We should probably do something," Molly says, looking down at him.

" _Ja,_ " Caleb agrees. Molly is looking down at him, one corner of his mouth curled up in a crooked smile, and Caleb's face is only a few inches from Molly's, and Caleb only has the chance to think,  _oh, Mollymauk is pretty _before Molly closes those few inches and kisses him.

It's unexpected, but not entirely unwelcome, and Caleb closes his eyes and stays there for a second before he fully processes what's happening and he jerks away. 

"Sorry," Molly says, pulling back, looking horrified. "I'm- Sorry, I was drunk, and you were looking up at me like- I didn't-" He doesn't get any further before Caleb leans back in and kisses him. It's probably not as good for Molly as it is for Caleb. Caleb hasn't had a lot of practice, and he's self conscious, but Molly leans into it, and they stay there for a few seconds before there's a loud pounding at the door, and both of them jerk away as if they've been caught.

"Hey, guys, it's been fun and all, but Yasha and I are going back to the suite," Beau calls. "Is it okay if we just leave Frumpkin out here, or-"

" _Ja!"_ Caleb calls, a little strangled. 

"Hang on, I'll be there in a second," Molly calls. "I want to talk to Yasha." Caleb feels a sting of embarrassment- is Molly looking for an excuse to get away? But Molly presses his lips to Caleb's again, quickly. He gets up rapidly, straightening his jewelry, and Caleb gets up, awkwardly. 

"We-" he says, coughing. "Ah, so-"

"Later?" Molly asks.

"Later," Caleb agrees. He's still not entirely sure what just happened, and wants to process it, preferably when he's not drunk.

Molly smiles, nods, and slips out. 

Caleb waits until the suite door closes before he exits, picks up a sleepy Frumpkin, and returns to his room, running his fingers through Frumpkin's fur, a little shell-shocked. He sits there for a while before deciding he'll deal with it tomorrow, and that he'll just... continue his plans for tonight as if nothing has happened. He brushes his teeth and changes back into pajamas, and manages to get through another two documentaries before he falls into an uneasy sleep.

 


	13. Chapter 13

Caleb wakes up with a throbbing head. It's not bad, but for a second he wonders why his head is hurting, before he remembers the previous night; the agreement with Molly, the drinking, leaving Beau and Yasha alone, and...

Oh.

Right.

Caleb groans softly and buries his face in his pillow. Frumpkin makes an inquisitive sound and noses at his hand.

"What am I going to do?" he whispers softly to the cat. "What did I do last night?"

He sits up sluggishly, pulling out his phone. His heart speeds up as he sees that he's got a new message from Molly.

 

 **Molly:** so uh. we should probably talk sometime this afternoon when we aren't hungover or drunk huh

 

Caleb makes a strangled noise deep in his throat. Truthfully, he could probably go out right now and talk to Molly, but on the other hand, he really needs to figure out what happened last night.

Molly had kissed him. That, he could understand; it wasn't like Molly didn't flirt with anyone. But then Molly had pulled back, and Caleb, for some reason, had decided to lean forward and kiss Molly, and....

This wasn't helping.

Caleb gets up, grabbing his computer, and starts a spreadsheet. Organization is what he's used to, the only way he can think to process this right now. He titles the first two columns "I like Molly/Molly likes me" and "This was a complete random occurrence".

**I like Molly/ Molly likes me:**

-We used to hang out a lot and study

-I think he is attractive? Maybe?

-He has called me cute

-I am okay with him touching me

-He seems to enjoy touching me

-He flirts with me

 

**This was a complete random** **occurrence:**

-Molly may have only hung out with me by myself to study

-Molly flirts with everyone

-Molly was very drunk at the time and so was I

 

Caleb glares at the paper. There's a solid argument to be made either way. He gnaws at his lip and is about to pull out his computer to start a spreadsheet when there's a rap at his door and Molly calls, "Caleb? You up?"

Caleb curses softly and closes his laptop. " _Ja,"_ he says. "Just let me get dressed."

He hastily pulls on his new jeans- a present from Nott- and a plain navy t-shirt. Nervously, he looks in the mirror, smoothing his hair and wishing he had brushed his teeth. His head is still aching, but he pushes that to the back of his mind and opens the door, trying to seem casual. " _Hallo,_ Molly."

"Good morning!" Molly says cheerfully, stepping past him into his room and plopping down on his bed. "Or rather, good afternoon. Have you been asleep this whole time?"

"Most of it," Caleb says awkwardly, leaning against the wall. He crosses his arms and then re-crosses them, trying to look as if he isn't three minutes away from an anxiety attack. It doesn't seem to work, and Molly sighs.

"Look," he says, more earnestly than Caleb has heard him sound for- well, maybe ever. "I'm sorry about last night, that was a mistake."

"Ah," Caleb says, trying to ignore the feeling of his stomach sinking. A mistake, that's all that it was.

"I should have asked," Molly says softly. "I'm sorry, it was wrong of me to do that to... to  _you,_ of all people." He laughs awkwardly. "I don't want this to ruin our friendship, yeah?"

"Do not worry," Caleb says stiffly. "I don't take any offense."

"Unless," Molly says, "you, I don't know. Did you, uh. Want that to be something?"

"I was drunk," Caleb says, in lieu of an answer. He's not really sure what he wants from Mollymauk; part of him is screaming  _you idiot, you are worse than Beau, just tell him the truth, tell him you are uncertain but open to finding out,_ while another part of him balks at the idea of putting himself out there. He trusts Mollymauk with most things, but making himself vulnerable to him in such a way is not exactly an appealing thought. He can easily imagine Molly laughing at that. It's not a pretty picture. "I wasn't thinking much." 

"Cool," Molly says, smiling brightly. "Cool cool cool cool cool. So uh, we cool?"

" _Ja."_

"Cool," Molly says. "That's great. Everything is great! It's great." He gets up, clearing his throat. "Uh, anyway, I've got lines to memorize, so," he snaps his fingers, "guess I'll get back to that!"

"I thought you had an ensemble part?" Caleb asks, frowning. Molly had complained about it for almost half a week before Jester told him to shut up and be happy that he doesn't have to attend every rehearsal. Jester, it turns out, is doing costume design for the show, and is almost as stressed about it as Molly is.

"Well, yeah," Molly says, smile not faltering. "But I have a couple of lines still, and, well, I'm not very smart."

"Don't say that," Caleb says automatically. It's something Molly often said when they studied together and he hit a roadblock. "You are not smart, you just need to figure out a method of learning that works well for you. Do you want to try reading the lines with me?" 

"No, I'm good," Molly says. "Thank you, though, darling." He reaches for Caleb, and for a second Caleb thinks Molly is going to kiss him again, but Molly just pulls him into a tight hug, kissing the top of his head. He releases Caleb a moment later and, with a flourish, slips out of the door, leaving Caleb with the sinking sensation that somehow, he's just taken several steps backwards.

He opens up his computer.

**I like Molly/ Molly likes me:**

-I felt disappointed/hurt when Molly said it was a mistake (although that may just be a knee-jerk reaction to something I did being called a mistake)

**This was a complete random** **occurrence:**

-Molly said it was a mistake and only happened because we were drunk

-Molly said that it was stupid to kiss me, of all people

 

He sighs, and almost deletes the whole spreadsheet. He changes his mind, and instead names it, "Number theory proofs" and buries it in his high school files, where nobody but him will ever look for it. 

He spends most of the day feeling listless and restless, for reasons that he refuses to think about. Instead, he dives into more binge-watching, doing his level best to ignore his feelings. He gets a notification halfway through a documentary and clicks over. It's from Jester

 

 **Jester:** hi Caleb!!!! hope you are having a great time :) <3 <3

 **Jester:** the concert was really fun!! but Fjord and I got super drunk last night and he says he felt sick 

 **Jester:** he'll be back tonight so please make sure he does ok!! I worry about him

 **Caleb:** Do not worry about him, I am sure he will be fine. 

 **Jester:** yes I hope so! we were having a really good time too :/ 

 **Jester:** I thought we were going to kiss honestly 

 **Jester:** do you think he really likes me? 

 **Caleb:** I think I am unqualified to talk about this, but I believe so,  _ja._

 

He exits back to his documentary. The last thing he needs in his life right now is more drama.

It's almost eleven when he decides to call it a night. He yawns, stretches, and is halfway done with changing into his pajamas when there's a heavy knock on the door. For a second, he blankly wonders why Molly is bothering him again. Then Fjord calls, "Caleb? Really need you to be awake," and Caleb, stumbling into his pajama pants, opens the door.

Fjord looks stressed in a way that Caleb hasn't seen him look before. Before he can ask what's wrong, Fjord takes him by the shoulders and pushes him into the room, pressing the door shut. Caleb tenses, yanking away from Fjord.

"Sorry, Caleb," Fjord says, looking around nervously. "I need you to be real fuckin discreet here, okay?"

"What is it?" Caleb asks. "It is eleven, Fjord, can't this wait till tomorrow-"

Fjord opens his hand. Caleb has to blink several times before he can understand what he's seeing. Inside Fjord's hand is a pulsing ball of black-green.... something. It's definitely not natural, and Caleb looks up, meeting Fjord's eyes. They're full of panic.

"I felt it," Fjord says, gesturing at his stomach. "Here, like you said." 

" _Ja,"_ Caleb says. 

"So..." Fjord says. "What do we do?"

Caleb doesn't answer, pulling out his phone.

 

 **Quietboi:** Emergency meeting. Our suite.

 **Quietboi:** Things are about to get complicated.


	14. Chapter 14

Things happen pretty fast, after that.

They exit into the suite to find Molly standing outside, looking worried. He asks questions, and Caleb keeps cutting him off. "When we are all together," he says tersely. If Fjord is like him, he won't want to tell the story more than once. "Can you Skype in Jester?" 

"Is it safe?" Fjord asks. "Caleb, I asked you to be  _discreet,_ I- I don't want to be caught, or-"

"They don't go looking for you," Caleb says. "Unless you do something crazy." 

Fjord's shoulders sag with relief. "Oh. I thought, uh, maybe there was more of a government conspiracy, or-"

Molly's eyebrows are all the way up, but he stays silent, getting his computer. Caleb takes his own laptop, calling Nott. She picks up almost immediately.

"What is it?" she asks. "What's wrong?"

"We are having a team meeting," Caleb says. "Give it a minute."

Beau and Yasha arrive a few minutes later.

"What happened?" Beau asks immediately. "Did whats-her-face-Prucine catch you practicing or someth- Fjord? I thought you were up with Jester?"

"He was," Jester says from Molly's computer. She looks grumpy at being disturbed, lying in a hotel bed. "Hi, Fjord, are you feeling better?"

"Uh, yeah," Fjord says awkwardly. "Sorry about that, Jester, that was, uh, a lie. I kinda panicked."

"Oh," Jester says. "You know, Fjord, if you don't want to spend time together, you can just tell me-"

"No!" Fjord says, flushing. "That's not it- Okay, look, let me start at the beginning, yeah?"

They all quiet down, and Fjord says, "All right. So, we were getting super drunk, right? And I think I must have fainted, or blacked out, or something, and... I don't know, I had this really weird dream. And then when I woke up I felt what all of y'all were describing." He waves his hand at all of them. "And, uh, now I can do this." He conjures up the pulsating energy in his hand. The effect is mixed. Molly whistles, sitting back. Yasha's eyebrows go up. Beau swears and sits back in her chair, rubbing her eyes.

"Are you shitting me?" she asks nobody in particular. "I'm the  _only one_ in this group that can't do magic? This is such bullshit."

"What is it?" Nott asks. Jester nods, the video lagging slightly. 

"I can't see!" she says. Fjord angles his hand better, and her eyes widen. "Wait, you-"

"What is it?" Nott asks again. "I can see it, just... what is it?"

"Good question," Molly says. "Have you tried touching it? Or, I don't know, putting it on something? Is it tangible?"

"Good fucking question," Fjord says. "I don't know, I panicked and ran. Figured Caleb would know what to do."

"Why Caleb?" Molly asks peevishly. "I have just as much experience as he does. More, probably."

"Because I know Caleb can keep his fucking mouth shut if he has to," Fjord says.

"Everyone stop arguing!" Jester calls. "Okay, look, this is cool and everything, but it doesn't really change anything, just that Fjord needs to come and practice with us." 

"Great," Beau says, sighing. "Guess I'm alone on Sundays."

"Beau, I'm sorry, but-" Jester starts, and Beau waves a hand.

"No, no, I get it," she says. "Seriously, I do. I don't have any of that stuff here." She bangs lightly on Fjord's torso, just where they all feel the tug.

The energy in Fjord's hand winks out, and Fjord swears, starting to his feet.

"Whoa," Beau says. "Sorry, you good, dude?"

"Yeah," he says, frowning. "Felt really fucking weird, though." He rubs the area. "Pins and needles."

"Your hand thing disappeared," Caleb says. "Was that on purpose?"

"No, I just..." He flicks his hand and frowns. "It's... gone." He looks around at the rest of them, panic in his eyes. "What did I do?"

"Wait, was that me?" Beau says. She frowns and turns towards Molly on her other side. "Hey, dude, come here."

"Before you do anything," Molly says, "shouldn't I be trying to do something with my ability? See if it actually cancels out?"

"Oh, yeah," Beau says. "Good idea."

"Caleb," Molly says. "Sorry." There's a sudden burst of pain, and suddenly Caleb can't see. If not for Molly's warning, he probably would have panicked; as it is, he clenches his hands into fists, willing himself calm. He hears Beau move and Molly grunt softly, and he can see again. He wipes at his eyes. It's alarming to see the blood, but he reminds himself that it's just a side effect, and directs his mind to focus on something else.

"You weren't kidding," Molly says, a little breathless. "Pins and needles for sure." He rubs at the spot. "And..." he squints at Caleb. "Nope. Can't do anything."

"I wanna try something," Beau says, standing and moving towards Caleb, who flinches away. "Relax," she says, rolling her eyes. "I'm not gonna hit you."

"What do you want?" Caleb asks warily.

"Can you do something small and continuous?"

"I can make a small flame."

"Good enough. Do that."

Caleb, reluctantly, obeys, and Beau carefully places her hand on his torso. Slowly, she starts to press down. Caleb concentrates, but as the pressure gets greater, the flame in his hand sputters and winks out. She lets go, and Caleb can feel a slight tingling where her hand has been. He tries to summon fire, and finds that it doesn't come when he calls.

"Holy shit," Beau says. "I think I found, like, a magic off button."

"Yeah," Fjord says glumly. "Lucky me, on my first fuckin day."

"No, this is really cool!" Beau says, turning excitedly towards him. "Means I'm not fuckin useless when, like, those three creepy people following Caleb around attack."

Caleb feels slightly ill at this thought. "The problem, Beau," he says stiffly, "is that you assume you can get close enough to them to hit them."

"Oh yeah, you never told me what they can do," Beau says.

"I assume I never will have to," Caleb shoots back.

"Not to intrude, Caleb," Fjord says apologetically, "but if we are possibly going to be attacked by these people, uh. I for one would like to know what we're up against."

Theres a general murmur of agreement, and Caleb sighs, defeated.

"Eodwulf can bring things back from the dead," he says.

"Holy shit," Beau says. "Like, anything?"

"Last time I saw him, he was limited to only three at once. Two, if one was very large. And they are not really alive, per se, they more are just... animated. They act like rabid beasts, attacking anything that comes near them. They don't stop until you've basically hacked them apart or otherwise destroyed them."

"Shit," Fjord says. "That's nasty."

"But that shouldn't prevent me from sneaking up on him and punching him," Beau points out. "Little bit of a pop-pop-pop, and I think wolf boy is down for the count, yeah? What happens when he's unconscious?"

"When he loses concentration, they... fall apart is a bad word," Caleb says. "It is like they run out of battery."

"Okay, so Eodwulf isn't dangerous, it's more just his creatures," Nott says. Caleb jumps; he had forgotten she was still there. "Astrid is more dangerous."

"She can... exude poison? I don't really know how to describe it. She sends out sprays of poison."

"Like, poison poison, or..."

"Most of it just burns like acid," Caleb says. He tries not to think of the experiments Astrid and Ikathon did with her poison. "And she can make a kind of gas, sometimes, when she was particularly angry. That will kill you, eventually."

"I can remove poison," Molly points out. "If she manages that, I think Yasha and I can handle it."

"And, again," Beau says. "I punch her in her.... I don't know, magic gland? And no more poison."

" _Ja,"_ Caleb says. "And that leaves Ikathon."

"Who can do..." Molly prompts.

"I am not entirely sure," Caleb confesses. "But I have a suspicion. I think it is something to do with the weather."

"Weather, huh?" Beau says. "Doesn't sound too bad."

"Storms can destroy just as easily as fire," Caleb points out. "And it is much more versatile. Besides, he has been living and practicing with it for, oh, at least twenty years more than the rest of us. Even if he had the wrong idea, he probably can do a lot more than we can."

"Well, if all else fails, I can just trick him," Jester says airily. "Or make him think that the magic police are coming to arrest him."

"I do not know that that will work," Caleb murmurs, gnawing at his lip.

"Well," Molly says, clapping. Everyone startles someone. "This has been fascinating, but I, for one, am going to bed."

Everyone agrees and begins getting up and shuffling away. Nott hangs up immediately, but Fjord says, timidly, to Molly, "Uh, can I borrow your laptop? I wanna talk to Jester for a bit. I think I have an apology to make, yeah?"

"Go ahead," Molly says, clapping him on the back. Fjord nods and retreats into their room, leaving Caleb and Molly alone together.

"Prucine really was unlucky, wasn't she?" Molly asks after the silence grows awkward.

" _Ja,_ " Caleb says. "Having her spy end up with his own ability."

Molly chuckles. "Maybe the gods are watching over us."

"Jester's must be, at least," Caleb says. "Do you know, I have scanned through every book in the used bookstore, and there is not a single mention of any god called the Traveller, but..." he shakes his head, marveling. "He must be real. I do not know how else Jester learned what even Ikathon didn't know about people like us."

"Ikathon..." Molly says, shaking his head. "Do you know, you've never really explained what happened, why these people are after you."

Caleb sighs. "At my old school, he was a teacher, he caught me playing with fire," he says quickly, as if saying the words rapidly will make them easier. "He had a club, Astrid and Eodwulf and me, and he would try to get us to do more and more. He would hurt us," he says, and for a second, feels weak for admitting that, weak for wanting Molly's pity and compassion. "And when we got caught, it... it was my fault. They escaped, and I surrendered, and I believe he considers that to be a betrayal."

"Why?" Molly asks. "Trying to usurp power in the empire, like Lucien did?"

"I do not think so," Caleb says. "He always was a staunch supporter. I think he just wanted a weapon, to be honest. Wanted more power."

"Sounds insane," Molly says brightly. "Now, when you say he hurt you..."

"It wasn't bad," Caleb says quickly. He laughs harshly and gestures to Molly's scars. "Not like you have had to endure."

"I don't remember most of these," Molly says dismissively. "And that's majorly fucked up, you know."

Caleb shrugs. "It's why I didn't introduce them to Nott," he says. "A small blessing."

"People always say that kind of thing," Molly says. "Like their misfortune that didn't go entirely wrong is actually some kind of blessing. It's all bullshit. A blessing would have been if you hadn't met him in the first place."

"I do not know," Caleb says. "I think I deserve a certain amount of suffering."

"Why?"

Caleb shakes his head. "It's a long story."

"I'm already awake," Molly says reasonably.

"It's a story I don't really want to tell, then," Caleb admits, dragging a hand through his hair. "I was... not a very good person, I think. For a while."

"Who cares?" Molly says. "I think you're a good person now, at least."

Fjord sticks his head out the door. "Sorry, Molly," he says, smiling wryly. "We're all good, now."

"Jester thoroughly berated you?"

"Yep." He sighs. "I'm gonna go wash up." He leaves, leaving their room door ajar.

"I should get some sleep," Caleb says, standing and stretching.

"Sure," Molly says. "But, Caleb, if... if you ever need to talk about something, then.... I mean, gods know what I've done in my past life. I won't judge. And I really do want you to be happy."

" _Danke,_ Mollymauk," Caleb says quietly. He has no intention of taking Molly up on that offer.

Molly stands and wraps him in a gentle hug. "I mean it," he says softly into Caleb's ear. "I know I haven't acted like a good friend, lately. I was selfish, and... well, I could say I won't be selfish again, but that's a lie. But I'll try to be a better friend."

"You have not been selfish at all," Caleb says. He awkwardly pats Molly's back. "I think we are good here."

"Yeah," Molly says, stepping away. Caleb sighs as Molly's warmth retreats, stepping back himself. "Anyway, goodnight."

" _Guten Nacht,_  Molly," Caleb says sleepily. "See you tomorrow."

"Until tomorrow."


	15. Chapter 15

Caleb doesn't usually dream.

Usually, his sleep is deep, quiet, nothing more than fragments of images appearing in his mind at certain times. Usually.

Tonight, though, his sleep is full of screaming, and smoke, and bells ringing, a searing pain in his side, jumbled voices, sirens. He awakens slowly, gradually, with a sickening feeling in his stomach. He has to take a few shaking breaths through it before he can even begin to untangle what's happening. 

It's fear, mostly, and he feels a familiar burning in his eyes. He swipes at his eyes, blinking, staring hard at a light fixture.  _Don't cry,_ some part of him whispers.  _If they see you cry, they'll know you're weak, and they'll hurt you more because of it._ He doesn't know who "they" are; in the past, it was reasonable, with Ikathon. But he's safe now, he doesn't have to worry about that. He has his own room, the day off, he can cry as much as he wants.

He doesn't. He forces himself to hold it off, glaring at the wall, and when that doesn't work, he grabs a clean set of clothes and a towel and walks quickly to the showers. Nobody is there to stop him, nobody is there to see him, and he makes it, shutting himself into the stall. The water and steam will stop his eyes from swelling and puffing. He can cry.

But now, standing there in the shower and the steam, he finds that he can't.

 _What do you want, then?_ It's not so much a thought, it's not  _him_ thinking this, it's some horrible, nasty part of himself, standing separate from his rational thoughts, sneering at him.  _Either you want to cry or you don't. Make up your mind._

Caleb rubs his hands over his face, trying to push that part away, but it's awake now, feeding off his dream, and it whispers,  _or maybe you can't cry because you know it's selfish._ He shakes his head, as if that will physically cause the thoughts to exit, but it's already taking hold of him now, and he feels part of him resist, pushing back, but it's not enough. 

_You're crying because you're guilty, but it's not for anyone you hurt. You're crying for yourself. You're being selfish._

Caleb turns off the water, feeling numb, detached. He dries off perfunctorily and changes into his clothes. The fear from the morning has developed into a dull, aching sensation, and he walks quickly into his room, trying to take deep breaths, clear his mind. It doesn't work.

_Feeling guilty for being selfish is just as bad. You're still only thinking about yourself._

"Shut up," Caleb whispers softly.

_Trying to push it away because you're selfish_

"Shut up," he says again, and his eyes are burning.

_Ignoring how terrible a person you are is selfish_

"Shut up," he says, squeezing his eyes shut.

_And thinking about how terrible a person you are is just guilt and guilt is selfish_

He's crying, now, he knows, and he feels a rush of loathing, bubbling sluggishly up his spine. 

_Weak. Weak, and selfish. Stop crying and fix everything._

He can't, and he buries his face in his fists, as if he can crush the thoughts down into silence. He's not sure how long he stays that way, tears oozing past his palms, every thought amplifying itself and the deep ache of hatred lodging itself in his stomach, but at some point, there's a knock on the door, and Molly calls, "Caleb, let's go to lunch, we're all starving because we all missed breakfast."

_You haven't told them because you're a coward. You don't deserve nice things. Tell them, right now, or you're being selfish again._

There's another knock on the door.

"Caleb, I know you're in there, I heard you leave to take a shower." There's a murmured conversation, and then Molly says, "Are you all right in there?"

He can't answer, struggling to breathe.

_You're only ever thinking of yourself and your happiness and you are so selfish_

"Caleb, unless you say something, I'm coming in."

_You want him to see you like this so that he'll pity you and you don't deserve pity because you're only feeling bad because you're so selfish selfish SELFISH-_

There's a hand on his shoulder, and Molly whispers, "Shit."

He's numb, but looks up, and whispers, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm  _sorry,"_ and Molly pats his shoulder and turns away, calls, "Actually, go on without me, I think he's sick." Fjord's voice rumbles something, and Molly says lightly, "No, nothing major, I think. I just want to make sure he's okay. Don't bring Yasha, it's fine." 

_Stop letting him do this, kick him out, you are the worst_

Molly sits down next to Caleb and lightly places a hand on his back. A better man, Caleb thinks dully, would deny himself that comfort, flinch away from it, tell Molly to leave.

Caleb is not that man.

He leans into the touch, fighting the urge to pull Molly to him, and then suddenly Molly's arms are around him, one hand gently clasping Caleb's head to his chest, and Caleb buries his face in Molly and sobs as quietly as he can. Molly's hand gently runs through his hair, and he's murmuring something Caleb can't make out, rocking Caleb gently. 

"I'm sorry," Caleb whispers into Molly's shirt. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm-"

"It's okay," Molly says, more distinctly. "It's okay, Caleb, shhh, it's okay, I've got you-"

If this was intended to calm Caleb, it doesn't work. Caleb feels like everything he's been thinking is dredged up, all at once, and shakes with the effort not to cry like a baby. Molly, to his credit, doesn't seem to mind, and rubs his free hand in circles on Caleb's back. Caleb waits, exhausted, for his inner voice to come back, chide him for taking comfort from Molly, but it seems to have disappeared.

"It's okay," Molly is still murmuring. "It's all right, love, you're safe." 

Caleb manages to take a few shaking breaths, pulling away from Molly, who lets go immediately.

"Molly, I am a mess, I'm-"

"I swear to the gods, if you apologize again, I will have to kill you," Molly says. There's a large wet spot on his shirt, and Caleb flushes.

"I have ruined your shirt," he says. "If you leave it here, I can wash it, and you can wear another one to lunch."

"I'm not hungry."

"You just said that you were starving."

"Yeah, fine, but... I'm not leaving you like this."

"It is what I deserve."

"I don't think it is."

"I have done a lot of bullshit, Molly."

"You know," Molly says, settling back against the cushion, "you act like I don't expect that."

"If people knew what I have done-"

"They'd probably not care, because they know you as you are now, and you're not a bad person."

"Molly-"

"Look. Just try me, okay?"

Caleb shivers, and leans back into Molly, unbidden. Molly settles back onto Caleb's pillow, wrapping an arm around him.

"I mentioned that we got caught," Caleb says, a little unbelieving that he's saying this. "Me, and Ikathon, and Astrid and Eodwulf. And it was because of me. I- he hurt me, Ikathon, maybe worse than he intended. Threw me hard into a sharp cornered desk, cut my side open, bruised my ribs. I lost control, and before I knew it..." He opens a closed fist. "Poof, the whole room up in flames. We all got out, but it was spreading, and the fire alarm was going, and... It was one of the main buildings, Molly. There were  _people_ in there. They caught us outside- Prucine and people like her, I mean. They had found Eodwulf's things, and they told us to surrender, and...." He closes his eyes. "I was the only one who did, and I think I went into shock, and... and by the time I really was myself again, I was in their quarantine."

"Did anyone die?" Molly asks. It's almost offhanded. Caleb laughs, feeling tears well up again.

"Do you know what's pathetic, Molly? I don't know. They never told me, and I've been too scared to look it up and find out. I'm a coward."

"So, what?" Molly asks. "You think you're a bad person because you accidentally started a fire?"

"I should have-" Caleb begins, but Molly cuts him off.

"Sweetheart, I don't care about could have or couldn't have. I'm just here to say that, well... I don't think that's that bad."

"I could be a murderer," Caleb says, too tired for there to be any real venom. "We don't know."

"You could find out," Molly says. "Besides, more manslaughter than murder. Totally different ballpark."

"You are very cavalier about this."

"I told you, it doesn't change that I care about you," Molly says simply. "Now, if we want to get food, we should get you cleaned up." He stands up, all business. "I'll be right back."

He returns a few minutes later with a wet washcloth and a glass of water. "Drink," he says. "And keep this over your eyes, reduce the swelling."

It only helps so much. Caleb's eyes are still obviously swollen, but Molly shrugs. "Close enough. I said you were sick."

" _Ja,_ let's go," Caleb says. He doesn't feel much like eating, but he feels bad for keeping Molly from his meal.

Molly holds his hand the entire way there, which feels... odd. On one level, the comfort of contact helps calm him, but his rational mind overthinks it, especially in the context of his conflicted emotions on Molly. He pushes that back for another time and squeezes Molly's hand.

Before they enter, Molly pulls him to the side.

"You sure you're okay with this?" he asks, worry in his eyes. "There'll be people there, and it might be loud. We can sit somewhere else, if you prefer?"

"It will be fine," Caleb tells him. And it's the truth.

As long as Molly is holding his hand, he will be fine.

 

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

Molly doesn't let go of his hand until they reach the table. Jester has, evidently, returned, and she and Fjord are sitting next to each other, so close that for a minute, Caleb thinks that Jester is sitting in Fjord's lap. Beau and Yasha are sitting on the other side. As he watches, Beau glances at Yasha, and as Yasha looks up, Beau quickly looks away. 

"Caleb, are you okay?" Jester asks immediately. "You look really bad, and Molly said you were sick, and also I missed you so much!" 

"I am perfectly fine," Caleb says, shrinking under the pressure of their eyes.

"We were thinking maybe he had some kind of allergic reaction or something, to something in the shower, probably," Molly says smoothly.

"Yeah, probably," Beau says. She gestures to her face. "You're kind of, uh. Puffy."

"Do you want me to try to, uh," Yasha says awkwardly. She waves a hand in his general direction. 

"Not in public, dear," Molly reminds her. "Besides, we think it's fading." 

"Well, if you ever need some of my antihistamines," Fjord says. "I keep 'em on me. Just in case I run into something with dander."

"That is kind of you, but I believe I am fine now," Caleb says. He shoots a grateful look at Molly, who clears his throat and looks away very suddenly. Under his purple skin, Caleb thinks he sees a hint of pink.

"Well, anyway," he says, "I'm going to go grab some food." And he walks away.

"What about you?" Beau asks. She's the closest to him. "You hungry, man?"

" _Nein,"_ Caleb says. "I came for the company, that is all."

"You need to eat  _something,_ " Jester says. Over time, Caleb has come to realize that she's the mom friend of the group. "Otherwise you'll be all sad and tired all day, and it'll be really boring, and I thought we might experiment with what happened last night, and you need to have all your energy for that."

"Oh," Beau says, deflating. "I guess I'll go hang out with Nila or someone, then."

"Don't be silly, Beau, I want to see if we can figure out how to take down the people who might come looking for Caleb," Jester says. "And I said what happened last night, which includes your, you know," she imitates Beau punching.

"Oh, cool," Beau says. She looks at Caleb, her eyes glistening suspiciously. "Cool cool cool. Perfect, yeah, uh, that sounds fun."

"It won't be," Molly says, sitting heavily and placing a heavily laden tray on the table. He shoves a bowl at Caleb. "Here, I got you some soup."

"Thank you," Caleb says, poking suspiciously at it. He's never had the soups, but it looks reasonably safe.

He eats quietly, listening to Jester and Molly's lively back and forth. He finishes early, and has to resist the temptation to lean back onto Molly's shoulder. He sighs. He really ought to update his spreadsheet, see if he can tell if he likes Molly as a friend or wants him as... well, more than a friend. He yawns, exhausted from his earlier antics.

"You going to be awake enough to work with us?" Molly asks, and Caleb startles back to awareness. His bowl and spoon have disappeared, along with Molly's dishes, Fjord, and Jester. Beau and Yasha are getting up.

" _Ja,_ sorry," he says hastily. "Er, where are we going?"

"Pillowtrove," Molly says. "Doing okay, still?"

"I am fine now, Molly," Caleb says, feeling a flush creep into his face. 

"Just checking," Molly says defensively. "Anyway, let's go."

They arrive at the suite a little after everyone else. Somehow, Caleb's hand has found its way into Molly's again, but it's a polite grasp, their fingers aren't intertwined, and Caleb forces himself to think that Molly is doing it to stabilize him. He squeezes Molly's hand before letting go, and Jester claps her hands together and says, "Okay, so we stole some stuff from the dining hall to see what happens." She opens her bright pink backpack, and pulls out a glass, some silverware, a pile of napkins, and, wrapped in another napkin, some lettuce.

"Why," Beau asks, looking pained, dangling a shred of lettuce between two fingernails.

"What if it only affects organic matter?" Jester says reasonably. "Okay, Fjord, can you do your thing?"

Fjord struggles for a second, but manages to summon it in the palm of his hand again. Cautiously, Jester takes out a napkin, and backs away, holding it as far from her as she can.

"Should have waited for Nott," Molly says idly.

Jester glares at him, and then drops the napkin, jerking away. It settles down onto Fjord's hand, and immediately shoots into the air after touching the energy.

"Huh," Fjord says. "I wonder if..." He hesitates. "Hey, Beau, can you put that glass down on the table?"

Beau, warily, grabs the glass and places it on the edge. "Here?"

"That'll do," Fjord says, crouching. He summons the energy again and points his hand, palm-first, at the table.

There's a loud sound, a blur, and Caleb doesn't understand what's happened until he sees the trail of glass shards leading to the wall, and his brain realizes that the energy shot from Fjord's hand and hit the glass, shattering it and pushing it in a shower to the wall.

"Holy  _shit,_ dude, that was  _so cool!"_ Beau says excitedly. "Do it again, I want to see it again!"

"You have some kind of projectile ability, huh," Molly says, looking delighted. "That'll be fun to deal with."

"Yep," Fjord says, looking queasy. "Cool. Uh, I think I'm gonna avoid this for now, until I figure out how y'all control it better."

"Aw, come on, Fjord," Jester says. "It's really cool, and-"

"Not now, Jes." Caleb feels his eyebrows go up at the nickname. Fjord coughs, and hastily says, "What about Beau?"

"Yeah, I was thinking," Beau says. "So, I know how to, like, shut people down, but we don't know how long that lasts, do we?"

"It seems to be proportional to the amount of force you apply," Caleb volunteers. "If you only press, its gone for a few seconds, but if you actually, properly hit it, who knows?"

"Cool," Beau says. "So, should I, like, punch one of you to see how long it takes?"

Everyone takes a step back, except for Molly, who shrugs and says, "I'm cool with that, if we want to find out what happens."

"Okay," Beau says, facing Molly. Caleb has to fight the urge to cover his ears. "Sorry, dude." Her hand moves fast, and Molly doubles over, gasping.

" _Ow,_ " he says, when he can breathe again. "Gods above, Beau, I didn't think you were going to punch at full force."

"I didn't," Beau says smugly.

"Cool," Molly says, wincing. "Wonderful." He gets up to his feet, and Caleb, unthinkingly, holds out a hand to support him. "I can't do shit right now, so I'm going to go sit down and wait to see when I can blind you, you dick."

Beau shrugs. "Fair enough, I guess. In the meantime, is there some way I can tell when you guys are about to use your magic? So I can dodge, or whatever?"

Jester shrugs. "I don't know. Want to see?" 

They all take turns repeatedly using their respective magics. It's not particularly fruitful. 

"I dunno," Beau says eventually, leaning back. "It's not like punching, you know? It's not like you all have the same quirk, but like, Caleb's eyes narrow when h's doing it, and Jester's tail stops moving, and I'm sure there's one for everyone, but it seems like it's different. I think I need to just be on my gu- ow!" 

She rubs at her eyes, and Caleb sees a smear of red-brown fluid. Next to her on the sofa, Mollymauk sighs in a self-satisfied manner. "Seven minutes," he says smugly.

"Cool," Beau says, blinking. "A warning next time, maybe?"

Yasha's hand descends on Molly's shoulder, and the tiefling sighs in relief. "Thank you, dear," he says, gazing fondly up at her. "Much better. Yes, I could have, Beau, but it wouldn't have been as satisfying."

They break up before Beau and Molly can start to argue in earnest. Caleb expects Fjord to return with them, but the half-orc shuffles his feet nervously.

"Actually, Caleb, uh... I was thinking of hanging with Jester for a bit."

"Oh," Caleb says. "That is good, I think?"

"Yeah," Fjord says. "Just, you know, she's a cool woman, and uh. I feel like I owe her some time, after runnin' out on her, and..."

"You do not need to make excuses to me, Fjord," Caleb says, and smiles as he turns to the door. It is genuinely good to see that Fjord and Jester are growing close.

Molly is waiting by the door. "Fjord isn't coming?"

"I don't know," Caleb says, walking past him. "I believe that depends on what he and Jester are doing together."

There's a squawk of laughter, and Molly rushes to catch up with him, grabs his shoulder, spins him towards him. Caleb looks up into his face, his laughing eyes, and feels his lips curl into a smug smile.

"Was that a  _joke,_ Mr. Caleb?"

" _Nein."_

"Shame," Molly says. "It was a good one." 

They stand there for a second, and then Caleb raises his face up, just to see what Molly will do, and Molly leans down and kisses him, and it's surprising but this time Caleb doesn't pull away, closes his eyes and leans into it and-

"Whoa, guys," a familiar voice says, and they whirl, breaking apart, to see Keg, tapping her foot impatiently in the hallway. "Right here? Really? You're in the way."

"Sorry," Molly says, looking entirely unconcerned. He grabs Caleb's hand and runs, Caleb laughing despite his embarrassment and getting dragged along.  _Sorry,_ he mouths at Keg, who is glancing back at them, her eyebrows raised. She waves a hand at him-  _don't mention it._

They're back in the dorm, breathless and laughing, when Molly holds up a hand. "Not that that wasn't fun, but I think we really do need to talk about our, um. Feelings?"

"Oh," Caleb says, feeling anxiety bubble up in his stomach. "I suppose so."

"Or," Molly says, "we could push that off and just make out in your room until Fjord comes back."

"I think I like that option better," Caleb offers. Molly laughs at that. 

"Lead the way then," he says, gesturing at Caleb's locked door. 

Caleb unlocks it and steps inside, and has only barely pocketed his keys again when Molly grabs him and pushes him gently into the wall, covering Caleb's mouth with his own. Caleb thinks, giddily, that it's strange that someone with so little memory is so good at this, and then he doesn't think very much at all, his brain going mercifully silent, a soft, warm feeling resonating through his body.

They hear Fjord enter about an hour later, and break apart, trying to be quiet. They've migrated to the bed at this point, and Molly props himself up on an elbow, smiling in a way that Caleb thinks is genuine. He's sure that he, himself, is grinning like an idiot

"Molly?" Fjord calls. "Caleb? Where did y'all go?"

"We were just talking," Molly calls. "Caleb's room."

"All right," Fjord says. "Jester wants you to know that Nott's getting back soon. Says you aren't answering your messages."

"Oh good," Caleb says. He hopes his voice doesn't sound as strangled to Fjord as it does to himself. "We will be right down."

"All right," Fjord says. They hear him settle on the couch.

"I'm thinking that discussion might need to wait for a little bit," Molly whispers. Caleb nods.

"We will have it, though," he says. 

"Of course," Molly says. He presses one last kiss to Caleb's lips before stretching and swinging his long legs out of bed.

As he opens the door, Caleb can't help but be struck by what an emotional rollercoaster the day has been so far.

He hopes that it continues on the path it's going now.

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

Ordinarily, Caleb would be delighted to see Nott. He's been missing her, the past few days. It brings him back to those days spent in near-complete isolation, messaging her over and over, staring at the wall. 

But ordinarily, seeing Nott again would be the first thing on his mind. Now, there's a bubbling undercurrent of nervousness as he greets her, stooping to catch her in his arms. He mentally pushes that to the back burner of his mind, and smiles down at her.

" _Hallo,_ _Liebling."_

"Hi, Caleb," she says, grinning widely up at him. Despite her delight, Caleb can't help but notice the puffiness under her eyes and her bitten lips. "I missed you."

"I missed you as well," Caleb whispers. She meets his eyes and smiles, and there's a quiet moment of affection that passes between them before Jester barrels into them, sweeping both of them up in her arms, saying, "Oh my  _gosh_ Nott I missed you so much, it was so quiet and there was nobody to help me sneak into the dining hall after dinner-"

"Why would you want to?" Molly asks, wrapping his arms around the three of them.

"Because they have a lot of leftover desserts and I like sweets," Jester says. She glares over Caleb's shoulder. "BEAU! Come over here!"

Beau grumbles but joins in the group hug. Yasha joins without asking, and Fjord, looking awkward, joins as well. It's not so much a hug as a cluster of people at this point, but it feels nice to be surrounded by friends. When they finally separate, Molly's arm remains around Caleb's shoulder. Caleb looks around quickly, guiltily, but nobody seems to notice, so he doesn't shrug Molly's arm off.

"Well," Molly says, voice deceptively casual, "Caleb and I had plans, so if you don't mind..."

"Oh, come ooooon," Jester whines. "Can't we just, you know, catch up, for like an hour? Pleeeeeease?"

Molly caves almost immediately. "All right, it's not urgent, I suppose." He turns to Caleb and mouths,  _Sorry._ Caleb would be lying if he said he wasn't a little relieved.

They migrate, as a flock, carrying Nott's bag for her (Caleb chooses not to remark on the fact that it seems to be heavier than when she left), and giving her a few minutes to unpack.Jester and Fjord are talking, mostly, Jester flirting shamelessly with a blushing Fjord, until Nott comes out, beaming, and Caleb suddenly realizes how much she's changed. It's hard to believe that, just a few months ago, she was convinced that Yasha would hurt her, and now she slips easily under Yasha's arm, baring her teeth at Molly across from her, who reciprocates with a friendly growl of his own. They've solidified, become an actual  _group_ instead of a collection of oddballs. It's nice. 

"Hey, Jester," Beau says. "Why do you always hit on Fjord all the time? It's not like he reciprocates." From anyone else, Caleb would suspect that to be a subtle admonishment. From Beau, however, he suspects it to be genuine curiosity.

"I don't mind," Fjord says, and Caleb hasn't really realized how red green skin can turn.

"Besides," Jester says cheerfully, "it's not like you don't do the same thing with Yasha, and I mean, at least Fjord notices it, and-"

"And what makes you think I don't?" Yasha asks in her usual placid tone. All eyes turn to her, and Fjord's eyebrows begin to rise.

Jester stammers, "No, no, I mean Fjord notices it and likes me, or, well, he doesn't mind, you know-"

"I'm not... very good at social things," Yasha says. "But I think all of you should know by now that if I didn't enjoy it, I would have asked her to stop by now."

There's an awkward silence. Fjord whistles softly, and Beau, her face an interesting shade of rose, says, "Uh, cool. Yeah, that's, uh, good to know."

"....Anyway," Molly says, after an unbearable amount of time has passed. "What did you get up to, Nott?"

"Not much," Nott says, avoiding eye contact. "It was really all I expected. A bunch of reporters taking pictures of me and asking how it felt to be one of the few goblins to attend a prestigious university, and all that."

Nobody really knows what to say to that.

"I told them I wasn't a goblin," Nott says, brightening a little. "And one of them asked what I meant, and then I bit him, so they decided to end the interview then and talk to my parents instead."

Caleb winces. He knows that even that will have resulted for punishment for Nott.

"That is so funny," Jester says, grinning hugely. "I never got interviewed, but I spied on my mother getting interviewed once."

Their ears all perk up. Jester isn't exactly cagey with her background, but none of them feel comfortable asking her about her history.

"What did they ask?" Beau says.

"They asked her who she had fucked, mostly," Jester says thoughtfully. "She told them it was a breach of confidentiality, though, so I think they were pretty annoyed with her."

"Who she had- I'm sorry, what?" Caleb says, trying to process that.

"Didn't I tell you? My mom is the Ruby of the Sea," Jester says, a smug smile spreading across her face.

"From the commercials?" Molly asks, sitting bolt upright. He sings, "The Ruby of the Sea-"

"-is the best lay ever," they all finish with him. 

"Yep!" Jester says, smiling hugely. "Except she couldn't tell anyone I existed, and then I got in trouble, and she sent a letter to the dean, and I got in, and now I'm here!"

"That's amazing," Molly says, sighing. "I saw those commercials all the time when I was with Yasha. Watching TV helped me learn Common, and so I'd watch it late at night, and that commercial always came on..." he grins. "I admire her."

"Her lifestyle, or what they show on the screen?" Fjord asks wryly. Jester elbows him.

"Both," Molly says. "And her flexibility."

They talk for a while longer, settling back into the normal dynamic, and finally Molly, bored, stretches and says, "Well, Caleb and I need to finish a project we've been working on together."

 His tone is casual, but the dormant anxiety in Caleb's stomach resurfaces. He takes a deep breath. This is necessary.

"Okay," Jester says, snuggled into Fjord. "Bye Caleb and Molly! See you at dinner!"

There's a chorus of goodbyes, and a casual nod from Beau, who is still looking at Yasha with huge, wondering eyes.

They arrive at the suite, and Caleb makes to unlock his door, but Molly shakes his head.

"No," he says, looking, for once, uncertain. "I think it's good to be in, uh, a neutral space. Besides, if we go in there, I can't guarantee that I'll be able to stay on track."

Caleb nods, but hesitates. "And if Fjord walks in-"

Molly locks the suite door.

"I suppose that works," Caleb admits. Molly sits on the couch, and for a moment Caleb wrestles with sitting across from him or next to him. He settles on across, and sits, profoundly uncomfortable with the way things are going.

"So," Molly says eventually, "You are... you want to kiss me."

Caleb feels the blood rush to his face. He nods and shrugs, trying not to look at Molly's reaction.

"Is this," Molly says, avoiding his gaze, "is this purely a physical thing, or.... something more? Not that I'll be, be mad at you either way, or..." he trails off lamely.

Caleb wrestles for the right words for a moment before sighing. "Do you know, Molly," he says, half amused, "I'm not entirely sure."

"Okay," Molly says, nodding, "Okay. That's okay." He pauses. "What does that mean?"

"It means..." Caleb says. "I am not entirely sure."

"Is this some bullshitty way of trying to say that you have a crush on me without actually setting yourself up for rejection? Because, Caleb, I can assure you that that kind of thing wouldn't be unwelcome." Caleb glances at Molly's face for the first time. He's wearing an encouraging, if nervous, smile.

" _Nein._ Yes. No." He sighs in frustration. "I cannot say, Molly, it is... complicated."

"Okay," Molly says. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I think I have to," Caleb says.

"I won't make you."

"No, but, I do enjoy kissing you, and I want to be around you, and..." He sighs again. "I have only ever really been in one relationship, and in hindsight, I think that was not a good one, and I cannot tell what is nervousness from that and what is attraction and what is friendship, and it is... complicated."

Molly's expression isn't quite disappointment. "If you don't actually want anything..." he begins again, and Caleb laughs at that.

"I will tell you if I want you to go away, Molly."

"All right."

Caleb pauses, then says, "It was Astrid."

"The person you dated?"

" _Ja._ It was during junior year, and during the holidays, we both stayed at the school, and I mentioned that I had not kissed anyone, and she kissed me, and..." he shrugs. "It felt... strange. Not bad physically, but strange, because I had, had not... I don't know, I never had thought of things that way. But we kept visiting each other, and eventually she started calling me her boyfriend, and I did not correct her. And I came to accept that she was my girlfriend." He smiles wryly. "I do not think she was very satisfied with me. She broke up with me shortly before the incident happened. So, you can understand why, for me, dating is... strange."

"Yeah," Molly says, wincing, "Makes sense."

Caleb hesitates. "Wait here," he says, making a split-second decision. He gets up and fetches his computer, and quickly opens his spreadsheet.

"I have," he says, "been... cataloging evidence since we kissed one time," and he hands the computer to Molly.

Molly reads over it, and after a few seconds begins laughing.

"I'm sorry," he says, trying to restrain himself, "I'm not laughing at you, but Caleb, this is ridiculous."

"It is not," Caleb protests.

"It is the single  _nerdiest_ thing I have ever seen," Molly says. He snorts. "Oh my god, you even mentioned that you think I'm pretty. I'm going to die, Caleb."

"I am not good at feelings," Caleb says, smiling despite himself. 

"I noticed," Molly says, wiping his eyes. "Look, Caleb, let's go out on a date."

"But, I do not know if, if we are compatible, or if we want the same things out of a relationship, or-"

Molly takes his hand over the table. "This isn't a lifetime commitment," he says softly. "It's not even me asking you to be my boyfriend. Just a date. See what happens. You can say no, but..."

Caleb takes a deep breath.  _Just a date._ "I think that will be acceptable," he says. "As long as you are not expecting much from me."

Molly snorts. "Whatever." He sighs. "Actually, I think this went better than I was anticipating."

"For me, as well," Caleb says. He was expecting Molly to want a commitment or nothing, but, thinking about it, Caleb realizes that it is, in fact, possible to go on a ate without asking the other person out.

"Well," Molly says. "I'll, uh, get back to you."

"Okay," Caleb says.

There's a moment where they're awkwardly staring at each other, and then Molly says, awkwardly, "Is... is kissing still okay, or-"

Caleb presses a kiss to his lips, and pulls away. " _Ja,_ just... not in front of others."

"Cool," Molly says. "So, uh, on a date, where would you like to go?"

"I do not know," Caleb says. "Astrid wasn't much for dates. I don't know what's really acceptable."

"Neither do I," Molly says. "Haven't had too much experience, since, you know, being a wanted criminal and forgetting everything before that."

There's silence.

"Coffee it is, then," Molly says.

"Sounds good."

Mercifully, Fjord arrives, sparing Caleb from putting his foot in his mouth through sheer nervousness. He escapes into his room as Molly begins to tease Fjord about a hickey on his neck.

"I'm telling you," Fjord says, muffled through the wall. "She was just doin' it to explain what it was to Nott."

"I'm sure that's what she said," Molly says sweetly.

Caleb, alone in his room, laughs quietly, and lies down on his bed. He shakes his head in baffled wonderment.

He, Caleb Widogast, is going on a  _date._


	18. Chapter 18

If Caleb thinks the date will happen quickly, he's disappointed.

First they have to sort out midterms. Then Caleb gets miserably sick. He manages to drag himself to classes, but immediately falls asleep upon arriving back at the dorm. It takes almost a week for him to be anything close to functional. By the time he's even remotely ready to have a social interaction, it's tech week, and Molly, constantly clutching a mug of coffee, glaring at anyone unlucky enough to be in his general vicinity with crazed, bloodshot eyes, concedes that they might need to wait until it's over. Then it's the show, and then it's finals, and by the time they're both free and in a good headspace for a date, it's winter break.

Yasha has disappeared, which Molly assures them is normal. Jester is uncharacteristically quiet. When Caleb asks why, she says, voice very small, "Well, it's just that this is the first Yule without my mom, and it's really sad because we had all these things we would do together." She perks up, and says, "But don't worry, Caleb, we can all do things together for Yule, it'll be so fun!" Caleb suspects this is just a front, but plays along. 

Nott's parents, happily, have opted to keep her far away, so she's staying. Beau sulks without Yasha, and says gruffly, "Nowhere for me to go," when she's asked why she's not going home for break. Fjord pats her on the back and says, "Me too." From what little Fjord has mentioned, Caleb has gathered that he's an orphan. 

Caleb is reading in the suite, complete with a warm blanket and mug of hot cider that Fjord brought him to ward off the chill that seeps through the windows, when Molly finally approaches him.

"So," he says. "I was thinking we could go to a coffeeshop tomorrow? Finally have that date we talked about?"

Caleb blinks at him. "You still want that?"

Molly's smile flickers for a second. "Do you not?"

" _Nein, nein,"_ Caleb hastens to say. "Just, well, I thought that you might have moved on, found someone less..." he waves his hand to communicate all the things he is.

Molly's smile widens. "Wouldn't dream of it, darling."

Caleb allows himself a small smile. "Then would you object to doing it now? I had plans to go shopping for Yule presents with Nott tomorrow."

"Eager, aren't we?" Molly teases. "That's fine by me. Bring your coat, though, it's starting to snow again."

Caleb enters his room, nervously smoothing his slightly rumpled shirt. It doesn't help, and he sighs and covers it with his beaten-up coat. He leaves the suite to find Molly leaning against the doorframe, looking supremely nonchalant.

"I was thinking we could go somewhere other than the campus center cafe," he says, starting to walk. Caleb has to jog to catch up. "There's a little place I've heard good things about, it's a ten minute walk. Sound good?"

" _Ja,"_ Caleb says. Truth to be told, he would be on edge in the campus center, constantly worried one of the other members of their little group would walk in and join them.

"It's called the Song and Supper," Molly says conversationally. "Apparently there's always live music."

"That's nice," Caleb says awkwardly.

"I considered seeing if I could get a spot there, you know?" Molly says. "I don't know, build my brand? They don't seem super picky. But I thought it might be weird to sing unaccompanied. I really need to pick up guitar or keyboard."

He continues chattering in that vein until they reach the Song and Supper. Caleb is mostly smiling and nodding, interjecting when it seems like Molly is trailing off, and it takes him a while to realize that this babbling is Molly being  _nervous._ Somehow, that soothes him a bit, calms the ebbing nervousness bubbling in his chest. 

They enter in a swirl of piano music and cold air. It's warm, almost too hot, inside, and Caleb immediately strips off his coat once they find a table, thankful that at least his shirt has short sleeves. Molly drapes his coat over his chair. "What do you want, coffee? Tea? Hot cocoa? Cider again?"

"Hot chocolate, I think," Caleb says. "And I will pay."

"You will do no such thing," Molly says cheerfully. "I have plenty of money from.... other things." Caleb knows full well that Molly charges a modest fee for those looking to get alcohol underage. 

"So do I," Caleb says. When Molly frowns, confused, Caleb smugly says, "Tutoring."

"Well, well," Molly says. "Color me impressed. I suppose I owe you about 300 dollars in back charges?"

"Free for my friends," Caleb says.

"And I'm your friend now?"

"Of course," Caleb says, shyly. "More, possibly."

Molly opens his mouth as if to say something, closes it again, and leaves to go get their drinks. When he emerges from the throng of people waiting for drinks, he says, "I didn't realize you had a job. When do you even have time for that?"

"I do not really need to study," Caleb says, embarrassed. "I have a- a, er, photographic memory. I thought it would be a productive way of..." he trails off. "Why are you looking at me like that."

"You mother  _fucker,_ " Molly says, looking outraged. "After all the bullshit you gave me for not studying, and you just get away scot free?"

"I still have to do problem sets and reading, and-"

"'Oh, no, Mollymauk, studying is an essential skill for college,'" Molly says in a whispery rasp that Caleb can only assume is an imitation of his voice. 

"It is important to remember information," Caleb says, twisting his fingers. "It is just that, that I remember easily, and..."

"Hey, easy there," Molly says, alarmed. "I was just teasing, Caleb, really. It worked, didn't it? I didn't fail."

"I suppose not." 

There's silence as they both try their drinks. The hot chocolate is surprisingly bitter, thick and rich, and Caleb winces a little, internally. It's not terribly pleasant- he prefers it to be light and sweet.

"What happened to your arm?" Molly says suddenly, pointing at a thin scratch. 

"Frumpkin."

"Ah."

"He objected to me petting him suddenly," Caleb says bitterly. "Little  _arschloch."_

"When did you even get him?" Molly asks conversationally.

Caleb looks down. "When... when I was first in custody, I broke, a little. I... I didn't speak, I barely ate, I... I wasn't a real person." He sighs. "They brought in this woman, a therapist, I think. I only saw her twice. The second time, she brought Frumpkin." He smiles a little at the memory. "The therapy helped, I think. It wasn't enough to, to... fix me, I suppose. But Frumpkin, he kept me sane after that. When I'm anxious, he purrs, and..."

"That's fucked up," Molly says. "I mean, I understand why they wouldn't do that for me, but... clearly, you were in some kind of emotional distress there, and they thought two sessions with a therapist would be enough?"

"It helped," Caleb says. "I never saw her again. I think they fired her, because she thought the environment I was in wasn't healthy, or safe, or..." Memories: muffled arguments outside his door in the sterile room he had come to think of as his home as he played with Frumpkin, raised voices, slamming doors.

"She was right," Molly says. "Gods know I almost went insane." He shakes his head. "I think we're doing dates wrong, aren't we?"

" _Ja,_ probably," Caleb says, attempting lightheardness. "Probably talking about our shared history of government imprisonment is not a usual date activity. I think we are supposed to ask other things."

"Like what?"

"Like...." Caleb struggles to think of what people talk about in movies and books. As far as he can remember, a lot of them involve people falling in love spontaneously, quickly, head over heels. There's no awkward dating talk. "Like... what do you like? What's your favorite color, your favorite food, your.... What makes you happy?"

"Many things," Molly says, beaming. "I like very many things, Mr. Caleb. I like purple, and gold, and ice cream, and sun, and going for a picnic, and snow, and spinning people such a good tale that they pay you for it, and I like plants, and I like liquor, and I like you, Caleb."

Caleb blushes, and Molly's smile widens, if that's possible. "And I like that you turn red so easily."

"I do not know that I do," Caleb mutters, but he smiles nonetheless. 

"It's very cute," Molly says, leaning towards him, chin propped on his elbows. "If you could figure it out how to do it on command, I'm sure half the boys in the college would be swooning over you."

"Only the boys?"

Molly snorts. "We're all gay here, Caleb, don't try to pretend we're not."

Caleb makes a noncommittal noise.

"Or bi?"

Caleb smiles wryly. "Are you trying to get information out of me, Mr. Mollymauk?"

"Perhaps."

Caleb chuckles. "I haven't thought about it much," he confesses. "To tell the truth, I tried to avoid thinking about it. I thought that I didn't deserve anyone."

"Past tense?"

Caleb sits and thinks. "Maybe. I... things are easier, now, to grant myself. Now that I have people who seem to... seem to think that I am, worthy? Of such things."

Molly sits for a second, hesitating. "You know," he says eventually. "I did look it up. The fire."

Caleb holds perfectly still, a single bolt of terror radiating through his body.

"I just want you to know," Molly says steadily, "that if you're ever curious... I'll tell you about it. And just know that even if the whole fucking school burned to death, I wouldn't hold it against you."

Caleb snorts skeptically.

"No, really," Molly says. "If not a single person thought to get out, that's really on the school for not providing a good exit route."

Caleb furrows his brow.

"All right," Molly says. "A joke in poor taste, perhaps."

"In present company," Caleb says.

"We're back at trauma again," Molly notes. "We really are bad at dates, aren't we?"

"Pretty bad," Caleb says shakily.

"I don't know," Molly says. "I kind of found it comforting, you know, coming here. I thought everyone would be some preppy kid and me and Yasha would have to hang out together. But, coming here," and he makes a general gesture with his hands, "basically everyone has something. Trauma, familial relationship issues, some flavor of mental illness... gods, I feel more at home here than anywhere else. People even ask for my pronouns, half the time. It's been very exciting."

"Oh, right," Caleb says. "I have been meaning to ask, about the pronouns. Bryce finally explained to me what they were, and, and I was wondering..." he trails off awkwardly.

"I really don't care," Molly says, looking amused. "Gender is all bullshit anyway."

"But would you prefer..."

"If I have a preference, I'll tell you," Molly drawls. "I will say that if you call me 'it', I will punch you, though."

"Have people done that?"

"Prucine," Molly says.

"Of course."

"I haven't figured out if it was the tiefling thing or the gender thing or both," Molly says. "Probably both."

Caleb tries to imagine the stiff, sour-faced Prucine in the same room as Molly, and fails miserably. "I think, no offense, that she dislikes the everything about you."

"I take that as a compliment," Molly says cheerfully. "She asked me what I was majoring in once, and I said probably theater, and she clucked and said, 'of course you are.' What does that even fucking mean?"

Caleb doesn't answer. His eyes have long ago wandered from Molly's face, as they are wont to do when serious conversations happen. He's been gazing aimlessly around the crowded cafe, and it eventually settles on a woman- it's not hard, as she's looking at him, a half-smile on her face.

He doesn't recognize her for a second, not with her hair buzzed to the scalp. She gets up, and he realizes who she is just as she gives a little mocking wave, just a wiggle of her fingers.

"Caleb?" Molly asks. He's staring in the same direction as Caleb is, at the woman's retreating back. "Is that-"

"Astrid," Caleb whispers, shaking. "Molly, that was  _Astrid."_

Molly says something but Caleb doesn't hear it. He grabs his coat, flings over his shoulder, and dashes out, oblivious to the chaos he leaves in his way.

He's not safe here.


	19. Chapter 19

Caleb stumbles into his room, ignoring Fjord's startled voice, slams the door, locks it. He grabs for his bag, which he had finally,  _finally_ unpacked, shoves shirts into it, pants, underwear, socks. He takes his computer, his charger cord, his phone, a few packs of instant noodles, and freezes as an inquisitive pair of yellow eyes meet his.

"Ah," he says. He can't take Frumpkin. He knows this. He hesitates, sighs, and crouches down, scratching the cat's ears.

"I'm sorry, little one," he says. "But Mollymauk and Yasha will take care of you."

He chews his lip for a second. Should he spend the time to pack something properly? He glances out the window. No Astrid, no Eodwulf, no Trent. It's worth the risk, if he finds the space to take more clothes. He doesn't know how long he'll have to go without washing them. He kneels on the floor, and reorganizes, methodical, fast, but not hasty. He finishes, takes a last look at his room, his cat, opens the door, and-

Four pairs of eyes settle on him. The room is full of movement, a quiet hum of conversation that only partially halts as he steps in. Beau is sitting in the center of the couch, one hand covering the mouthpiece on her phone, talking urgently to Jester, who is nodding, fingers flying as she texts. Molly is hunched over his computer. Fjord and Nott are missing. Yasha is on her phone, too, looking harried.

"Fucking finally," Beau says. She thrusts a colorful heap of paper stacked on at him. "I need you to burn these."

" _Was?"_ Caleb asks, confused, alarmed, clutching his bag to him.

"What is with the bag?" Jester asks, sounding nervous. "Caleb, you aren't  _leaving,_ are you?"

"It is the only sensible thing I can do," Caleb says, edging towards the exit.

Beau snorts. "Sure, yeah, get the national police  _and_ these weirdos after you. Good fucking plan, Caleb, you think you can evade  _them_ too?"

He has nothing to say to that.

"If you stay here, we can protect you, you have people to watch over you, and it's in public. Besides, you can get your weird government watchdogs to keep a lookout for them. Seems to me like it would be a stupid fucking plan to leave." Beau narrows her eyes. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Where did that come from?" Caleb says, stunned.

Beau smiles wickedly. "Look, like I said, I wasn't exactly an angel as a kid. I've evaded my fair share of pursuers. Was even in a gang for a few months."

"I do not know," Caleb says, indecisive. "I mean, if they do come, it is a big risk, and.... and I am not sure that I deserve your aid."

"Deserving things is bullshit," Molly says absentmindedly. "It's what people choose to do for you that matters." 

Beau nods awkwardly. "What Molly said. Now, are you gonna burn this or not?" 

Caleb picks up one of the sheets of paper. It simply says, "Phil". He frowns at it.

"What are these?"

"Door decks," Beau says with satisfaction. "I figure if someone does manage to get into the dorms, no need to make it easy for them. Nott and Fjord are rounding up the last ones. But like, for real we need to go and burn these so we don't get in trouble for stealing them all."

Caleb chuckles. "Do you know, Beau, I think this is the first time that I've seen you have a  _good plan."_

"Less talking, more flaming magic hands."

By the time he's reduced the pile to ash, Fjord arrives, dumping another pile into the wastebasket. "Hey, Caleb. You, uh, doing okay?"

Caleb hasn't really thought about it. "I believe so. Thank you. For, uh." He gestures at the now-burning pile.

"Yeah, anytime," Fjord says awkwardly, and plops down next to Jester.

Nott arrives three minutes later with a bulging bag, stuffed to the brim with the other residence hall door decks. She clings to Caleb for a second, and he rubs her back gently.

"You aren't, uh, going, are you?" She asks softly. "If you are, I packed a bag, and we can go together."

Caleb laughs around the lump in his throat. "No,  _liebling,_ I am not going. Beau has successfully talked me out of it."

"Oh good," Nott says. "Not that I would have argued, but... I like these people. And I think we're safe here."

They talk quietly as he burns the remaining door decks, and Caleb manages to push himself out of blind-panic-mode. He's just starting to think rationally when Beau says, "Okay, team meeting, everyone."

She waits until she's sure everyone is looking before she clears her throat and says, "Okay. Cool. So, first of all, Molly claims that you weren't fucking followed back, you idiot." This is directed towards Caleb. "So that's cool, I guess. Anyway, if he's right, then we don't know if they know where Caleb is, which brings us to item one. Scheduling. So, I'm thinking that I'll scan the general area around here every morning, so before you come out, wait to see if I give you the all clear. Caleb, you can't really go anywhere by yourself anymore. I think you need to make sure you're with an appropriate partner if you go anywhere."

"And an appropriate partner would be..." Molly says.

"Someone who has an ability that isn't super visible, but can still incapacitate or confuse the attacker," Beau says. "I think you, Jester, and  _maybe_ Nott. Me, too, if you think I'll be enough." She looks curiously self-conscious.

"I think you'd be  _great,_ Beau," Jester says supportively, pressed up against Fjord. "I mean, like, you can punch people really good, and they're like, 'whoa, this girl really fucked me up, that's so scary.'"

"Thanks, Jes. Uh, anyway, we've reached out to all of our contacts-"

"I think regular people call them friends," Molly says helpfully.

"Fuck you, Molly. We've reached out and told them to text us if they see any of em."

"Also, I called campus police," Molly says. "Reported Astrid as an abusive ex. If they see her, and she's not a student, she'll be escorted off-campus."

"They aren't students," Yasha says. "I, er, looked at the, the directory? There wasn't anyone who fit her description. And there weren't any Eodwulfs."

"That's a really good idea," Beau says, meeting Yasha's eyes for a second too long. They both look away, Yasha a little pink. "Well, there you go. So they don't have ID cards-"

"But, to be fair, they can just wait for students to, you know, open the door, and slip in," Molly points out.

"Well, yeah. But it's harder."

"Not much."

It devolves into bickering, then, and Caleb tunes it out. He's still afraid, but at least his friends have his back. Even if he isn't sure he deserves it.

He slips into his room a few minutes later, to empty his bag. Frumpkin rubs up against his arm as he unpacks, and he smiles down at the cat.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I wasn't thinking straight."

Frumpkin is leaning his whole weight against his arm, which Caleb interprets as forgiveness. He finishes unpacking and is just beginning to snuggle his cat when there's a knock at the door.

"It's Molly," he hears.

He opens the door, and Molly slips in, petting Frumpkin's head as he squeezes past Caleb.

"Don't open the door if we don't say who it is," Molly says by way of greeting.

"Good idea," Caleb says. They stay there for a second before Frumpkin mews impatiently and squirms out of Caleb's arms. He bends over to put the cat down, and when he stands up, Molly is very close to him.

"So," Molly says, "I think our date was... a little unusual."

"You could say that."

"Would you like to try again?"

Caleb hesitates, trying to figure out if it's too eager if he says yes, or if he should offer to do something for Mollymauk, or...

"If you don't," Molly says quickly, "it's fine, I get it, I-"

"No!" Caleb says, shocked. "I... I enjoyed the time. Before Astrid. And I think that, that, uh, I do like you, and here, and." He breaks off, uncertain, and decides  _to hell with it._

He leans in and kisses Molly, feeling Molly smile against him, his hands sliding down towards Caleb's lower back, pulling him closer. Caleb cups Molly's cheeks, brushing his thumb lightly over Molly's cheekbones, and is startled when Molly pulls away. When he opens his eyes, though, Molly is laughing, and he takes Caleb's hands and pulls them to Molly's own back.

"Height differential," Molly says, chuckling. "This is absurd, it's easier if I just..." and he leans in, cups Caleb's face this time, and to tell the truth, it is easier. Molly backs him gently into a wall, breaks away, and is beginning to kiss down his jaw towards his neck when Caleb reluctantly pushes gently at Molly until he backs away.

"This is..." he says, and Molly's hands slip from his face. "It is nice, but, but..." Caleb's brain is whirling, getting in the way of his enjoyment, telling him that he'll regret what happens if he doesn't think through it first. "I'm sorry, I would like to, but..." He flushes, tapping his head.

"It's fine," Molly says, and Caleb feels shitty anyway, opens his mouth to apologize again. "No, really, I get it. I'm the opposite, I just really want to... I don't know, have a good time before whoever it is finds someone better than me. I want to make them desire me, is that weird?"

"I honestly could not tell you," Caleb says.

"Yeah," Molly says. "I'll, um, text you."

"You're welcome to stay," Caleb says quickly. "If you would like?"

Molly hesitates. "I would love to, darling, but I think we're both in a bit of a strange headspace right now. I think some space would do us both good."

Caleb nods. "Then, I will see you tomorrow?"

"Of course you will," Molly says brightly. "I'm your bodyguard now, remember?"

Caleb laughs, but worry uncurls in his stomach again. Molly sighs and leans down to press a kiss to Caleb's forehead.

"Sleep well, love."

And then he's gone in a swirl of lavender and patchouli-scented air, and Caleb locks his door, sits down on his bed, and realizes all of a sudden how much he misses Molly, almost as soon as he's gone.

It's strange, and interesting, and maybe even a little worrying, and that's something he can focus on instead of the bad things, and does for the rest of the night until, still in his clothes, he turns out the light, closes his eyes, and wills himself to sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

It's a few days until Caleb even dares to venture outside. He's pretty sure the others know this, despite his claims to the contrary, but even Beau can tell not to mess with him. She texts him regularly, every time she "patrols" the nearly-deserted campus, letting him know that there's nobody there, nobody to fear. It doesn't do much on its own to fill the bubbling pool of dread in Caleb's stomach, but the consistency of it settles him over time. He and Jester go out together, the day before Yule, to buy presents. Jester chatters on and on animatedly, and pretends not to notice that he twitches every time he sees someone out of the corner of his eye. She's a little overbearing as a shopping partner, it's true- " _Oh, Caaaaaaleb, don't you think Yasha would like this painting? It's a shame that I already got hera present-"_ but Caleb isn't great at thinking of gifts anyway, so he just follows her advice on most of the gifts. Jester offhandedly mentions that  _this is my favorite store, everything in it is so cute and perfect and flattering_ as they pass a small boutique full of clothes obviously designed for tieflings, and he makes a mental note of that, returns after telling Jester he wants to go look at some books alone. She nods seriously, but smirks victoriously when she thinks Caleb isn't looking. That's okay, though.

Caleb is lost in the store for a little bit. There's more measurements than he expects and the store is bafflingly arranged. He wanders helplessly, desperate to avoid the eyes of the salespeople. Eventually he realizes that the shop is organized by color, then size, and that the other measurements are for tail circumference. He estimates Jester's measurements- he's pretty confident in hs own abilities, but if all else fails she can return it- and picks out a simple green skirt. He thinks he remembers that green and blue go together somehow, and he's sure that simple is the best way to go, with his usual inability to keep up to trends. He's about to check out when he sees a shining glitter of jewelry from a corner, and immediately thinks,  _Nott._

He collects as many of the crappy fashion jewelry rings as he can, and is almost, _almost_ done with the whole ordeal when he sees a flash of color and instinctively turns. It's a crescent moon pendant, one that shifts between royal blue and deep purple. It's also crappy fashion jewelry, but something inside of him whispers,  _Molly would like this._

He sighs and picks it up, adding it to his heap. He very tiredly dumps it on the counter, murmuring soft apologies about the quantity of items, but the worker's bright smile doesn't waver. He would be relieved, but something tells him that this poor woman has seen more of this kind of thing than he could dream of.

When he emerges, his bag jingling slightly, Jester is waiting by the door. He glares at her, and she shrugs.

"I know, I know, you wanted it to be a big surprise, but Caleb, it's okay, I'm reaaaaally excited that you got something here! I know I'll love it, and it just wasn't safe-"

 He smiles at her as genuinely as he can manage. "Do not worry, Jester, it is fine. Honestly."

She babbles on excitedly, helping him find gifts for the rest of their crew. Caleb relaxes in the cold, crisp air, relishes the feeling, starts to feel human again.

That doesn't stop him from nearly having a panic attack when he sees someone with a buzzcut from behind, but it is enough to make him think that, perhaps, with appropriate company, he could venture out from his room.

Not that day, though. Jester all but locks him in his room to wrap presents, and when he emerges, she and Mollymauk are dancing ridiculously around to Yule songs. The other members of their group trickle in, and Molly makes hot cocoa, and pretty soon there's a miniature get together going on in their suite. Caleb sits happily on the sofa, and when Molly drops down and flings an arm around his shoulders, he scoots a little closer, and is rewarded by a pleased smile from Molly. They don't talk, but it's comforting to have Molly wrapped around him, and Molly seems to be having plenty of fun engaging in verbal sparring with Beau.

The party dies down as people start to head to the dining hall, but Molly and Caleb remain where they are. Caleb's afraid Molly will let if he moves at all, so he nuzzles closer, and Molly chuckles and presses a soft kiss to his temple.

"I was thinking," he says cautiously, "that we could try the whole dating thing again. If you want to, I mean, it's not like..." 

" _Nein,_ I think I would like that," Caleb says, feeling very warm.

"Cool," Molly says. "Wonderful. I found a little spot- you know the botanic gardens?" When Caleb frowns, Molly clarifies, "It's the big greenhouse. On the edge of campus, I'm sure you've seen it?"

"Seen it,  _ja._ Is that even open? I never see anyone near there."

"They have open hours," Molly says. "Usually it's just the horticulture kids, but we can go in with our student IDs. And, I mean, we know that they aren't students, so..."

"We can't be discovered there," Caleb says. 

"Also it'll be warm," Molly says, wincing. "Not that I don't like the cold, but it does really crimp my style." He's been wearing oversized sweaters under his coat and complaining nonstop about how ugly they are for the past three weeks.

"Sounds good," Caleb says, then, "Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow is Yule," Molly points out.

"I suppose, but will that take all day?"

"No," Molly says, after considering it. "I suppose we're all really just celebrating in the evening. Tomorrow at noon, then?"

"Sounds good," Caleb says again. They're silent for a while before Molly says, "Hungry?"

"Starving." And the spell is broken, and the two of them get up and leave.

He sleeps well that night, free of the uneasy dreams that have been plaguing him since he sees Astrid. He sleeps so well, in fact, that he fails to wake up at his regular time. The clock says 10:37, and he groans and buries his face in his pillow. He's been meaning to do laundry, but there's no chance in hell that he can fit that in the hour before he and Molly are leaving. He takes a shower, brushes his teeth, and then spends the remaining time looking for an outfit that is a) clean, b) warm enough, and c) attractive. He's not sure that he's successful, but at least, he thinks, he looks passable.

Molly of course, looks perfect and elegant, as always. He's ditched the oversized sweater, and under his coat is wearing a black turtleneck and a deep blue scarf. 

"Will you not be too cold?" Caleb asks.

"Greenhouse, remember?"

"Of course."

Walking into the greenhouse is strange- a sudden gust of warm, moist air, a strong smell that Caleb can't quite place. They tap their IDs to open the door, and Caleb finds that he's relaxed slightly, inside that small level of protection. They walk in silence for a while, and suddenly Molly says, "Wait, come over here."

He holds open a door for Caleb, and the air suddenly goes from hot and humid to hot and dry. Caleb is sweating a little, and he internally curses his lack of layering.

"What is it?"

Molly points to a group of plants. Caleb leans over and bursts out laughing.

"They look like asses," Molly says unnecessarily, beaming.

"I can see that," Caleb says, smiling. After the initial shock, he gathers himself to look, chuckling, at the plants. They seem to be like some kind of succulent or something.

"I thought you would appreciate that," Molly says. And then it's silent.

Caleb desperately tries to think of something to say ass they continue along the path. He fails, and grabs Molly's hand to compensate. 

"I'm sorry," he says after a few minutes. Molly turns to look at him, startled.

"For what?"

"I'm not a very interesting date, am I?"

"I mean..." Molly frowns. "I like you? That's not in question. And I don't think you're very interesting in the way that I think a lot of people are interesting- I mean, you don't dress well- sorry, darling-"

"It's true."

"-you don't go out, you're quiet, but... I like you, Caleb, and you don't have to apologize for not being loud at me all the time. You ground me, it's... it's nice." 

They've moved on to a large room, big trees and jungle plants, and Molly pulls Caleb to a bench, sits down, and looks at him seriously.

"Look," he says, and Caleb's heart sinks a little at the earnestness of his tone. "I know that we've been... dancing around each other. A lot. And I just want to make sure we're on the same page again. I like you a lot, and if you'd let me, I'd like to be your datemate, but if you just want, I don't know, an easy lay, or if you're just doing this because you want to be polite, or something like that, I'd like it if you would tell me now, so that we don't come to some kind of misunderstanding." He delivers the whole speech in a long run-on sentence.

"I..." Caleb says, panicking a little internally. He hadn't expected to have to figure out his opinions so soon. "I like you a lot, Molly, and I think that... that I would like to date you, if that is what you mean. I just am, am afraid that, that you..." He stops, takes a few breaths, makes his brain settle down. "I am afraid that you are doing this because you feel like you have to."

"Why would you think that?"

Caleb snorts. "I mean, look at you, and look at me."

"Anyone would be lucky to have you," Molly says sharply. "And I'm not just saying that because I like you, Caleb, it's just true. And if you think you have to go out with me because I'm your only option-"

"I wouldn't-"

"No, no, I know that. I just mean, you know. It's sometimes hard to tell if you're in love with a person or in love with the fact that they love you, you know?"

Caleb shakes his head.

"Huh," Molly says. "Must be my vanity. Anyway, I forget what my point was going to be, but.... be nice to yourself, all right? And I want you to actually think about it, and what you want out of any relationship, because honestly the communication-"

"Molly," Caleb says, making an impulse decision, "will you be my datemate?"

"I mean  _yes_ but I would  _like you to consider your actions-"_

"I have," Caleb says, despite the queasy tentacles of anxiety that are coursing through him. "It has been something I have thought about for a very long time, Mollymauk, and-"

"Okay!" Molly says. "I'm not going to argue, love," and he pulls Caleb into a kiss, and Caleb forces his brain to shut up and just... makes out with Molly. It's good.

They separate eventually, and Molly says, "All right, I think this is more how dates are supposed to go," and Caleb laughs a bit. "Now, do you want to talk, or keep kissing, or.... you know, get dirty in the botanic garden?"

"I do not think I am ready for that," Caleb says, feeling heat creep into his face. Molly laughs and presses a kiss to his cheek. 

"I expected as much. Now come on! Let's go look at flowers. I promised Yasha I would take some pictures this time."

They're halfway out of the room when Caleb hears a sudden rustle, and whirls. There's a muffled curse- a man's voice, and Caleb feels himself stiffen. Molly's heard it too, and he murmurs, "Behind me, Caleb."

"Behind you? I am just as useful as you are in a fight," Caleb hisses back.

"If they're looking for you-"

There's a louder rustle, and Caleb conjures fire into his palms. 

"Who's there?" Molly calls, and Caleb, glaring at him, whispers, "Are you _insane-_ "

"Well, that's a new one," a calm, pleasant voice says from the plants. Not Ikathon, not Eodwulf.

Caleb instantly snuffs the flames. "I'm sorry, I don't know what you-"

"The flames thing, I mean. It's very cool." The speaker emerges, and Caleb has to look up to meet the firbolg's eyes. "Sorry, did I startle you?"

Caleb honestly doesn't know what to say, and Molly says, looking casual, "Happy Yule, friend. We were just on our way out."

"Oh, is it Yule already?" The figure chuckles. "Well, isn't that something. And you don't have to go, if you don't want to.  I'm Caduceus Clay. I'm the gardener here, and I really do like to see a couple of folks paying a visit to my work. It's very quiet here."

"I noticed," Molly says. He seems to be uncertain as to what to do. Caleb is surprised the man hasn't run off screaming about the fire, and he's still very much on guard. "Sorry if this is a bit forthright, but would you mind not telling anyone about the whole fire thing?"

"Oh, no," the man says placidly. "That's just common etiquette, you know?"

"Common etiquette?" Caleb asks. "What do you mean?"

"Well, for people like us, things can get pretty sticky if we get caught," Caduceus says. "Or so I'm told."

"Like  _us?"_ Molly says. "Wait, you can... do.... things?" He stumbles a little over the words.

"Oh, yeah," Caduceus says, and a vine suddenly uncurls from the tree next to him, twines around his arm. "You haven't met anyone else?"

" _Nein,_ " Caleb says instantly.  _Protect the others._ "I have tried to look it up, see if there was anything on the internet-"

"Oh, we don't talk about it there," Caduceus says. "Basically, as long as you stay quiet about it, there's no way for them to know. They don't like anyone with magic. Too much of a history of uprisings start with someone figuring out how to control their magic and taking that opportunity."

"Are there many people with magic here, then?"

"Not my secret to tell," Caduceus says enigmatically. "Anyway, I'm sorry if I spooked you. Would you like some tea, or anything?"

"We should get back to our friends," Caleb says. "Have a good time."

"You too, you too. Oh, by the way," Caduceus says, almost as an afterthought. "You seem like nice people. Keep an eye out and stay safe. If you see anything that looks like an out-of-place animal, stay out of its way. I know nature, and those things-"

"You saw one?" Caleb blurts out, his anxiety returning. "What did it do?"

"Lunged at me," Caduceus says serenely. "And I then I tore it to pieces."

"You- what?" It's almost impossible to imagine this gentle firbolg doing anything like that.

"I mean, I used the vines."

"Where is it?"

"It's fertilizer," Caduceus says calmly. Molly looks nearly as unsettled as Caleb feels.

"Well," Caleb says, "There will be more of those. There's someone here making them."

"That's not good," Caduceus says. "Not good at all. The last thing we need is an investigation down here." He sighs. "You know something about this?"

"Not much," Caleb says. "We'll talk about it some other time, we really do need to get going."

He all but drags Molly away, and as they arrive outside, Molly whispers, "I really like that man's aesthetic."

"He is  _very odd._ "

"Yes, I know," Molly says patiently. "That's why I like him."

They link arms as they walk across the cold campus.


	21. Chapter 21

By the time they arrive back at Leakytap, they've switched from arm in arm to holding hands, and Caleb knows rationally that they're touching less than they were touching before, but gods above, when Molly squeezes his hand absentmindedly, rubbing a thumb over Caleb's knuckles as he jokes about the firbolg they just met, Caleb all but  _melts._ He giddily wonders if this is what being in a real relationship is supposed to be like, or if this is just residual nervousness.

"Darling, are you listening?"

"Oh- absolutely,  _ja,_ " Caleb says hastily.

Molly laughs. "You're cute when you blush like that, you liar," he says, and unexpectedly leans in. For a second, Caleb thinks they're going to kiss, but instead Molly kisses his nose, wrinkling his forehead as he pulls back.

"You're freezing cold," he says accusatorially.

"Not for long," Caleb says, grinning. "The heat in this building, it is far too much."

Molly opens the door, gesturing Caleb in. "I'll make some cocoa, I've got some in the room," he says, and flings open his room door.

They're both treated to a view so unexpected that Caleb has to process it for a few seconds, and by the time he's come to terms with the mental image of Jester pinning Fjord to the wall, making out fiercely with him, they've broken apart.

"Molly," Fjord says, breathing heavily, "Uh, sorry, guess I should have, uh. Locked the door, or..." Caleb's seen Fjord flustered many times; they've even got a whole inside joke in the group chat about a memorable time someone thought Fjord wanted to invite them to an orgy. This might even top that.

"Congratulations," Molly says, directly to Jester, who is unabashedly buttoning up the front of her blouse. "I honestly thought he was so old-fashioned that you might have to take him on a few dates, first."

Jester smiles cheekily. "Mistletoe," she says, pointing above their heads. "So,  _technically_ I still might have to, but that's okay, right, Oskaar?"

Molly cranes his neck. "Jester, how in the name of fuck did you put that there?"

Jester only laughs and winks. "Okay, this was really fun, but I need to make our suite all pretty for Yule," she says, and breezes out.

Fjord clears his throat awkwardly. "So, uh, yeah. That fuckin' happened, I guess."

"Cuffing season is a wonderful thing," Molly says serenely. "I would congratulate you, but I honestly can't imagine what being in a relationship of any nature would be like with Jester."

"Interesting, I'd imagine," Caleb says. He's flushing, too, but at least he can blame it on his winter wear, and coming in from the cold.

"Oh, look at the two of you," Molly says, rolling his eyes playfully. "Both of you are so repressed. Can't you walk in on friends getting it on without making it weird?"

"No," Fjord says.

"Definitely not," Caleb says.

"Whatever," Molly says, pulling out his mugs. "Cocoa?"

The awkwardness around them eases gradually, and soon Caleb is able to relax and laugh and joke with them without feeling a burning sense of shame at interrupting. 

"You really don't know how it got up there?" Molly asks, pulling the mistletoe down and inspecting it.

"Nope," Fjord says, looking amused. "Tell you the truth, I thought it was some of her illusion horsecrap, but," he shrugs. "I wasn't complaining."

"No, I made her promise not to screw with our brains," Molly says. "Thought it would alarm... some of us." The way he hesitates makes Caleb almost sure that Molly was thinking of Caleb's paranoia in particular. He's not sure whether to feel annoyed or grateful. 

"Damn," Fjord says, poking suspiciously at the plant. "Does that mean she somehow snuck in?"

Caleb sighs. "Jester and Nott are very close these days, and I'm sure Nott wouldn't object to.... helping."

"Good point," Molly says. "Still creepy, but better." He stretches, pocketing the mistletoe. "All right, both of you out. I have some last minute wrapping to do."

They both grumble on their way out. Caleb takes the opportunity to do a load of laundry, and is returning when Molly cracks open his door and says, "No time to fold, love, we need to get going soon."

"In a moment," Caleb says, and slips into his room to change into nicer clothes. If he had known he was going to be asked out, he thinks ruefully, he would have been wearing a nicer outfit.

"Caleeeeeb," Molly whines from outside, and Caleb laughs and slips back out.

"Definite improvement," Molly says. Fjord is looking back and forth. 

"Wait a minute," he says. "Are y'all-" He stops, eyes still flitting back and forth. "Never mind."

"I won't," Molly says amiably, and they set out.

Even the door of the suite is decorated. When they open the door, Caleb is only marginally surprised to see that Jester has somehow smuggled what appears to be an entire tree into the room. There's tinsel, and candles, and this  _really is_ a flame hazard, but then again, so was Caleb, and Jester hadn't seemed to mind that at all.

It's a night that Caleb thinks he'll think back on fondly for his whole life.

Jester comes dancing up to them as soon as they enter, taking coats, flirting outrageously with Fjord, who turns an indescribably color, but leans in and kisses her with a confidence Caleb hadn't expected. They drop off their presents on a handy table, and Caleb is almost knocked over by Nott, who hugs him, beaming. "Happy Yule!" She crows, and Molly laughs and ruffles her hair, and Nott only bares her teeth a little bit.

Yasha consumes more mulled wine than Caleb would have considered possible. He's never thought of Yasha as a drinker, but she seems to enjoy it, and truthfully most of the alcohol has probably evaporated. Beau is standing next to her, and Yasha keeps smiling a soft smile that he's never really seen on her face before at Beau, and Beau is for once in her life at a loss for words.

Molly murmurs something to Nott, and Caleb thinks he's the only one who notices when a sprig of mistletoe slides slowly across the floor and then up the wall. He meets Beau's eyes and jerks his chin up at it, raising his eyebrows. Beau notices it, flushes bright red, and she says something to Yasha, pointing up. Caleb glances away as Yasha leans down, meeting Molly's eyes in a conspiratorial smile.

Jester is almost as eager as Nott to open the presents, and they all gather around as the two of them tear open their gifts. The other open their gifts at a more sedate pace. Caleb gets lots of books. He's not surprised, but he is surprised when Jester and Molly venture into Jester's room and return with a duffel bag full of new clothes.

"Honest to gods, darling, this is a gift for me," Molly says when he protests, looking at the price tags. "And a public service."

"Yeah, no offense, Caleb, but you really look awful in your normal clothes," Jester says, and then in a stage whisper says, "and you should start wearing cologne and put product in your hair too."

"Easy there, sweetheart, we'll make him a functioning adult one step at a time," Molly says, grinning. And really, what choice does Caleb have but to accept graciously? 

There's more, obviously; people dropping in, hanging out, laughing, drinking. Jester's ordered fancy catered food, which Caleb tries and decides he doesn't like. Nott, agreeing, stealthily orders a pizza, and the two of them intercept the delivery man and scarf down the entire thing, giggling quietly, in the hall. Keg runs into them, and agrees to be silent in exchange for the last slice.

It's very late when the party finally winds down.

"You're going to have a whole mess of wax to clean up," Caleb says, staring drowsily at the remnants of the candles.

"Whatever," Jester says, shrugging. "I can get people to help."

"Happy Yule," Molly says, kissing her cheeks. "I need to take my wizard home, but is it safe to assume that Fjord is staying here?"

"Uh," Fjord says.

"Probably, yeah," Jester says, smiling cheekily.

"Wait, what?" Beau calls from where she's sitting, practically in Yasha's lap. Caleb's amused to see that her trademark topknot is down, and Yasha is running her fingers gently through it.

"Don't worry, Beau, I can sleep out here," Nott says. "You two can have our room, Yasha. But you aren't allowed in my bed, and you can't touch any of my stuff, and if it smells weird in there..."

They shut the door before Caleb can hear the last of Nott's conditions. He feels warm and safe and content, and he nuzzles tiredly into Molly's shoulder.

"Are you drunk?" Molly asks conversationally.

"Tired, mostly," Caleb says. 

"Oh well," Molly says. "I was thinking that we would have the room to ourself with Fjord out, but honestly if you're sober and I'm drunk, I don't think it'll work out well."

Caleb feels heat creep into his face. "Of course," he says too quickly.

"Caleb," Molly says patiently, pulling him closer, making Caleb struggle not to trip over Molly's feet as they walk, "You know you're allowed to say no to things, right?"

"What is this about?"

"Every time I mention anything physical, you get a look on your face like you just bit into a lemon," Molly says. "And you blush. A lot. If you don't desire me in that way- Caleb, you're more important than just someone I can get off with."

"It's not that!" Caleb says hastily. "It's just that. I think I want to, but my brain, I'm always worried about how it will be and... I just need time, Molly. But don't get me wrong, I do desire you."

It's started to snow, and Caleb marvels at how pretty everything is- the stars, the snow, Molly.

"That's good to hear," Molly says. He holds the door of Leakytap open, but Caleb shakes his head.

"Just give me a moment to look at this," he says, smiling. "It is beautiful out here, I think."

"I'd offer to watch with you," Molly says, "But I really need to pee. So I'll be back in five minutes, love." He kisses Caleb's cheek before going back upstairs.

It's so quiet that Caleb swears he can hear the snow settling on the ground. It's a good quiet, though, a peaceful quiet.

Another group of revelers returns to Leakytap, and someone peels off to join him in looking at the scene. Caleb feels a strange kinship with this person, someone who also appreciates the view and wants a quiet moment to appreciate it.

Or so he thinks, until she turns towards him, and Astrid says, "Happy Yule, Caleb. Do you have a second? We were hoping to have a quick word with you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise there's gonna be an end to the story! I just have a lot on my plate, so updates are coming slower :)


	22. Chapter 22

_No,_ Caleb thinks.  _No, not now, not here._ "Of course," he says, because what else can he do?

"This way, then," she says, and starts to walk. For a second, Caleb considers running inside, but it's  _Astrid._ At least, for now, they don't seem to be interested in killing him on the spot for his mistakes. He follows, obediently.

There's silence, and Astrid glances at him sidelong. He sees her smiles slightly. "You look well, Caleb. Adulthood suits you."

" _Ja,_ " he says, uncomfortable. " _Danke._ " His hands are in his pockets, and he fumbles for his phone with one hand, praying she doesn't notice.

"We were worried," she said. "We thought, perhaps, that they would never let you go. But you convinced them, somehow, didn't you? You were always so smart."

"I do not know about that."  _After all, I threw my lot in with you._ Moving as quickly as he dares, he unlocks his phone, and hopes his muscle memory is as good as his regular memory. He opens his text app, clicks at where he expects the right menu to be.

* * *

 

 **Prettyboi:** fuck fuck fuck guys I fuckde up

 **Prettyboi:** this is an emergency seriously

 **Sneakyboi:** what happened?

 **Sneakyboi:** I have to warn you, if you're fucking with them, it won't go well for you.

 **Sneakyboi:** they're all about ten minutes from fucking.

 **Prettyboi:** I lost Caleb nott im so sorry

 **Sneakyboi:** brb

 **Grumpyboi:** Molly I will kill you

 **Prettyboi:** I'm sorry to bother you beau but MY BOYFRIEND HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED

 **Sweetboi:** wait you two are dating?

 **Prettyboi:** not! the right!!!! time!!!!!!!!

 **Prettyboi:** we need to figure out where Caleb is

 **Quietboi:** pppppppppp

 **Prettyboi:** CALEB 

 **Prettyboi:** I was so worried where are you

 **Quietboi:** ppppppppppppppppp

 **Sneakyboi:** ok we aren't getting anything useful out of him

**Quietboi is sharing location with "the bois are back in town"**

**Sneakyboi:** I've changed my mind

* * *

 

Caleb can only pray that one of his attempts to share his location succeeds. He's pretty sure it would have been easier if he were sober. Astrid has stopped trying to talk to him, which is most likely for the best. Initially, they headed along a hiking trail, but they went off of it about ten minutes ago. He's beginning to think she's brought him into the middle of the woods to kill him when a glimmer of light catches his eye through the trees. Astrid sees the relief on his face and smiles at him. "That's right. Home sweet home. For now, at least."

And all at once, remembering who he has to meet, Caleb's heart sinks. He stumbles over a tree root, breaking his fall awkwardly with his hands. Astrid's laughter is joined by another voice, and looking up, Caleb barely recognizes Eodwulf. He's lounging against a tree, and by his feet, a large wolf sits, unnaturally still.

"Drunk?" Eodwulf asks, and Caleb can't tell if he's addressing Astrid or him. He settles for an awkward shrug as he gets back to his feet. "That's all right. It's Yule after all." 

"What excuse do you have?" Astrid asks. "Not doing a wonderful job of staying out of sight, are we? I thought we agreed that your creatures patrol, not you."

"Sue me. I wanted to see the return of the prodigal son." Eodwulf steps over to peer at Caleb. "Looking better than last time I saw you, Caleb. It doesn't look like you're working yourself to death anymore." He smiles, and Caleb's sure it's not meant to be malicious, but... "Don't worry. Trent will fix that."

"Trent, is it?" Caleb asks, startled. "Mr. Ikathon, you mean?"

"We've dispensed with formalities since we went on the run from the government," Eodwulf says dryly, and this time Caleb's sure he can hear contempt in his voice. "Not all of us got to spend the past year safe and comfy at a university, you know."

"Eodwulf, behave," Astrid says. To Caleb, she says, "Sorry. He's been bitter that he wasn't smart enough to pull off the kind of ruse you did."

"I don't know that it is a ruse," Eodwulf says bluntly. "How do we know he isn't a mole?"

Astrid just looks at him.

"Like, a spy mole," Eodwulf amends. "He is very obviously not the animal mole." He grins at Caleb. "I would know. I've eaten enough of them, while we were on the run."

"Stop being dramatic," Astrid says crossly. "We didn't eat moles. We just had Eodwulf's creatures bring us some hikers. And more importantly, their money. It really wasn't that bad." 

Caleb looks away.

"Anyway, whatever his intentions, Trent will want to talk to him," Eodwulf says. "He's been waiting. You were supposed to bring him back an hour ago."

"He was at a party," Astrid says, annoyed. "What was I supposed to do, crash it?" She beckons Caleb forward.

The light turns out to be a small camping light. Truthfully, the whole setup is pretty nice; several large tents, a fire pit, the works. Caleb would be impressed if he weren't about to dissolve into a panic attack. 

Trent Ikathon is sitting by the fire pit, and looks up. For a second, Caleb is transported back several years; true, Ikathon looks older, and he's grown a somewhat impressive beard, but when he looks at Caleb, there's the same uncomfortable feeling that he's being sized up and dissected, measured for his value. 

"Caleb," he says by way of greeting. "Studying hard at university, I hear?"

" _Ja,"_ Caleb stutters. He's thought at night about all the things he would say to Ikathon when he saw him again, but he's completely frozen in fear, outnumbered, outclassed.

"In Common," Ikathon orders, and Caleb inhales slowly, says "Yes, sir."

"What major?"

It's surprisingly banal. Caleb almost laughs out of sheer shock. "I was thinking, maybe, chemistry, I could-"

"I should have known," Ikathon says, a smile on his face. "Always fascinated by fire, I remember. I'm surprised you haven't burned the university down yet."

Caleb's so frazzled he's about to recite the entire fire safety code in the campus handbook, so he's almost relieved when Ikathon bulls through his feeble explanation. "No, don't answer that, we'll be here all night. Look, we've been staying here for too long. Astrid can usually avoid detection, now that she's shaved her head, but even so, it's risky to be this close. We need to fall back, regroup, keep practicing. You've been staying sharp, I trust?" 

Caleb stands completely still, baffled.

"It doesn't matter. We can whip you back into shape. I've heard rumors of conflict on the border with Xhorhas. I thought we might be able to get past the border in the confusion." He tilts his head. "You'll need to shave your head, obviously, but I think you aren't too distinctive."

"I-" Caleb begins, just as Ikathon is launching into the next stage of his plan. He stops and glares. "What is it?"

"I don't want to," Caleb says.

Ikathon looks genuinely baffled by that. "You-"

"I am sorry, Mr. Ikathon," he says, turning to Astrid. "Astrid. Eodwulf. But I'm afraid I cannot join you, I have commitments, and-"

"You will come," Ikathon says calmly. "One way or another."

Astrid takes his arm. "It's not bad, Caleb. I promise. We'll stay together, and-" she breaks off with a cry, letting go and rubbing at her eyes. Caleb glances, confused, at her, before realizing what's happening. He whirls and runs. Ikathon's bellow of rage trails off in confusion, and Caleb hears Jester's voice in his ear.

"He sees a lot of copies of you running away, so you run away too, okay?"

There's no real way for him to respond, but he's already running. Behind him, he hears an ominous rumble of thunder. Casting a quick glance behind him, he runs smack into someone, and for a second feels blind panic before looking up and recognizing Molly. 

"Shh, shhh, it's okay, it's just me," Molly murmurs, tugging him along. "This way, let's go." There's a loud scream- female, Caleb thinks, but he can't recognize more than that- and he flinches.

"We need to go," Molly says, almost inaudibly. "They'll target you. I can blind pursuers, the others are running interference. Mr. Clay has got the creatures, so we shouldn't run into anybody-"

His sentence is cut off abruptly as a hurricane-force gust of wind throws both of them backwards. He hits his head hard, hard enough that he blacks out for a split second. He's aroused suddenly by a loud sound, louder than Caleb can comprehend, and his vision goes white for a second.

He blinks a few times, shaking his head, and sees Ikathon standing over Molly. Molly, who is lying very still, smoking slightly. Caleb feels his heart stop.  _Lightning doesn't mean he's dead,_ he thinks desperately, trying to focus. Ikathon is saying something, pointing at Molly. Caleb swears he can feel himself burn for a second.  _Nein. No, not Molly, not him, you can't take him-_

He pulls that close to him, his rage, his terror, then throws it at Ikathon, hatred made fire. Maybe he screams; Caleb can't hear. For a second, vividly lit, he swears he sees fire eat  _through_ Ikathon's head, and thinks, giddily,  _I'm a murderer._

He drags himself to Molly. His whole body aches, and he crouches by Molly, praying. He's no healer, but he's not stupid; he feels for a pulse, and finds one, beating faster than he thinks is normal, but still there.

He nearly collapses in relief, sinking to the ground. He's so tired. He was tired before, he remembers, but this is worse, this is exhaustion pouring irresistibly over him. 

_I'll just close my eyes. Just for a second._

 


	23. Chapter 23

Things are a little blurry after that.

He thinks he remembers being found.

" _It's not working, why isn't it working?"_

_"You're exhausted, it's not your fault, we all need rest."_

_"He'll be fine, I think you fixed the worst of it-"_

"Molly," he tries to say.

_"It's okay, Caleb, you're both going to be okay, it's all right-"_

Caleb tries to explain that Molly needs help, but everything dissolves again. He feels movement, even understands voices from time to time, but it's all mixed up with dreams of Molly, of Ikathon and the fire, and he gives up entirely on trying to understand what's real.

And then a massive hand touches his forehead, and things sharpen a little bit. He opens his eyes groggily. "Astrid, _und_  Eodwulf-"

"It's okay, darling, you're safe. You're home." a familiar voice says. Caleb reaches for Molly, who laughs and takes Caleb's hand. "I'm here."

"I should go," Yasha says from above him. Caleb tries to formulate a sentence that will work, and fails miserably. Molly moves, not letting go of his hand, and hugs Yasha. There's a muffled exchange, and Caleb fights to stay awake. It is not a battle he foresees winning.

"Are you asleep?" Molly asks in a voice that makes Caleb  _melt_ a little bit, all concern and amusement. A hand combs gently through his hair, and Caleb nuzzles into the touch as much as he can. 

"Do you want me to stay?" Molly asks.

" _Ja,_ " Caleb says, too tired for Common. The bed shifts as Molly climbs over him, and then he's enveloped in Molly's warmth and scent, and it doesn't take long for him to succumb to sleep after that.

 

When he wakes up for the final time, he feels much better, sane, lucid. Molly's warmth is still at his back, and he shifts, rolling over, and sees a pair of sleepy red eyes looking inquisitively at him.

"Sorry, Molly," he whispers guiltily. "Go back to sleep."

"No, I'm awake now," Molly says, pulling him closer. "Are you feeling okay? Do you need anything, painkillers, water-"

"I am fine," he says, and leans in to kiss Molly. Molly smiles against him, bringing a hand up to cup Caleb's face, thumb stroking his cheekbones. They stay like that for a while, and Caleb feels a pang of loss when Molly finally pulls away, smiling at him.

"Are we sure that you're not still concussed, Mr. Caleb? That's not very like you."

Caleb rolls his eyes. "I was worried about you, Mollymauk. I saw you get hit with lightning."

"Left a cool scar," Molly says, pulling the blanket off of his chest to display a rippling scar, branching and forking like lightning itself. 

"Could Yasha not get rid of that?"

Molly shrugs. "She was exhausted. Some of the beasts had freed themselves from Clay's vines. Savaged Beau. She's fine," he hastens to add, correctly interpreting Caleb's look of horror, "but Yasha didn't have enough in her to fix me or you completely after that. Besides, I like it."

"Everyone is all right?" Caleb asks, just to make sure.

"Everyone is fine. Jester and Fjord went back and fucked as soon as it was over, I'm pretty sure. Beau has been fretting over Yasha, but not as much as Yasha has been worried about Beau. It's adorable to watch, really. Nott wouldn't leave your side until she fell asleep on the floor. Yasha brought her back when she fixed your concussion. I'm sure she'll be furious, but what can you do? Clay promised to deal with Astrid and Eodwulf. Says he'll send them away somewhere where they'll have the chance to make something good of themselves. I think he knows a lot of people like us, and he said he'd talk about introducing us."

"Mmm." Caleb rests his head tiredly against Molly's chest.

"Are you going to fall asleep again?" Molly asks.

"Of course not," Caleb says, pulling away to glare up at Molly. "I just want to be near you."

"That's adorable," Molly says, pulling him back. Caleb would have responded, but Molly kisses him again, and whatever he was going to say can wait, actually.

When he pulls away, Molly makes a loud noise of disappointment. 

"You are so whiny," Caleb says, amused. "I need to  _piss,_ Mollymauk."

"Gross."

When he returns, Molly is sitting up in bed, Frumpkin nosing around his hand.

"Has anyone fed him?" Caleb asked.

"Yasha did. She's got a soft spot for him."

Caleb laughs, sitting down beside Molly and scratching under his cat's chin. "Who can blame her? He's quite a handsome fellow."

"Much like his owner."

"Smooth," Caleb says sardonically. 

"I take every opportunity I can."

There's silence, for a while.

"So," Molly says eventually, "We should probably meet up with the others."

"Probably," Caleb agrees. Neither of them move.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Molly complains. "I want to do more than kiss, and normally I would suggest that right about now, but now that I'm aware there's a cat in the room, it's  _weird."_

"We could move to your room," Caleb suggests impulsively.

"Wow. Thirsty much?"

"Oh, well, if you don't want to-"

"No, no," Molly says hastily. "That's not what I meant. I just wanted to make fun of you. As I'm sure you've realized, I've wanted to fuck you for a while."

Caleb winces. 

"Little bit much?"

"A little," Caleb says. "You have to remember, I am very new to this."

"Don't worry," Molly says. "It's really not so complicated as people pretend. I mean, I figured it out in about two years."

"You learned how to fuck before you learned how to read."

"Exactly."

"That's a little bit concerning, wouldn't you say?"

"Nope." Molly kisses him quickly and gets up. "So, shall we move to my room?"

"Is Fjord there?"

"Yes, you caught me, it would be weird to do it in front of a cat, but not weird to do it in front of my unconsenting roommate."

Caleb rolls his eyes, but has to smile. Molly holds out his hand, and Caleb takes it. It feels oddly guilty to walk across the suite, like someone is going to catch him and demand to know what he's playing at.

Molly shuts the door behind him gently, locking it. He smiles gently, tenderly at Caleb, and Caleb feels his heart beat faster in a mixture of nervousness and anticipation. 

"So," Molly says, "How do you want to do this?"


End file.
